Riders of Lohan
09. Aug, 2004 
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So much is a buzz with Her Royal Thighness. First she was invited to perform at the GOP Convention, but told em to shove it up their stem cells. [via Steak Tatara]. Next she racked (and what a great rack it is) up 4 Teen Choice Awards (about as worthless as a library or social security card) for best movie hissy fit and best movie blush and best thighs as voted by the Thigh Master. And finally, fire crotch went out and broke my heart by wearing a bling-blaux ring given to her by b-friend Fez, which has in turn sparked rumors of MARRIAGE!!! So sayeth it aint so!! That’s OK, cause me thinks we were Bitched @ Swirth (note the sunglasses).
