Digital Penetration
09. Sep, 2004 
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– Here’s one magazine I won’t be beating off to in Rocktober: Playboy. Why? Cause they’re rocktobering nekkid pics of video game heroines. I mean, what kinda sick-o would whack their mole to that stizz? Probably the same sick sick sick sick sick sick people who buy 1/8 of my company’s product line. Speaking of video games, Atari is going buckwild on their back catalog and PBS is jumping on youth oriented bandwagon too! If only they could find a way to make Hercule Poirot as cool as Bam Margera. This isn’t one of those ways.
– The WB needs to revive Dawson’s Creek from the dead, cause their fall line-up stinks worse than microwaved chopped liver covered in crab guts. Commando f-in Nanny? Bloggah please, if Gerald McRaney needs the money that bad, we’ll all send him 6 dollars to the APO of his choice. And Jack & Bobby? I’d rather see Sirhan Sirhan & Lee Harvey.
– I guess things are rather slow over at The Cack-Smoking Gun’s newsroom, cause who really gives a flying burrito brother if Landon from Real World: Philagayphia assaulted a horse or not?
– Here’s a list of 50 Weirdest Guinness World Records. Could you imagine having 98% of your body covered in fur or being 22.4 inches tall? I have enuff trouble getting around with my 22.7 inch dong [via My Man Marvkus]
– The Bermuda Triangle explained!!! Sorta…
– Click here if you want free passes to see Duran Duran perform on Carson Daly’s ‘talkshow’.
– New rings and things were spotted around Saturn’s f-in region, I mean F-ring region. Ahhhhhh, that hit the G-spot, I mean the spot. By the way, whatever happened to 7-Up’s Spot? Was he replaced by Orlando Jones, who was later replaced by Rolando Joans?
– Gorillaz, J5, Danger Mouse, and udders team up to help end genocide in Sudan.
– These CDs stink! And they kinda remind me of these floppy disks thingies my sister had in the 80s that did a similar thing.
– Too lazy to carry yo sunglasses and chopsticks? Tis yer lucky day!
– And to close up shoppe here, Dad Allegedly Attempts 8-Year-Old Son’s Circumcision!!! That’s purty f-ed up, but I still wouldn’t ask Congress to pass a bill to end male genital mutilation. I don’t like to mix my meat with cheese (see definition for smegma) [thanks for the tips Made of Brawn-steeen]
