Artsy Fare For Fartsy People

Me and You and Everyone We Know
Bo May Know Diddley
But You Don’t Know Jack… About This Movie
View Trailer

Him Her And All These People We Shazzle is not for everyone (meaning Death Cab For Cutie and Metallica fans), but it was mos certainly for me. It’s hard to describe why I heart this movie so much, since it was Napoleonic Dynamited devoid of a fluid story structure, and was kinda quirky for the sake of being quirky, but it spoke to me in a way that most movies these days, even chez ghetto independent ones, can’t. It was kinda like water for chocolate wandering through a dream that doesn’t have much rhyme or reason, but it all makes such perfect sense. Sorry if that doesn’t make perfect sense to you. Anylays, Me and You is one of dem ensemble pieces, where the characters are all related in sum sorta unrelated related way, like on The OC, cept with a much crisper dialog, or any of that pretentious Robert Altman or PT Anderson bullshednessnees (aka, its not 3 hours of painful fulpainness). All the credit goes to first time director and lead actress Miranda July. She’s like that chick in yer 8th grade art class whom you’d never think about railing against a wall cause she looks like she eats tunafish all day long, but come high school, she’s still a basket case, but juss a wee bit more sexier that you’d totally take her to a 10,000 Maniacs concert and double fist her til Miranda December. I’m gonna keep my eye on her and you should too, cause this here flizz is a Muss C… if you happen to not like Ben Gibbard or Lars Ulrich, snatchurally.

Recommended for those who like: poop humor (not to be confused with toilet/Frat Pack humor), Nam June Paik, and goldfishes in a bag.

Possible Porno Name: Me, You, And Everyone Else Who Boned Your Mother

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix the Talking Heads’ flick True Stories, or better yet, juss eric plunk down some cashies and buy the soundtrack too!

Broken Flowers
Sizzlin In The Deadpan
View Trailer

Tissit juss me or is the plot of this flick the reverse of A Life Crapareffic with Steve Zissou? In Zissou, Murray may or may not have fathered an illegitimate son, who one day shows up on his doorstep (or is it plank?), which then gives new meaning to his otherwise dreary eggsistance. In Flowers, Murray learns that he may or may not have fathered an illegitimate son, and goes on a search to find him, which may or may not give new meaning to his otherwise dreary eggsistance. Either way, this journey is much more mary worth partaking in than Wes Anderson’s first ever disappointment. In Flowers Murray is an aging Don Juan named Don Johnston. You think it sounds similar to Don Johnson, right? Well so do a bunch of the characters he meets along the way, for our amusement, not his. Anywho, the flick plays out like a bunch of mini-stories, with Murray reuniting with some of his past flames who may or may not have fathered his son. Each segment contains their own juicy morsels of enjoyment, but as a whole it doesn’t register the emotional impact that J Jarmusch was aiming for. Nonetheless, this is mos def worth some peepage, hispecially if yer a fan of Murray’s work as of late. But don’t think that this is The Bill Murray show, although he is in every frame of the movie, cause the brother is supported by one of the strongest casts I’ve seen in ages (yes, even better than Sin City): Jeffery Wright (who should be in EVERY movie if I had my way), Tilda Swinton (barely recognizable), Sharon Stone (back to form… as a flighty ho-bag), Ruth Fisher (in Ruth Fisher mode… depressed… and married to Shooter MacGavin), Jessica Lange (a middle-class man’s Meryl Streep), and Julie Delpy (who I’d love to FRENCH kiss while drinking Perrier). Sad they didn’t cast his Coffee and Cigarettes pals the RZA and the GZA, cause that woulda be even more magical.

Recommended for those who like: seeing this girl a bit more growns up AND nekkid, Mapquest, and Bill Murray’s real son, Homer.

Possible Porno Name: Broken Penis & The Deflowered Whorebitches

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Roxanne