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Just Do It

remember our Jan Ewe Airy praisin’ of UK’s jizzy jazzy DJ Just Jack (think an even whiter Mike Skinner)? Yeah, didn’t sphinx so, but that shouldn’t stop you from czeching out the man himself as he stops by our shores next week to play his first two US shows ever, and breast of all, shiz be FO FREE!!


[NYC RSVP | LA RSVP]

for your thighs only…

Writer’s Block‘ [d]
&
the vid for ‘Starz In Their Eyes

both from his brillsy album
Overtones
which gets its long awaited US release
on August 28th, yo!

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The White Shadow

The White Stripes
Madison Square Garden
July 24th


There’s nuttin quite like waking up with Folger’s in your cup the day after a seeing a phenom show, head pounding, ears ringing, and mouth and ass burping and farting the rankest of ranks. While that last duo can be thanked in part to the robert downing jring of a sack of White Castles, the other were the direct result of the major rawkin that Meg and her ‘lil brother’ Jack put on at MSG last nite. Hell, tis be the second greatest show I’ve seen by a duo there mt EVERest and mt suribachi! The first? Simon & Garfunkel’s we need sum sick cash reunion back in the ’03 (pre-Thighs Wide era), which also happens to be the greatestistest show I’ve ever seen. While I haven’t seen many other duos at the Garden, it’s still a feat when two albino-skinned Detroiters can bring an arena of 20,000 to its feet from the get-go to the get the hell outta the building thyme. And while mos bands who play ‘the world’s most famous arena’ fill our eyeballs up with endless Zoo-TV imagery, the ‘sibling’ Whites kept the focus on them, with no gimmicketry at all… unless you count the giant silhouettes bein cast behind them of Meg’s boobs bouncing (Hmmmmm, shadow boobs!). Although I wish they played for 3 hours, I’m happy they were able to squeeze in what they did in 2. The new material sounded mos thumcredible, but I muss say, my heart almost decided to stop after Jack picked up the mandolin and played ‘Little Ghost’ instead of ‘Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn’. Damn, damn. Guess I’ll have to see em again!

Set Lisp

Dead Leaves On The Dirty Ground
When I Hear My Name
Jolene
Hotel Yorba
Cannon -> John The Revelator
Icky Thump
Do
Death Letter
In The Cold, Cold Night
A Martyr for My Love for You
I’m Slowly Turning Into You
Think I Smell A Rat -> Wasting My Time
300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues
You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As Your Told)
Fell In Love With A Girl -> Ball & Biscuit
Blue Orchid
I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself
Little Ghost
We’re Going To Be Friends
Little Bird -> Catch Hell Blues
My Doorbell
Seven Nation Army
Boll Weevil

[accordin to PradaShop]

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Laid Deez Night

La Vie En Rose (La Môme)
Sad Songs Say So Much
Trailer

For each of the past three years, we’ve been dazzled by a performance in a biopic that when we left the theater, we instantly knew that each of those actors were going to walk away with an Oscar. In the ’04, it was Jamie Foxx channeling Ray Charles. In the ’05, we said tru-dat to Phil S Hoffnad’s take on Truman Capote (even though Toby Jones’ nasal passages in Infamous shoulda been mo famous for the role). And in the ’06, twas Forest Whitaker’s meanie Amin that timbered our britches. For the ’07, instead of betting the farm on a man, we’ve decided to send all our love to one actress. The actress in question, with the golden touch come next March, is Marion Cotillard. Qui? Well, if you didn’t see her bein smarmed by Russell Crowe in A Good Year or be a good listener to hubby Billy Crudup’s crusty olde tall tale teller of a father in Big Fish then that name or face probably won’t ring a bell. But bells are certainly ringing now, with or without you sucka MCs, cause anyone who exits a screening of the ever mos lovely La Vie En Rose will not soon forget Cotillard’s career-defining work as legendary French singer Edith Piaf. Hell, outta the golden biopics mention above, Rose is by far the bestest of the bunchest! I could go on and on, but what more do you need to go on? This shiz is magnifique!

Apt MPupil3: Edith Piaf‘s unforgettable ‘Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien‘ [d|vid]

You Got Served: I’m still waitin for someone out there to upload the infamous Sammy Sosa Denny’s ad up on YouTube, where he tells Tony Gwynn how he was traded for Wade Boggs and a side of rice pilaf

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show•

Evening
Isn’t It Morning Yet?
Trailer & Mo!

From the people that brought us The Hours comes an even more snoozerific outting with even more great actressesesesez abound, but unfortch, none are a-gagged! Er, uh, um, whatever. Anywho, Evening is about Vanessa Redgrave babbling on her death bed to her daughters (Toni ‘The Teeth’ Collette & real life kin/hottie Natasha Richardson… what, was Joely too busy?) about people in her past that she wanted to bone more than once. As V-Reds goes back in forth between Babble-On and La-La Land, so do we. While it was dandy to peer into her past, it was the present that was the wurstest gift of all! Dat’s right. I is saying they shoulda done away with the old woman moaning about crap and instead juss show us the crap. Why does everyone keep forgettin the phrase that pays: show me, don’t tell me? I dunno, but the mo important question is, why do I have the red hots for Meryl Streep’s daughter, Mamie Gummer, who plays the younger versh of her character in da past? While you willie ponder that, I’ll be shooting my modern-day remake of Deep Throat with Mamie G. I call it: Streep Throat!

House, MD RI: building sets are for wusses, and that’s why the peeps behind Evening utilized two real be-yute-tea-ful Rhode Island homes for the flick. On top of that, one street scene was filmed 10 blocks from ThighLand castle

Yours, Mine and Hours: while nuttin can take the cake away from Ben Stiller’s Die Hard 12 trailer, this parody preview of The Hours from a few years back still ices our vices…


John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

& if you Netflux one movie this weak, make it…


Shiz was franztastic. And yes, we do realize that Ryan Phiillliippppee is in it too! Hell, the biggest mistake we’ve made all year, besides not buying a second copy of our junior high yearbook, was not seeing Breach in theaters! Shame on us! Go Jaguars!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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It Tastes Like Burning

close, but no corn

Simpsonsize Me You

Where’s the Shia LaBeef? How bout in 3 Indy Jones spin-off movies

Where’s the Siamese Dream cover twins?

Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant talk about The Extras one-off special and you wanking to them

biggestestestist non-story story of the day floatin round the interwebs: Winona Ryder on the cover of Vogue

Bandwagon Boy lives on… in message board-dumb

Fucoustic, an acoustic Fugazi cover band from Austria [istDC]

we’re coming after you Jezebel, whatever the fork site that is, and whatever the fork bein #49 on the Dirt 100 list means

Mario & Sonic @ da Olympics gotz an ad

+ screencaps from the game

the only time the words ‘the police’ and ‘downloading’ belong together: plenty o mp3 goodness from some of the Police’s reunion shows!

TSG’s Teeing Off The Cops

death from JFC

Acrctcic Tale screeningszzz

Will it Blend? iPhone edish

Top 10 Weirdest and Funniest Japanese Condoms

Lily Allen shows off her third nipple

video game evolution

Give me back my Google: Google results without the annoying affiliate links

Репортаж – Как мы спали в Парижском метро (Ивкин фотик)

One Smoke Ring to Rule them All

Tisdale, the land that probably loves the Jodi Foster sex-comedy The Accused

Breast Lift Before and After Pictures
Breast Reduction Before and After Pictures
Breast Augmentation Before and After Pictures
[all NSFW via Carpetfresh]

&


The Tampon Shooter

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The Invisible Band

Travis
Fillmore NY at Irving Plaza
July 15th


Tis been four long years since we’ve last heard from the Glaswegian quartet known as Travis. Four years doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but twas long enuff of a hiatus for me to fear they would never return at all, at least to our shores. For you see, Travis has had limited amount o’ success in America. And with each new release, that success keeps gettinz limitederer and limitederer. Which makes no farkin sense to me, considering that they’re better in every respect than the other wanker UK bands that have made a lasting splash, like Coldgay or Keane. And while their stadium rockin show should be playin and selling out MSG, I won’t complain too much that they’re stuck playing to two nights of sold out crowds at the much more user friendly Irving Plaza


Without hearing a single or double note of their new album, The Boy With No Name, I was already lined up with my hardon earned cash to see them. A month later, I realized that the show’s date was fast approaching, and I had yet to purchase said album. So with a week to go, I did some major cramming, cause nuttin is worse than seeing a band you like and not knowing any of the new tunes (the only case that that didn’t matter was rockin out to the Axl Rose fronted G’N’R cover band). Well, I is mos glaad that I crammed, cause not only did the boys easily pick up where they left off, but love hactually outdid themselves in the process. While their past three discs (The Man Who, The Invisible Band & 12 Memories) are all certifiable bestness, I bee leave they’ve purrfected their sound and tuneshipedness with Boy. If yer a newbie, I’d pick up all 4 immediately. Wants wrong with bein into wanker music? Not like we all don’t wank in the first place!


We’ve seen the fellas a bunch o’ times b4… even paying to see them open for Oasis at Radio City & Dido at Jones Beach in a much simpler pre-9/11 world, but last night our eyes were even mo wide open (didn’t hurt that Demetri Martin staged his white t-shirt ode to ‘Selfish Jean’… sea above for orig vid and live versh). Since wees is so in love with the new disc, we were quite jimmy jazzed that a 1/3 of their set was dedicated to its tracks. Usually new ditties stick out like a sore thumb up someone’s butt, but this was not the case last night. And the crowd seemed to agree, turning a user friendly plaza into a mos rockin stadium. Even though I want Travis to make it big in America, like my Chinese food, I can live without the MSG

Setlist

Selfish Jean
Eyes Wide Open [d]
Writing to Reach You
As You Are
My Eyes
Big Chair
Pipe Dreams
Re-offender
Side
Driftwood
Good Feeling
Closer (aborted & restarted)
Sing
Battle Ships
All I Want to Do Is Rock
Turn
——-
Flowers In the Window (acoustic)
Indefinitely
Selfish Jean w/Demetri Martin on shirts
WDIAROM

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