Long Overdue Books

Art School Confidential
Good or Bad? Too Clowes To Call!
Trailer

You means to tell me that this basic milk dud of a movie came from the same very minds (Zwigoff & Clowes, which would make for the wurstest monikered law firm) that brought us the mos delicious Ghost World? It would seem more apt if this came from the minds that brought us Good Burger, or better yet, Hamburger: The Motion Picture [trailer]!! It really isn’t a total Amtrak train wreck, or even as big a wreck as Amtrak’s financials, but we the Zwigclowesians eggspect more, not bore! And since the closest any of us ever got to an art school was Claire Fisher‘s misadventures in gayville, you’d figure we’d be treated with the ultimate insider’s view, given the filmmakers’ pedigree, but NOOOOOOOO, all we get are flimsy stereotypes that any one of us coulda conjured up. Am I watching Art School Confidential or am I watching a semi-smarter Van Wilder, that happens to co-star Malkovich and my boy of boys, Jimmy Broadbent? I’ll stop there before I drop a ref to Hot Dog… The Movie, but at least Sophia Myles’ breasts were displayed… for art’s sake

[Abs Sop My]

Possible Porno Name: Hard Tool Cons The Dental Dam

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Real Genius [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘I Can See For (Sophia) Miles’ by Boris Laborde [d from BL.com]

IMDb Sweeney: Finneus Egan played the ‘vegan’

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

District B13
aka Banlieue 13
Gerry-Meandering
Trailer

Ahlot like the beyond mediocre-domed Ronin, cept the thumcredible car chase in the middle is replaced by a toecredible rooftop chase scene in the beginning. And the rest, Merde A La Puissance Treize [fish that babble, ya know you want to]!

Recommended for those who like: Luc Besson’s recent ‘writing’, Luc Besson’s recent ‘producing’, and the man who basically begat the Queen Lequeefah/Jimmy Buffoon debacle known as Taxi

Possible Porno Name: Dis Dick B 13 Inches

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix The Running Man [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Papa t’es plus dans l’coup’ by Ludivine Sagnier [d], cause I’d rather think of her, nekkid [NSFW], then think about anything else French, besides French’s mustard

IMDb Sweeney: HA! Cyril Raffaelli, who’s one of the ‘stars’, did uncredited stunts for… RONIN!

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Very Little Merit But Plenty of Merde

until next time, the balcony is clothed…