Wig-ity Wack

Marie Antoinette
Let Them Eat Cake Make Mistake
Trailers

I was probably the only person on earth who wasn’t heels over head in love with Sofia Coppola’s meandering Lost In Translation. It was good, but far from great, and far from Grape Ape. The girl’s mos def got a flair for visiual style and can pick a soundtrack better than Zach Braff or any Braff for that matter, but her storytelling leaves much to be desired. After winning an Oscar for Lost, Ms Coppola has cashed in her ‘get out of jail free‘ card (much like Gus van Sant, who followed his winning Finding Forrester with the losing Psycho remake) with her anachronistic trifle Marie Antoinette.

While I golf clap her attempt to mix modern (New Wave music, Chuck Taylors, American accents) with classic, I bitch slap her for not being able to make it work. The mod bits don’t add anything to the film, but do add up to be one giant mistake. Marie really coulda been something exquisite, but slain and pimple, is a giant waste of celluloid, and sirprizingly very zzzzzzzz inducing. Trying something different is one thing, but not even trying when you’re trying too hard to do something different is another thing all together, hispecially when you have a brilliant cast (Dunst and Schwatzman shine like Mop & Glo^®) and the bestest shooting location that money could never buy (the freakin real deal Versailles) at yer disposal. Public, on yer behalf I declare the honeymoon with this Coppola over. Now its time to give brother Roman another shot. I mean, CQ wasn’t the greatest, nor even the Grape Apest, but its soundtrack is way cooler than anything Sofia could dream up. LET SOFIA EAT POOP!!!

Unsatisfied with this?: Netflix Kube’s second 2 none period piece Barry Lyndon [trailers | TWS.org review]

Possible Porno Name: Hairy Cunt I Pecked

Nepotismizms: co-starring Asia ‘Dario’ Argento, Katrine ‘John’ Boorman, Io ‘Sam’ Bottoms, Jason ‘Talia Shire’ Schwartzman, Mary ‘Bill’ Nighy, and Danny ‘John’ Huston

Apt MPupil3: since pointless modern music was the name of the game, why didn’t Copp throw co-star Marianne Faithfull’s versh [vid] of the Stones’ ‘As Tears Go By‘ [d] a bone?

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit, But Mos Certainly No Stinkin Badgers

until next thyme, the balcony is clothed…