I’ll Huffington & Puffington& Blow Yer Blog Down!

• Tell me dear Thighlanders, what would you dan rather read, this SuperCrapolaCelebBlog or a Voltron-esque one where Pinky, The Fiddler, The BlogFather, Stereogizzle, and myself all joined forces? That’s like 37 chambers of death son!

• Speaking of hot pics of me and maize, you’alls think I forgot about the CornMe Photoshop contest? FORK no bizatches! I’ve juss been waiting for some quality submissions, not the crap on the stick I’ve been gettin. So don’t hesitate, and send em NOW! [Note: some of the submishuns have been franztastic, but i juss want MORE!!]

• Speaking of umcredible photoshopping, the Fark Crew tackle possible promo posters for Star Wars: TV [via 1.21 Gigabestest]

• Hopefully this will put an end to those Renee ‘Pufferfish’ Smellweger & Jack White rumors. But what will the world do now that Orlando Boo has moved on after Lois Lame?

• I really lovin this Mischa Keds campaign. First there was the jungle fever, and now they got her in pink panties drinking milk. I dunno what that has to do with cruddy shoes, but GAWD I love boney women with strong bones whom I’d love to bone. BONE HOME baby from this bonhomme!! And do you think it’s the ape’s or my fault that her and Brandon are on their way to splitsville?

• Besides Freddy Got Fingered, anything Tom Green does is genius. Here’s hoping that trend continues with his rejuvenated rap career.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger does not want to destroy the moon. He really juss wants to get his a$$ to Mars. [last link NSFW]

• Franz fanz demandz the return of Alex’es hair.

• Portman to join Sinead O’ in a remake of Alien3?

• Hey, it beats pin the tail on the South Korean, doesn’t it?

• Didn’t realize that the new NIN was THAT good! [via Metafilts]

• I blame Sydney Pollack. I blame Jackson Pollock.

• Eels with strings!

• BRMC to return, but will anyone care? Maybe the should add a ‘The’ to their name.

• Keira Knightley’s butt was out of shape.

• Peace le fork out to the co-writer of Dumbo’s LSD trip.

• I guess he was sick of using DrivingMrsDaisy.com

• Download away! [via Maple Leafer]

• All Eyes On Jennifer Wilbanks

• Is this Dr Phil’s attempt at winking or juss saying ‘yes’ to Pat O’?

• Utz, when will u let me design your shirts!!

• CrochetMyCrotch.com [via Zach de la Roachclip]

• no coffee

• A Timeline of Confectionery [via House of Whacker]

• Sonic the H-hog heaven [via Justin Case]

• Clouds that look like things

• Toss-up, which smells wursterer: microwaved tuna fish covered in sulfur or this 2,000 year old shoe?

• Go Bonzo on dem drums!

• Vibrator For Children [via Brawny-Steen-Stein]

• Cuthbest’s next joint, Captivity, will be the greatestist Roland Joffe movie MT EVEREST (well, maybe 2nd to The Killing Fields)! At least someone knows talent when they see it… unlike the d-bags over at Maxim. Apparently the lad mag couldn’t squeeze HRT the II into der busted-arsed list of the Top Hot 100. WaaaaaaaaaHUUUTT!!?!? Sure Beaut Barfon made an appearance, but dat doesn’t make up for this blovious omission. I mean, on what planet do u have to hail from to think Mena ‘Surfin’ Suvari is attractive? Probably the same rock that her conehead head people be from. TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER Maxim crackheadz cause I wanna smack you’alls in the face. Plus, there’s only on Maxim in my book and that’s George Fortescu Maximillian ‘Maxim’ de Winter of Rebecca fame.

[via JJ]