If At First You Don’t Succeed, Fail, Fail Again
10. Feb, 2005 
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– FIELD DAY 2005 is the new FAILED DAY 2003!!! AKA, that shiz aint happening this summer, but maybe next. So what have we learned? Andrew ‘Durstkin’ Dreskin is filled with more lies than Donald Rumsfeld’s dingleberries. Shame on you Andy!! I mean, how much longer should we stay tuned?
– Bree Van De Kamp/Marcia Cross denies being a carpet
– Anyone want to make a gentleman’s wager that Die Hard 4 won’t hold a grenade launcher to Ben Stiller’s Die Hard 12: Die Hungry [vid]?
– Dakota Fanning to vomit pea soup? They could make a film of her napping and I’d still see it opening weekend!
– BRIT bits.
– The Hives clean up at the Swedish Grammys. I also hear that the Swedish Meatball won the Best Ball of Meat Award earlier this week.
– Hilary Muff to park the car at Harvard yard.
– What do ‘a double-sided dildo made out of smoked Gouda’, ‘a dentureless Jessica Tandy’, and the beloved children’s book Sweet Pickles all have in common? They’re just some of the many topics covered in our President’s weekly web address.
– Speaking of Sweet Pickles, this is the greatest title of all time:
– The BAFTAs (no, not NAFTA’s cousin) will air on BBCAmerica this Sat @ 9pm. Too bad my eyes will be glued to the Twerps v Duke game.
– Whats gots more buzz than an Arcade Fire pajama party? The long-awaited DVD release of what has been called one of the greatestist space western musicals of our time: The American Astronaut. [via Brad Foreskin]
– Congforkulations to The Gay Master for becoming this week’s guest blizogger over at F.U.B.A.R..
– Melissa Gilbert lets her nip sag at SAG awards. Who’s next, Sara Gilbert? Or how about Mr Grape and whatever’s eating him? [via Socialismlite]
– Japanese Happy Meal Toys
– If you have a kid (then please stop reading this site) and want him to be the coolest kid in the world, bid on this pair of Freezy Freakies or take em to BK for some hot Activision action (not to be confused with Elevator Action). [Bitties in the BK hottieness via Tony’s CPU]
– Semi-NSFW Animated Gif of a Transformer Molesting A Boy [via Newbsy]
– After peeping the quaint movie Rory O’Shea Was Here, I muss declare that Romola Garai is my newestest, mos flavoritest NonUsHottie of the moment. I want her to touch my lucky charms and rub it all nice til it becomes an Irish Spring. I heart her so much that I may actually watch Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.
