Pretty In Pink Parts

Oh Cuthy Cutbertonson. What a wild time we had on yer B-day the other night, right? Remember when Stephen Dorff showed up and we couldn’t stop talking about how umcredible he was in S.F.W.? Or how bout when we went home, got decked out in our birthday suits and went wiz-niz-wild on each other for 14 straight hours? Those Dirty Sanchezes, Kansas City Car Washes, Albuquerque Caber Tosses, and dem Iron Curtain Sirprizes were some of the breastest that me have ever been a part of. And how thoughtful of you to give me a gift on yer special day: dying yer hair back to the correct color. You deserve an even bigger night out doll face. First we’ll hit up yer fav Popeyes, then we’ll play in the ball bin at Chuck E Cheeseseses, and finally head home for even more dirty blonde action, whilst watching the Punky Brewster DVD collection that I bought you for yer B-day. Anywho, czech out these very uninterestinging snaps I took from the sha-bang. [via Central Villa]

– Tits rather sad that there’ll won’t be a Lord of The Bling flick in theaters this winter, but I think the extended special version of ROTK will help to pass the time… especially since 50 minutes have been added!!! Czech out this extended preview of the extended edition that helps my wang get extended. I mean, who knew that Faramir was such a mack daddy with my girl Miranda HOTto?

– I contact Wagamama once a year asking them to purty please open a branch in the US. And this year’s response is much like year’s past: “We do intend to go to the states but there are no official plans as we already have a very busy opening schedule this year.” Boo URNS peoples! I need yer help, so please contact Wagamama and demand quality slurping noodles NOW! Btw, Noodles is lord!

– Jessica Simpson looking to Bjork for inspiration? Thats like Chef Boyardee looking to Wolfgang Puck for some helpful hints… then again, he can get some of those from Heloise.

– Cereal: The Bar AND Cafe! [via Made of Brawnsteeeen]

– ESPN: The Phone Service!

– Spaceballs: The Flamethrower!

– Is any Martini really worth $10,000? Or how bout any hooker? I meant snooker table.

– Add lava lamps to the growing list of unusual murderererers.

– Will this be The Breast Christmas Ever? I dunno, will it?

– The top 10 words of the year based on searches of Merriam-Webster Web sites be: 1. blog 2. incumbent 3. electoral 4. insurgent 5. hurricane 6. cicada 7. peloton 8. partisan 9. sovereignty and 10. defenestration. What? No love for heteroflexible or mobnoxious? [via Fleaski]

And here are three fine job ops for you…

– Wanna be the next member of the Gorillaz? Click here for more info.

– Wanna be that guy/girl who replaces that hot chick from Jeopardy!’s Clue Crew? Click here.

– Wanna be my bitch intern? Email me here.