How Does One Top Tara Reid’s Repulsive Areola?

Plain and nipple simple, you don’t, unless you watch the uber–unhotness VIDEO of it happening!! [updated betterest areola vid link mad hotness via Dis Lonely Hizland]

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– I never thought I’d see the day, but Elisha Cuthy Cuthinson did something that makes me want to puke all over my penis: had raw tuna for lunch.

– For those who care (or to see how orange she is), Her Former Royal Thighness, LL’s guest spot on That ’70s Show will air on November 10th – this Wednesday. And while u wait for that, Grambs dissects her upcoming album’s cover. Seriously, where are the tits!!

– So much good info from The Fiddler today: Six Feet Over? Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!! At least they know how to go out on top unlike The So-borings. Simpsons flick set for 2008. And after peeping Tim Burton’s Wonka poster, I’m officially scared for me and all the Augustus Gloops out there.

– CAT IN SPACE!!!! [via Zach de la Roachclip]

– Renee Zellweger engaged to Jack White? Maybe puffer fish face will take over on drums for Meg.

– Ewan McGregor as 007? NOW there’s something I can get behind… besides Jude Law on all fours!

– Google helps you find porn and now can even save people’s lives! [via Mediabistro]

– NBC will continue to carry the wurstest in network sports… at least until 2011.

– How does one purrfectly advertise for that super Wilco-Lips-Kinney New Year’s show? They do it like dis.

– The 70s were such an awful decade. Let these Weight Watchers recipe cards be further proof. [via My Man Marvkus]

– How dare some yokel use the great name of Waffle House in a song bashing Kerry. To make us all feel better, read the brief history of Waffle House. [both via Made of Brawnsteeen]

– The International Sand Collectors Society. These guys get slightly more pussy than the Elephant Man.

– Bruce Lee animated gif, from Johnny Dollar to you and me.

– Peace the fork out to Howard Keel, a man I knew little about, cept he had a WICKED-a$$ mustachio!

– Everyone knows the Thigh Master is a man all about dem Japanese peoples. And you should too, cause who doesn’t love ‘Japanese business man is tired‘ and bitch slappingings. [both via Newbsy Russell]

– Andy Rooney delivered one of his sharpest curmudgeon thing-a-ma-bobs of the year on last evening’s 60 Minutes.

– Adidas’ T-Mac 4: the mos pointless shoe since the Reebok Pump? If you see Dee Brown sporting these, run for your lives!

– Loathe green beans like me, then don’t even think about trying the Green Bean Casserole Soda.

– Alert to Arkansas boys who enjoy swordfighting, keep an eye on the Arkansas girl who can blow a 16-inch bubble.

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– 19 lobsters in 35 minutes. My hero.

– And just wanted to briefly mention the two fab election week shows I attended last week: Le Tigre @ Irving Platz and R.E.M. @ MSG. Le Tigs f-in rocked… whilst playing as few instruments as humanly possible. It was the day before the election and spirits were high… especially being around a ton o lesbians rocking out, who you knew were voting for JFKerry. The new and old tunes shined on like crazy diamonds. As for Rapid Eye Movement, a lot of peeps be knocking how boring their new album is, but they juss plain crazy. Listen to it 7 mo times for a full effect. And personally, I think since Bill Berry left the group, they’ve only gotten BUTTER! Yepper-ino. The show I saw was two days after the election. Stipey and co were rather quiet, quiet like the new songs, but the energy was high, but not as high as me. They summed up how the audience was feeling when when they opened with ‘It’s The End of the World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine)’ and before playing classic ‘Cuyahoga’, said ‘This is a song about Ohio’ to a chorus of boooos (to the red state, not the song). And sure, some of the new songs slowed down the set, and I wasn’t too happy the didn’t play the breastest song off of Around The Sun, ‘Electron Blue’, but it tit all sounded so beautiful (was that heteroflexible sounding enuff?). You can find the set-list here. Howevs, the show was not nearly as umcredible as the two I caught last year around this time on their greatistist hits tour. And I juss wanna add that it be a crying shame that the show wasn’t even sold out. C’mon people, they’re just as good as fellow 20+ year olders U2, cept they didn’t play inside a giant lemon or like the Pope’s johnson. So go and support the gay political bald dude. He needs more money to be gayer, politicaller, and even more bald. Who loves ya baby?