X-Men: Apocalypse
Sophie Page Turner
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 144 min

Oh, hey – another superhero movie!  But ya know what?  I’ve come to the realization that out of ALL the superhero franchises in existence – I like the X-Men ones the most, and I’m not even really an X-Men kinda guy (my peeps are The New Teen Titans of the late 80s, early 90s).  I think I’ve liked or super-liked every single one of the X-Men movies, even the Brett Ratner one (but not really the solo Wolverine ones, which doesn’t make much sense as to why they aren’t so great, cause Hugh as Wolvie is SO great)

Well, this X-Men movie may not be perfect (Oscar Isaac‘s mummy resurrected bad guy was kinda cool, but the final battle vs him wasn’t so much), but I am on board with whatever this movie is.  Mainly cause…

they don’t let Olivia Munn talk! (she’s in an insult to actors everywhere who cannot get employed, while she is)

and Evan Peters as the super fast dude is STILL the fcuking BBBBBBBBBBBBBEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but more importantester than ANYTHING… 

Sophie Turner is sooooooo SUPER fine, in leather, and not in leather

(I’m a sucker for redheads, in leather, and not in leather)

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

X-Men is about to X-it theaters soon!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Paramount had organized a party for me [at Romanoff’s in Beverly Hills in 1957].  All of cinema was there, it was incredible. And then comes in Jayne Mansfield, the last one to come.  For me, that was when it got amazing.

She came right for my table.  She knew everyone was watching.  She sat down.  And now, she was barely… Listen.  Look at the picture.  Where are my eyes?  I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate.  In my face you can see the fear.  I’m so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table.

Many, many times I am given this photo to autograph it.  And I never do.  I don’t want to have anything to do with that.  And also out of respect for Jayne Mansfield because she’s not with us anymore

–Sophia Loren

Fast Times At Ridgemont High schoolers Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates

photos by Douglas Kirkland, August 1983

Miles Ahead
Horns & Thorns
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 100 min

Don Cheadle IS Miles Davis in a movie he co-wrote, produced and directed and starred in AND PLAYED MUSIC IN – Miles Ahead.  I don’t know exactly what Miles Davis is or was (of course I know his music, and his funky 70s-80s hair), but whatever Don is doing as Miles is now Miles Davis to me.  WAY TO GO DON!!  And nice job directing your first movie!  So when are you making the Canadian version - Kilometers Ahead?

You can feel the fcuk out of the passion in this passion project, and cause you can feel this passion, you can ignore any minor squabbles one might have with the movie – like Michael Stuhlbarg‘s mustache, or Ewan McGregor in general, or its choppiness, ans sometimes dopiness, or not getting a full picture of Miles’ life, BUT I dug on Cheadle as Davis, even if most of it was glum and glummer, and you will too, and that’s that.  But mainly we need to talk about how…

Emayatzy Corinealdi is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Miles Ahead forges ahead currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Ariel Winter means well

Ariel Winter means well