O Say Can We OCSome Girl On GirlStizz Already Or What?
28. Jan, 2005 
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– Well, what can I say, cept I had the 3rd largest reported case of blue balls known to man last night waiting AND waiting for Mischa Mishka and poorman’s Jenna Jameson to do something to each other’s firm and deliscumptious bodies. Instead, we got an overdose of that dreck noise people call Interpol, an almost reunion of Seth & Summer (oh how grand!), Caleb being a cold hearted snake (don’t u dare look into his eyes!), and a well deserved week off from Julie Cooper’s antics. Alas, it looks like next week’s the one to watch, or will it be the one after that? Anywho, the pic above is from some future ep, so hand-holding is guranteed. Next step would be fingerbanging, then carpet munching, and finally, eggschanging friendship bracelets. That leaves plenty of time for you all to go and buy some Kleenex and Jergens. In the greenwichmeantime, if yer love jonesing for some Barton lezzie hisaction, peep this, which may result in some semi-(evan rachel)-wood. And if that doesn’t do if for you, how bout czeching her out as the spokeshottie for, get this, Keds shoes! [girl on girl action via PradaShopNYC]
– Think my movie reviews are unintelligle? Boviously u haven’t been reading Bandwagon Boy. Here’s a slither from his Sideways review, ‘Anyways the whole movie is just them going around drinking whine like girls and compaining! If I want to hear complaining I will stay home and the old ballandchain will do it all night and it wont cost me allmost twenty gotdamn dollers PLUS popcorn and jewjewbeats!‘
– ‘I couldn’t bend in the way you’re meant to bend‘ reveals Keira Knightley about why even after taking lap dancing lessons, she juss couldn’t buddy hacket.
– Cream to reform for 4 shows only this May in London. Tix go on sale Monday.
– Interpol & Muse for Coachella? [via the board of ed]
– And for all you smelly or not smelly neo hippies out there, rejoice in the fact that Trey Anastasio, Benevento/Russo Duo feat. Mike Gordon, Mouse On Mars, Old Crow Medicine Show, and Tea Leaf Green have been added to Bonzooroo, TN.
– Can’t wait til May or just don’t care anymore like me? Then go ahead and read the title crawl from Star Wars: Ep III.
– Do you think Tom Welling (some say the world’s greatest living actor) has the power to save Remy Zero? Not likely, the band decided to peace the fork out for good. [via ONTD]
– Why do I sneeze after every orgasm? Once again, Cecil explains it all.
– These aren’t your padre’s dildos, but maybe your nun’s. [via Tr3nt Lotts]
– And which US President recently had ‘a mustache ride from a meth-fueled John Stossel‘ and hopes that you’alls will shove his ‘Magna Carta up your motally moo ooh-jah boo radley roo‘? Why none other than newly inaugurated Baron von Peabs. This is what is sounds like when duhvs cry.
– Have a grrrrrrrrrreat weekend kiddies and don’t forget to play yer mos flavorite Friday game…
