Chris Columbus Day (Observed)

Is it juss me, or is it hapsolutley recockulous that we set a side one day each year to celebrate the talents of movie director/writer Chris Columbus? Don’t spank me wrong, the man has warrick dunn some good in the past, but from the early 90s on, he’s been more worthy of crucifixion, than adulation for screen fiction. The first 2 Harry Potters? Poo/boo/snoozefests to the Zth degree. Bicentennial Man? Could there be a worser call than having Robin Williams play a robot gayer than all the gay robots combined? The list doesn’t really go on and on, but I’m not really jumping and jazzing all over meself for his next joints, like the one named after a Pavement album or this one, which has the schmaltzyiest plotline, described as a, “about a temperamental head coach who ends up adopting a kid. By becoming a father, he learns to be a better man and a better coach and he takes his team to the Super Bowl.” Dear Gov-mint. Please repeal this holiday and instead bestow the honor of a day off of work for a more worthy director, say, Savage Steve Holland, of Better of Dead, One Crazy Summer, and Shasta McNasty fame. Howevs, if you peeps MUSS revel in all thing C Columbus, may I recommend you spend this day with some of his finest works like…

• There is something seriously wrong with Brooke Shields’ mother. I can’t fathom how anyone would ever let their 12-year old daughter star in Pretty Baby, the controversial Louis Malle flick about a daughter of a brothel prostitute who has her virginity sold to the highest bidder, and later marries a man maybe 3 times her age. That may not sound so bad, but B Shields’ prepubescent assets are fully on display numerous times. YIIIIIIIIIIIKES!!! I felt so dirty watching it that I had to shower 17 times afterwerds. [NSFW proof, for you dirty dirty p-philes]

• Amy Ruth’s on 116th St has the mos bestest southern/soul food that one can find in Manhattan. Do yerself, but not yer arteries, a favor and get yer fried chicken smothered in gravy, next to a giant waffle loaded with cinnamon, ‘nanas, and pecans. The title heart attack hotness was previously held by Miss Mamie’s Spoonbread Too. Next on the list, Sylvia’s. [CityShirt]

• The Redskins may not be going 16-0, but will probably finish 15-1. OK, that may be a bet far-fetched, but they are actually a legit squad [WaPo]

• tATu may be faux lezzies (and faux tanners), but faux lezzies, are still better than no lezzies at all [Spencer 4 Mire]

• My mom may be the world’s biggest Hedwig & The Angry Inch fan. So much so, that her and pa came up this past Saturday to see mastermind John Cameron Mitchell introduce the film for all of 5 minutes at the MOMA. Bless you momoosky. And for that lets spread the love. [d-lode the bestest song ‘Wig In A Box’, or the Pirate version]

• Trainspotting helped Sinbad O’Connor realize that hard drugs and babies climbing on the ceiling are not good things [IOL]

• Earnest Byner exercising makes a good animated gif [Speed Fit]

• William Fichtner and his 4 by forehead looking fabulous in What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

• Tennis scoring is rooted in medieval numerology [Straight Dizzle]

• There’s a chance none of us have to pay to see Keira ‘I beat off to you’ Knightley in Pride & Snoozefest [EW free screening]

and although Elisha still may be the Cuthbestiest ’round