Changing Lois Lanes

My T-Mobile sponsored T-Giving weak is frinally over. It can all be summed up in these minimal words: pies inhaled, balls bowled, footballs footed, necks injured, and Her Current and Former Royal Thighnesseses playing cock-footsies with me under the table during the feast. And what kind of human would I be if I didn’t thank all mi familia and friends for being some of the breastestest peoples on Earth, if not all of Maryland. Anywho, lettuce get this party started once again…

– What do you do when Fox News is yer daddy? You make SportCenteresque commercials. I guess I’d rather watch Christiane Amanpour get all silly nilly than Stuart Scott.

– UK’s fab Top of The Pops (think a besterer American Bandstand) show is being demoted from BBC1 to BBC2. Me don’t really care. Me just want dem Brits to put it back on BBCAmerica! I mean, where else am I going to see a group of teenagers sing ABBA songs AND be respected?

– Why do people keep employing Jeff George? That’s like letting Marion Barry back into politics… again and again.

– Trainspotting scribe Irvine Welsh to give film directing a go. That’s like letting Marion Barry back into politics… again and again.

– Is there anything better than the ACC? Yeah, the ACC without VTech, Miami, and BC.

– Hopefully this dude with extra digits on his hand AND foot has an alibi for the death of Inigo Montoya‘s father. If not, prepare to die.

– Me thinks the new U2 album friggin rocks is really good. Its scattered, smothered, and covered in elements of all of their previous albums for any fan to enjoy. Stand out track be ‘City of Blinding Lights’ and am I the only one not sick of ‘Vertigo’ yet? And why do I have this sudden urge to buy an iPod?

– Wanna know why Alexander is a flop? I mean who wants to see a movie about a guy ‘as gay as a maypole‘ or who ‘was defeated only once – by Hephaestion’s thighs.” [via Big Bad Boggle Player]

– New York’s changing.

– Dem school children may want their teachers to leave them alone, but I think they’d be much happier with some Pink Floyd royalties. I mean, how can they have any pudding if they don’t gots any cash?

– Jaleel White, the New Kid on The Blogck. [via Navi The Dukie]

– Redskins still in the playoff hunt… and somehow so are the 1-10 SF 49ers!?#?!?#@!?$

– Sandy Cohen better find himself a good Patent Attorney, cause these motherstickers are selling Chrismukkah cards without his permission. Lettuce juss pray that they don’t go further with this whole Easterover crap.

– And finally, the three finalists to portray Lois Lane in the upcoming Superman flick are: Kate ‘Brian’ Bosworth, Claire ‘You Bore Me’ Danes, and Elisha ‘Lord of the Thighs Cuthbert. Is this even a competition? You mean to tell me that Superman would think for a second about spreading his supersperm in Angela Chase or that lame a$$ girl from Blue Crush? Well if any of the producers are reading this and they want lots of free publicity, the choice is bovious… and if that happens, I’d also like to play Superman and add 31,2,36456,54,31856 sex scenes to the script.