Cheeta Always Loses
14. Oct, 2008 
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Tarzan’s screen partner Cheeta (real name Jiggs) is alive and well at age 76 (actually a Guinness World Record holder for oldest living non-human primate ever), and has juss released his memoirs. He’s currently living the retired life in Palm Springs, painting, watching TV, occasionally getting to eat McDonalds, attending sex orgies with Don Draper, and yet he’s still without a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. There are a lot of crimes against humanity, but this is the single greatestest crime against (chimpan-A to) chimpanzees
