A Quantum Leap of Solace

The Boy In The Striped Pajamas
The Good German
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

There has been a zillion and half movies made about the Holocaust. Some are based on fact, some are fables, and a majority of them have a unique enuff tale to tell that makes them well worth seeing, even if we’ve grown a bit tired of seeing them these days. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is definitely one to see. This one’s not only unique cause it’s told through the naive eyes of a child, but a child that’s the son of a Nazi commander in charge of a nameless concentration camp. The film begins with the family moving from their comfortable Berlin life to the country, where the rest of story rolls out. The child, Bruno (Asa Butterfield), is bored to tears in his new quiet environment, being far removed from his friends and playing games. One day he peers out of his window and notices some farmers in ‘striped pajamas’ far off in the distance. He’s intrigued by them, and has no real idea what’s actually taking place. When he inquires about it, his father (the always sharp David Thewlis) and mother (Vera Farmiga, with those radiant scared blue eyes), who is also unaware of the monstrosities occurring near their house, tell him to keep away, but kids are curious and say and do the dardenst things. Bruno eventually makes his way towards the camp where he spots a the boy in ‘striped pajamas’ on the other side of a barbed-wire fence. He strikes up an unlikely friendship with the boy, named Shmuel (Jack Scanlon), and begins to inquire all about this ‘camp’ he gets to ‘play’ in. Bruno will never be able to fully comprehend the goings on, but he gradually starts to question the propaganda that’s being fed to him about Jews being bad people, since Shumel is a nice kid. Eventually it all comes to a horrifying conclusion that we’ll let you experience for yourself. Both of the child actors are simply incredible, considering the heavy material they’re tackling. We wonder if these young actors themselves fully understand this tragic period of human history. Then again, us adults are still wondering how such a thing could ever happen, and will continue to do so. Never forget, and this movie is unforgettable

Color Blind: one of the more fascinating art installations we’ve ever seen was Israeli artist Ram Katzir’s Your Coloring Book, which took actual Nazi propaganda photos, turned them into coloring book pages, and allowed the museum visitor to fill in the blanks

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Soul Men
They’ve Got Rain On A Sunshiny Day
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

In one of his final performances ever, Heath Ledger went out on top as the Joker in The Dark Knight. The same statement unfortunately cannot be said of Bernie Mac (especially since he never got to play the Joker) and his work in the sometimes fun, never really funny and udderly fruitless Soul Men. Actually, if you take a peek at Mac’s entire film career, he’s never been a part of a truly excellent movie (the one eggception would have to be Bad Santa), even if he was excellent in them (he was actually a better Bosley than Bill Murray was in the second Charlie’s Angels flick, which come to think of it, is another eggecption, cause it’s secretly the greatestest movie ever… by McG!). Tis quite a shame for a man of such talent to be in such poop (we’re not counting The Original Kings of Comedy, since it’s a doc), but whatta we gonna do about it now that he’s no longer with us? The film also serves as a swan song of sorts for Isaac Hayes, who died a day after Bernie, but his appearance as himself in Soul Men is merely a blip on Black Moses’ deep legacy of achievements. Now that we’ve gotzen the real-life depressing bits of the review out of the way, it’s time to breifly speak about the fictional depressing bits of this boos brothers affair. Pairing Mac with Samuel L Jackson as two bitter former bandmates who reunite to play a memorial concert at the Apollo after their lead singer dies (John Legend) was an inspired choice. On-screen, their chemistry is so solid that it looks like they’ve been brothers from another mother for years, so why then was this golden opportunity completely ruined by such contrived writing and elementary school humor? There were people LOLing throughout the screening, but maybe they were giving Bernie some sympathy laffs. That or they we’re juss happy they weren’t watching the certifiably rotten Soul Plane. It’s purty sad when the bestest ‘soul’ movie of balls thyme features C. Thomas Howell blackfacing it up in order to get into Harvard

The Leal Deal: we didn’t really take notice of her before as Jennifer Hudson’s replacement in Dreamgirls, but then again, we slept thru most of that overindulgent flick. we won’t make the same mistake again cause Sharon Leal is truly one of our dream girls!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Repo! The Genetic Opera
A Phantom Opera
Trailers & Mo |
target=”_blank”>Official Website

In the future, organs are scarce (as in body parts, not them instruments that make sweet sweet music), but thanks to GeneCo, organs can be yours, for the right price. If you don’t pay up, the repo man will come and take the organs back, and your life in the process, and apparently sing whilst doing all of this. If this was 1935, Mola Ram and his heart grabbin ways would be makin some serious cash, but it’s not, it is the future, and in movies the future always sucks more than your mom and there’s more neon than Deion Sanders reading The Neon Bible while listening to the album of the same name by The Arcade Fire. We’re big fans of dystopian flicks (not that you care), and to some extent rockin musicals (of the past, like Tommy), but weren’t so much a fan of Repo! The Genetic Opera, an eye and ear candy overload that tastes rather bitter and is hard to digest. Not for a lack of trying, cause this baby’s jolted with 1.21 gigawatts of energy and doles out some damn catchy tunes (czech out ‘Legal Assassin’ [d]), but it reeks way too much of underground theater, where this opera originated, and that’s probably where it shoulda stayed. Beyond game for a lil song and dance are Paul Sorvino, Anthony ‘where did the Stewart in his name disappear to?’ Head, Alexa Vega (who keeps shedding that baby fat and keeps on gettin hottier and hottier!), Sarah Brightman (fitting, since she was the first Christine Daaé in The Phantom of the Opera) and Paris Hilton, who can’t really sing or act, but she’s right at home playing an heiress with a plastic face that eventually falls off (one of the few highlights outside of the music). The film was directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, who’s perhaps best known as the helmer of Saw II thru IV. We didn’t see any of those and after watching Repo!, guess it wasn’t necessary to saw it either. Sorry for the grammar error, but we really wanted to work a ‘saw/seen’ joke in. Insert laughter here

Give Us More Head!!: Anthony ‘Stewart’ Head is the effin bomb shiz, and has such an yumcredible voice. You will already know this if you were a Buffy fan like us. One of our mos flavroite bits was when he, as Giles, crooned a cover of The Who’s ‘Behind Blue Eyes’ [d via Buffy Galaxy]

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Zack and Miri Make A Porno
Porn To Be Mild
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Who knew that importing Judd Apatow actors (Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, The Office‘s Darryl) into a non-Judd Apatow flick instantly turns your non-Judd Apatow flick starring Judd Apatow actors into a… Judd Apatow flick. Schlockmeister Kevin Smith’s latest diversion, Zack and Miri Make A Porno, is helped by this fact, but the question is, do you really want to see another Judd Apatow flick this year, or any year going forward? If the answer is yes, then you will enjoy the minor laffs, shoestring story and of course budding romance that always inhabits the land of Apatown. The next question is are you fan of Kevin Smith films? If you are, don’t worry, cause Z&M is filled with his usual potty-untrained humor (a face being pooped on!), band of brothers (Jason Mewes, Jeff Anderson, and Tom Savini, filling in for sorta look-a-like Brian O’Halloran, who musta been busy), fanboy geekdom (yet another Star Wars parody, who woulda thunk it!) and lackluster directing skills (a scene in slo-mo, WOOOW!). If the answer is no to both questions, juss pray, alongside us, that the next Edgar Wright flick gets released looner rather than sater

Porn To Pun: the bestest porn within a movie is hands and thighs down Logjammin‘ in The Big Lebowski

Verdictgo: we don’t normally do ratings that fall in between our four categories, but this one fits the bill, so No Stinkin Badges But Kinda Worth A Peepers?

Pajamas and Repo open in limited release, while Soul Men joins Zach & Miri everywhere today

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…