Thighs Wide Shut

Sing Now or Forever Hold Your Peace
Sing NEVER
Trailers

Sio Bibble once said, ‘Master of Thighs, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then let the Thigh Mistress speak!‘ And so, for once I will heed the advice of my most trusted consort…

Sing Now or Forever Hold My Hair Back While I Vomit

This piece of bona fide poop stunk to high heaven. Worse than the Thighmaster’s gag-inducing farts… and that’s saying something. I had to do way too much eye rolling and fake jerking off of my non-existent penis. It made zero sense, none of the characters or plot points were even close to believable, it tried to make a cappella singers look cool (never the case), it made light of suicide in a really creepy way, and Elizabeth Reaser was trying too hard…which was the worst part since I totally have a girl crush on her and I want to jump her sexy five head. Eight thumbs down. The end

Six Feet Wonder: no, that’s not Michael C Hall stinkin up this joint, but his impostor, David Harbour aka the other dude to buggle Jake Gyelelelnhall in Brokecrack Mt

Apt MPupil3:: a cappella is never cool, unless of course, wees talkin bout Rockapella‘s theme song to end all team shlongs ‘Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego‘ [d]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): for once, I agree with the Mistress… Slit Your Eyes & Thighs Out & Off Repoopulous•

No Mo Motion or Pictures
of
d bag extraodnaire
Jack Joseph Valenti
who gave US(A)
letters to live and hate by
G GP PG PG-13 M R NC-17 X

1921 – 2007

Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett kicks it, for good & in his honor, we do the mash, the MOOONNSSTER MASH! [d]
+/-
Mr Avis gets hert(z)
Shot Put Innovator to be put underground
& not the creator of Six Feet Under goes six feet under

Jarvis Cocker
Webster Hall
April 23rd

Jarvis Cocker may not be the voice of a generation, but if I had to choose one voice to rule them all, for everything from books on tape to subway PA announcements, he would mos def shirley be the one. I am serious, and stop calling me Mos Def!! I don’t remember when I became smitten with JC and his former fellow cohorts of Pulp, but the smittens have never been liftedens from my body, my self. Well, 28ish years in, JC finally got around to releasing a proper solo album. And the results are purty much the same amazingness that he had achieved with Pulp. That’s why his ‘solo’ show, complete with a 4 man band, totally rocked the hizzle and the kizzle and the flizz nizzle. Honestly, I’ve never seen a singer on stage without an instrument be more entertaining than Jarvis. Not only is his wit wisdom, but the brother was born to hand jive, baby. The only thing missing from the beyond bestness fest was him mooning Michael Jackson, like it was ’96. Well that, and any trace of Pulp songs. And that’s why the evening was even mo special. He owned Webster Hall without leaning on his back catalog. So if he ever changes his mind, and reunites the boys and girls, I will pay top dollar to see them, and so should you

Lobster Misc

Snusic Mobbery’s gots last nite’s setlist and leg humpin details!

Jarvis purchased the kiddie book This Is Hardcore New York for his lil son Albert

if you were there and waz wonderin what happened to J’s Corona bottle, interweb no further!

a solid review and pics from Sunday’s show

‘Black Magic’ [d]

•Art Garfunkel AND Sean Lennon
The Allen Room @ Jazz at Lincoln Center
& The Fillmore NY @ Irving Plaza
April 13th

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Yes, in one night, I basically saw Art Garfunkel open for John Lennon’s son. Both shows were sorta homecomings, since both fellas originally hail from NYC, and both had some minor celeb thighspottin goings on (Art’s wife Kim and Albert Ham Jr at Sean’s show), but other den dat, the two shows didn’t have much in common. While Sean’s gig was bearific, at times it was a bit too mellow. DNA or not, the kid’s got talent, and on stage he mos certainly displayed it, but I sure wish he’d rock out a bit smores. Even when he played his bestest tune from his latestist (and yesh, bestestiestest) album, ‘Headlights’, tit twas a tad too and three underwhelming for my pastes. But hey, this is the cloestestest I’ll ever get to seeing John Lennon perform. Good call then for Sean to grow that hobo beard!

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As for Art, it’s was an absolute honor and a darn right privilege to see the Jewfro’d man belt out tunes again. When we last caught him and Paul Simon at MSG back in the ‘003, chills were endlessly running down our spine. Hell, it’s the greatestist concert we hath ever darn seen EVER. And yes, we mean that, even after seeing Public Enemy and Ice-T share a stage back in the early ’90s. While Art’s solo show aint a non-stop Bookends fest, the rest of the tracks he throws down, mainly covers since he’s not known as a songwriter, are still worth the price of admission. Don’t spank me and him wrong though, cause the ‘funk-master gives the peeps what they came to hear: the S&G masterpieces, like ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, ‘The Boxer’, ‘Mrs Robinson’, ‘The Sound Of Silence’, and ‘Cecilia’, which was adorably dueteded with his teenaged son James, who, for butter or for wurst, is a spittin image of his papa, and even dances as poorly as his ole man too!

By the gay, before you die, u muss see one concert in The Allen Room. Probs the mos enchanting venues mt EVERESt and mt fuji!! Art loved it fo shazzles. When refs in his songs mentioned parts of NYC, he’d point out them thru the looking glass. Dude loves himself some come-ons from the whores on Seventh Avenue!

happarently your 2007 NCAA B-Bull Champs make some people mad horny for Kevin Arnold’s mom, sans clothes

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[d]

& 2002 4eva and EVA long may you live goria!