Aboriginal Unoriginal
20. Mar, 2013 
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The SapphiresÂ
It Can’t Help Itself – Sugary Pie Honey Too Much
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG 13 | 103 min
Oh wow, there was a real-life foursome of Aboriginal gals who were so good at singing, but unloved by Australian white folk that the girls took off for Vietnam to sing to US troops during the war!!!!  That one sentence, including the exclamation points, is about as excited as the movie wants you to be while watching it.  Well, if your idea of a movie is a shoestring plot with zero drama, barely strung together with Motown songs you already love, with some, for once, MUCH NEEDED comic relief from Chris O’Dowd (usually we need relief from him), then The The Sapphires is for you!!  The only time the movie gets real, and deep, and remotely moving is when title cards come up at the end to tell us about what became of the real women.  Too bad that everything that came before it was like drinking Velveeta thru a Pixy Stix stick.  OK, ok, sure, it’s impossible to truly hate on this sugary-sweet movie, but it’s OK to pass on it too, especially since you can do much better, like (re-)watching The Commitments, which is pretty much the same thing, cept with better filmmaking, acting, songs, humor, and Irish people (sorry Mr O’Dowd, but it’s true)
Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Sapphires don’ts exactly sparkle in limited release this FridayÂ
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
