Second Cummings
20. Jan, 2005 
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– I’m happy to report that it looks like things are getting back to normal in Thailand… like teaching their elephants to paint, dance, play musical instruments, and of course, take dumps like you and mies van der Rohe. What’s left to teach them? The courtesy flush? [via Guns n’ Rosenthal]
– Guess where I’ll be May 22nd? At GW’s graduation to hear commencement speaker Andy Rooney. Great idea Colonials. He’ll really inspire them kids to do great things, like hate paper clips and they way people drive.
– Guess where I won’t be ever? Lil Kim’s clam bake. Microwaved tunafish nastinessness!!! [totally NSFWness via Pink Parts]
– Move over BK, cause this woman’s vagina is the real home of the whopper.
– Happy belated b-day to Mumsy ThighMaster (don’t worry, I called her yesterday). And a merry 35th b-day to Skeet Ulrich. The coolest thing about u is when Chris Rock introduced Johnny Depp as ‘a richman’s Skeet Ulrich‘.
– In the Gawd Help Us All department… David Brent signs on for Mission Impossible III, there’s gonna be a Spaceballs: The Cartoon, and a pastability of Taxi Driver II!?!?! Yuckerkarkq^iab#h$yikes!! Lettuce all pray they aint thinking about making Taxi II. [2nd link via Brad Foreskin and 3rd via The Fid Diddler]
– I love that I’m huge in Norway and StereoScizzle is bigger there than Jesus AND IMDB!!
– Is Kaylee DeFer the new Jessica Alba? I dunno, maybe we’ll need a rear view like this before making such a call.
– Todd Phillips apparently left the Borat movie because he’s a patriotic pu$$y.
– Chewbacca and Princess Leia, like you’ve never seen them before.
– Few things beat the whole burning sensation one’s testes acquire after teabagging Bilbo Baggins with some eggnog raggin flaggins. Is it safe to say that Peabs is our generation’s ee cummingsonmyface? Bozzle!
– Ooops, I did it again. But this time it was my stalking of the other Spears, J-L stizz, that put me behind bars. Damn you Trent and all your fingers that be firmly on the pulse.
– Finally, Mischa who?
UPDATE: Fiery Furnaces are a GO for Coachella!! For the love of funnel cakes, please don’t place them in a smelly tent!!
