Prom Frites
29. May, 2004 
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– Sure, we were all a lil nutty when wees was in high school, but you still never wanted to be “that guy” who wore the dreaded tar heel blue tux or even the way way weigh faux pas tuxedo t-shirt to the prom. Sure times have changed. Kids get hand jobs in third grade and are much more into experimentation all around (see ‘testing gender boundaries‘ posting). But the song remains the same. Latest prom formal wear craze: duct tape. And some chick in Maine to took two years to make an entire dress out of Starburst wrappers!
– How do you get people to watch a movie on cable TV that no one wanted to see in theaters? In the case of the Starz! Network v Gigli, you tell em that it’s so awful that “you know you want to see it.” Ben Affleck is the new Carrot Top (read: box office poison). Even the Kevin Smith helmed Shitfleck project, Jersey Girl, made $10 million less than the entire budget. Maybe they’ll both embark on new careers. [Link via Flea]
– This guy has probably the funniest blog I’ve ever read. Czech out his May 27th entry. What a joker!!!
– Don’t be an f-in bastard and use this Did They Read It? service that will tell you when exactly an email you sent someone was opened, how long that email remained opened, and where geographically was that email viewed. I have emails sitting in my inbox from 1816. I promise, I’ll respond, but I’ll a little busy right now trying to conquer the world and LL’s heart.
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– Speaking of LL, turns out that daddy Michael has a history of violence and was once even a “jailhouse stoolie” for commodities fraud. Who cares, his sperm is the f-n biz-omb! [Link via my girl Vega$]
– And one final stizzle… Since I’m back in the burbs, I like to do burbsy kinda things like go to the mall. Well, ya wanna know what? The malls f-in suck worse then Ben Affleck’s career. Who needs 8,273 shoe stores in one place? The only bright spot on my tour of duty was the free chicken finger samples at Chick-fil-A in the food court.
