Abs-y Normal
07. Dec, 2009 
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Twilight Saga: New Moon
My So-Called Monster Squad
Trailers & Mo | Official Website
You got an instant lady’s take on New Moon and nows you gots a well belated one from yours drooly. WHOOPTY DOOOO! Well, we are not a womans, but we do enjoy hunky mens cause we is 1/18ths gays. Jacob is way hunkier than Edward and Jacob is way better for Bella than Edward, but who cares cause Bella isn’t worth anyone’s hunkiness. Her dad has a mustache so she probably has one too. Plus she always looks way too distraught, in a sorta Chloe from 24 meets Willie McGee I’m about to fart face, but maybe not as flatulent. The first movie was fun and the second one was not as. There was no crazy baseballs. There was also no nekkid Ashley Greene, but that was also a problem with the first movie. Michael Sheen did show up and wasn’t playing someone British for once and that was kinda neat, but we didn’t understand that whole bit about being in some Italian city with red cloaked people and then Dakota Fanning was there without her retarded dad Sam, and she wasn’t raped either and she’s old as sh%t and then like someone grabs Edward and throws him to the ground and stuff! OH NO!! Huh? Who cares! We don’t, but we care about Jacob. Bet he’s feeling really vulnerable right about now. Maybe if we fall down and hit our head he can tear off his shirt and wipe our fiveheads with it. JACOB!!!!!!!!!!!! we wants to climb your ladder AND your abs!!!!!!!!!!!! Haven’t read the books but guess that Jacob doesn’t win Bella’s heart so therefore the next two movies will blow, unless Ashley Greene gets nekkid and gets on top of a nekkid Jacob. Team Redskins!
Moon Patrol: although relatively new, peas never 5get Devin Hester’s full moon
Verdictgo: whatevs.net, but still Jeepers Worth A Peepers
New Moon is currently being eclipsed at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
