For One Night I WasSuperintendent ChalmersFor I Was Screaming’Skinner!!!’ Ad Infinitum

28. Jun, 2006 0 Comments

The Streets
+ Lady Sovereign
Webster Hall
June 27, 2006

[foto stolen from The High 5 Queen]
Why do I even bother writing concert reviews when it seems like Maude Dern and Susic Mobbery are in attendance at every one I go to (which isn’t that high of a number, since eating is my #1 extracurricular activity). I’m not going to complain, cause they both boviously have great taste in music and both have thighs worthy of humping. Plus they both bring cameras so I don’t have to, cause mine sux anywayzyz. The gist of all this? Just read Ms and Mr‘s sites daily and you’ll soon be the coolest cat since MC Skat Kat

Anywayz, enuff of the praise, and more about my malaise of writing concert reviews. I mean, what can one really say about show after show? Did it rock? Did I shvitz more than David Berkowitz? Was I more wasted than Robert Downey Jr in Less Than Zero? Balls the above, and then some, and then some more, and a bag of chips, and then some bags of Utz.

Although things didn’t start off well when everyone’s flavorite UK tongue twistin midget took to the stage. Poor Lady Sov. First off, as many of you know, American audiences are the brat wurstest. They don’t respond to what’s going on on stage unless the artist prompts them too (unless of course we’re talking about Radiohead cause if they popped popcorn on stage for 7 hours straight, people would still tear off their clothes and scream like Wilhelm), and the Yanks weren’t givin the Lady any love. It didn’t help that Lady Sov’s ear pretty much hexploded while performing. She was visibly upset and kept complaining about it. I mean, she is a girl. But although Webster Hall’s sound blows, she doesn’t. I hope her ear recovers and she rox the Nikki Cox when I see here at Lolla in August. And even though she has the body of a 12 year old boy, there’s something hextremely sexy about her and I wish I was Zach, but I guess I was too slow to take action

As for my main maine mayne man Mike Skinner, dude is on a forkin roll. In my mumble opinion, at this point in time (at least until Air’s next album is released), The Streets are the best act in the world. I know that sounds crazier than a basement in the Alamo, since he’s juss a dirty chav who talks about shit-in-a-tray merchants, but I really do bee leave that. I’d do anything for him. Even clean his trainers (dem be what is known as ‘sneakers’ in our lame country) with my tongue. I’d even take a bullet for him (as well as the BlogFather). Although I’d probably rather protect him from people throwing trainers at him. Huh? Whatevs. Dude, Skinner and his live band, including his eggsalad singing partner, put on a top notch show with show stoppin tunes that notch tops!!! It also didn’t hurt that he force fed the audience liquor, made us squat on the ground on 3 given occasions, and kept mentioning how he’s gonna run in the NY Marathon (I better start training too if i want run wit him and give him endless HJs).

Please tell me you own all three of his albums. They are more magical than David Blaine humming the Cars’ ‘Magic’ while doin some Presto Magix underwater for a week. If yer missin the boat, it’s never too late to climb aboard. I’ll make sure Isaac is there to greet you wit a smile, and some marlon (that’s Skinner for ‘brandy’)