FBI’s Wide Open
15. Nov, 2011 
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J Edgar
Hoover? What? When? Where? And Sometimes Why?
Official Website |Â Trailers & Mo
R | 137 min
Don’t know what’s wrong with more than 1/2 of the critics who reviewed J Edgar.  Did they even see the same movie we saw?  Was there not enough J Edgar Hoover picking up the dirt (hoovering!) for them?  Did they find the quality Clint Eastwood direction directionless?  Was Leonardo DiCaprio‘s best work since What’s Eating Gilbert Grape not bestiful enuff for their boasteringing, despite the impossible task of playing someone he looks nothing like (which oddly enuff was what made The Aviator crash)?  Was Armie Hammer too handsome for them to clap their hands some?  Was the Dustin Lance Black script too straight without a chaser?  Were they pissed Naomi Watts didn’t give Judi Dench some carpet cleaning?  What’s yer problems, yo???
Seriously folks, J Edgar is a fine fine movie.  It takes a notorious and mysterious figure of 20th century American history and notoriousizeses him, while still keeping his enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a woman’s slip, and entertains us.  What more do you want?  We may not get a complete picture, but how do you make a complete picture of a man who ran a bureau of secrets, with a bureau filled with STILL unknown secrets????  You don’t, and even if this flick had early 90s Oliver Stone written all over it, Stone didn’t make it, and thank dog he didn’t today, cause he’s no longer up to the task, but Clint Eastwood is and he did it and he did it right (heck, there’s not a ton of gangstering goings on, but it’s a zillion times betterer than whatever Public Enemies was).  So, GET OFF MY LAWN!!!  and critics, GET OVER YER YAWNS!!!!!
moral of the story:Â Â we’re totally gay for J Edgar Hoover and this movie about him. Â He may have been misguided, but he got the job done, no matter what the costs were, and no matter how much make-up they had to cake onto Leo to make him look like old man Charles Foster Kane (see below below)
Creepy Ship Lollipop: J Edgar Hoover & Shirley Temple, a WTF relationship for the ages
Verdictgo: Breast In Show
J Edgar digs up the good dirt currently at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
