GNR Lies Truths

16. May, 2006 1 Comment

Guns N’ Roses
Hammerstein Ballroom
May 15th, 2006

In today’s world where Queen, INXS, the Cars, and the Doors tour without their centerpiece vocalists, it’s quite welcoming to see a band tour with the opposite DNA, aka, its original singer in tact, sans the supporting playas. Don’t spank me wrong, I love Slash and Duff McKegs like it was nobody’s bidness (it isn’t your bidness), but would I ever care to see a Velvet Revolver show juss cause they is members? Like Mr Poon and sugar in the same room, no never, never! And thus, whatever the cosmetics of Guns N Roses is today doesn’t make one bit o honey or difference to mes as shlong as Axl W Rose is involved (think our generation’s kinda sorta post-Waters Pink Floyd). Last nite, for 2 and 1/2 hiz-ours, I partied like it was 1992, and I rocked more than Iraned and although the faces may have changed, the song effin remained the same. Read: franzforkintastic!!! Bless you AWR (even if you love yerself more than I love myself) and co, who did quite an admirable job filling in the huge empty shoes… although I don’t understand why they didn’t play ‘Don’t Cry’ [d], which is by far, the bestest GNR song in their arsenal asshole. It’s waz almost a bigger let down then when i saw Duran² for the second time and they din’t play ‘Hungry Like The Wolf’. But after all’s said and Warrick Dunn, last nite’s show was probably the best $75 I’ve spent in a long arsed time, besides that 80s Astros jersey thats soon coming to my door. Here’s a rundown of what I got for my two cents (times 3,750):

Lizadies on guy’s shoulders: 8+
Hot arsed honey rockin out on the third-level balcony: 1
Songs I thought were called ‘Chinese Democracy’ cause I didn’t know em: 4+
Pointless solos not involving Axl: 5+
Brazilian flags: 1
Hexplosions: 6+
Sebastian Bach duets: 1
References to Izzy Stradlin: 2
Amount of Mythos beers downed before hand: 1
Random run-in with one of the flyest girls I knew in college: 1
Metallica/GNR ’92 tour shirts: 2+
Bo Derek cornrow impersonators: 1 (Axl and that dreadful hair that no white person should be allowed to sport)
Exposed boobs: ZIPPO… BOO-URNS!!
Times I was wondering what Miles Papazian was up to: 3814866267