Three Men & My Lil Lady

• HE DID IT!! Brad Rutter, a 27 year-old from Amishville, PA, beat the living fork outta Stormin Mormon Jennings AND that child molestin’ looking guy, and pocketed $2 milliones in the process! But how could I care about such green apple splatters and matters when my dearest Pammy Poo walked away wit nuttin cept the admiration of bloggers everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean right here! Oh well brainiac baby-tasty-cakes, at least we can still sit by the fire and read the almanac, Encyclopedia Britannica, and play Trivial Pursuit. When we get bored with all that learning stuff, we’ll throw on the 1st ever Jeopardy! DVD, rock some of dat A-B repeat action of 80s Alex, avec mustache-a-zoid & sniper glasses, pronouncing some cockyamammy word like ‘mummenschanz‘, while we rub coco butter all over ourselfz til dawn.

We interrupt this Jeopardy! wet daily dream double fantasy for the usual crap I think you nia peoples like…

• Looks like this whole Cuthy and me thang aint gonna work out cause she finds tattoos attractive on men, and I will NEVER ever get one. EVER! Wait, this is Cuthbest I’m talkin bout here. I’d let her spit mircowaved tuna fish into my mouth for shying out proud! OK, maybe I can be convincevaughned into getting ‘Wino Forever‘ on my arm!

• Call him Ismail… Merchant, but whatevski u do, don’t call him, cause HE DIE! Stick a spork in em, he’s peaced out!! And wherever u may be IM, I hope they gave you a room, with a VIEW!!! Is this Howard’s End? NO, it’s your end Merchie!!

• Harry Pothead secrets leaked leakier than the Leaky Cauldron? [via UMC]

• W(h)ATTS?!?!?!?!

• Shitney’s show may get axed cause nobody cares. Shitney who? Don’t dare tell Trent Is The New Messiah!

• Get over yoself Cpt Boring the I! Yous guys are juss a 6th rate Travis, but somehow became more popular than them. And what’s a wonderwall anyway?

• For once, Sly & I see eye to eye of the tiger.

• Damon needs graham crackers, er, um, uh, Graham! And don’t 4get: @ 1pm Damon, Jamie, and Dangermouse of the G-Rizlas will be stopping by the Union Sq Virgin Megastore. Apparently, they’ll be answering questions, signing copies of “Demon Days,” and playing tracks and vid from the album. YUMMY!

• I juss hope that Colin ‘Ricky’ Powell doesn’t have to lie to the UN about his beloved Natties!

• Even though 60 Minutes II is going the way of The Mullets, I still have to ask for the 4,693894,315663,166278,9,90 time, how is Steve Hartman considered television personality?

• The day I’ve been yearnin n’ burnin for since Thighs Wide Day One has frynally arrived: I’ve had the distinct honor of being added to Ms Modern Age’s blog roll (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, blog ROLL!!)!!! And if you didn’t already know, she was one of my main inspirations and perspirations (besides Jesus, and his blog) for gettin started in da 1st place. Bless you and your awesome-o-licious ways. And whatever you do, don’t TEMP us like you did before!

• Da Da Vinci Code da official WEBSITE!

• Looking to get yer beloved Thigh Mizzle a gift-flizze for Lag B’Omer? See pic on right of two kids wit same name.

• While Peabs is on permanent flobvscation, I’ve turned to Bandwagon Boy for all my politics and prose, and American Idle tidbits!

• Not a big sirprize that the Japanese poster for War of the Worlds features a lil girl in the arms of an older man… which is eggzactly what those freaky bastards love about their hentai porn [NSFPlanet Earth]. And these people think they’re in the ‘Cool Biz’, HA!

• Sorry lizadies, but this is even mo proof why being a man rox the buttox!

• Fresca: The Next Generation [via Sugar, Mr Poon?, which is still, the greatest blog name of malls thyme]

• If Tootsie Roll Industries own Blow Pops (which I never knew), why are they bothering to introduce three new Blow Popesque flavors to their Tootsie Pop line? Whatever u doski, juss don’t ask Mr. Owl!!

• A brief study of Ewan McGregor’s uncle Wedge, sitting in cockpits.

• Do you really care to see a Paris semi-nip slip? [via D’s D]

• Marlon Brando’s GrandDAUGHTER!?!

• Mashups dujor [via the Veeg]

• Own one of the finest Cliff Engle sweaters around… cause I’m too portly to bid on it :(

• I can’t splain why I’ve reported so much Lohag fizz these days, maybe cause I keep reading recockulous things like her possibly starring in a Barbarella remake, but anywayz, I just had a revelation: everyone’s been comparing her to Ann-Margret, but how come no mention of her looking zactly like to Vicki Stubing/the girl from Airplane! who needed a heart?