Zombies, More PopularThan The Christ
22. Mar, 2004 
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1. Dawn of the Dead – $27.3 million – Horror movies are so unoriginal now that they have to rehash old ones. I expect this trend to continue, but the remakes will be of more current movies. Ready for the Gus Van Sant shot for shot remake of Cabin Fever? I’m done with this crap. We need a new genre with a similar name: Whore Movies.
2. The Passion of the Christ – $19.1 million – I’m already counting down the days for Mel’s Chanukah: the Festival of Lights flick. Now we can finally learn the origin of potato latkes!
3. Taking Lives – $11.4 million – More like taking people’s money or wasting it. Any movie with Olivier Martinez is not worth watching.
4. Starsky & Hutch – $10.6 million – If Kevin Smith is the Orson Welles of crap, then director Todd Phillips is Stanley Kubrick.
5. Secret Window $9.6 million – Just cause Stephen King wrote it, doesn’t mean it has to be turned into a film.
6. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – $8.56 million – Go see this movie. Go see this movie now. Go see this movie now and again. To be reviewed later today.
7. Hidalgo – $8.5 million – C. Thomas Howell’s triumphant return to the silver screen… for all of 2 minutes.
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9. 50 First Dates – $4.3 million – First 8 Crazy Nights, now this. What’s next, a Turk 182 remake?
10. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen – $1.5 million – LOTR: ROTK has been completely knocked off of the top ten by COATDQ. You go LL and abbrvs!!
