Must Flee TV

I’m no expert on television but I have serious doubts that anyone really watches some of those highly touted big network shows that always top the Nielsen ratings. With the interwebs, the Wii, and masturbation back in fashion, who has time to watch this shit? I don’t, and dat’s why I limit what I watch to things that are good. But am I missing something? Do you folks watch any of this poop on a stick? Here’s my take on dem shows w/o ever watching a second of any of dem…

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Cold Case/Criminal Minds/Numb3rs – are th3s3 thr33 shows the sam3 thing? I know th3 last on3 has som3thing to do with numb3rs AND David Krumholz, but what about the oth3r two? Th3y look about as 3xciting as H3br3w School! If Mandy Patinkin do3sn’t have a mustach3 and isn’t chall3nging a man in black th3n why should I car3?

The other CSIs – besides the one with the whore from China Beach and that dude from Manhunter, I don’t buy for a second that anyone watches the spin-offs. Miami sounds like a fun place, but not when that David Caruso dude is runnin around it spewin one-liners. As for the NY one, I bet they film maybe 1% of every episode in the city. Where do they do the film rest, My Anus? Sorry, I meant YOUR anus!

NCIS – is this a CSI show with dyslexia? Or is this the Presidio sans the ‘talents’ of Sean Connery

Shark – was this the only show with a movie star attached to it that wasn’t cancelled? If they wanna reel me in they better do something gimmicky like Shark: 3-D

Medium – I can’t figure out what’s more painful, listening to Patricia Arquette talk or looking at her mangled teeth that make Toni Collette look like the poster child for Crest toothpaste

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Bones – I gotta winner for ya, Zooey’s fugly sister and Buffy’s Angel do stuff!! What stuff, I have no idea. Maybe they’re digging for the secret ingredients of Oreo Double Stuf cookies. No BONES about it, if this came on my TV, I’d be forced to change des-chanel!

ER – who the f$ck still watches this show? I never ever did. I hate shows about hospitals. The only one I ever watched was Doogie Howser and that’s only cause he was the forefather of blogging. I do sweat Maura Tierney (sorta the OG Pam Beasley), but sister, tits time to look for some other work. If that doesn’t come thru, I pay a nickle per mustache ride

Ugly Betty – there’s something seriously wrong with shallow America when this succeeds and Chicks With Huge Boobs: The Show doesn’t even get picked up by a network

Any Sitcom That’s Not The Office or 30 Rock – I like My Name Is Earl, but I wouldn’t say that it was funny. The OC is laughable, but it’s not suppose to be. And everything else? What, juss cause George Lopez is a minority that makes his show funny? Hopefully the nets will take a cue from dem NBC besterpieces and create sitcoms that are actually funny. Know how you can usually tell if they will be or not? They ones that work don’t have laff-tracks. Don’t bee leave me, then just ask Andy Millman about his broad comedy When The Whistle Blows. Are YOU having a laugh?

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and for anyone who cares, the 1st reality show I’ve taken to in a bong arsed thyme is The (White) Rapper Show. Serch it out and let it destroy yo brain cells