Thighs Wide Shut

The Lookout
Blind, Def & Fun
Trailer

If you asked me boint plank who my mos flavorite actor going these days be, I wouldn’t flinch for a second as I rolled the hyphenated bestness of Joseph Gordon-Levitt off my tongue. I never cared for 3rd Rock or care to see Angels in the Outfield or 10 Things I Hate About Jews, but after takin in his (shoulda been Oscar nominated) explosive turn as a teen hustler in Mysterious Skin [TWS.org mini review] and his ace high school Sam Spade role in Brick [TWS.org review] I was all about the JG-L. Well, I’m schlappy to report that his latest, the Memento-lite Lookout, is right on par with those other two eye-opening films. The Lookout is nothing revolutionary, but the strong supporting cast (mainly I speak of JGF-L’s blind BFF Jeff Daniels… who is slowly becoming a Thigh flavorite as well, hispecially after The Squid & The Whale) and solid script help make screenwriter Scott Frank(Out of Sight/Minority Report)’s directorial debut one to watch

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix another Alar Kivilo cinematographed joint like A Simple Plan [trailer]

Possible Porno Name: The Cock’s Out

Apt MPupil3: BRMC‘s ‘Shuffle Your Feet’ [d] from their vastly underplayed Howl disc

IMDb Sweeney: Director Frank wrote the episode of the Wonder Years where Kevin endlessly wusses over calling hottie Lisa Berlini, juss one of a zillion Wonder Fappers

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers••

Rental Round Up(dog): Underseen Federico Diaz Edish

Harsh Times [Trailer]
& Havoc [Trailer]

•Although Joseph Gordon-Levitt co-stars in Havoc, documentarian Barbara Kopple‘s fictional look at stoopid SoCal wiggers… aka the flick where Anne Hathaway & Bijou Phil’s boobs are abound, this space is not dedicated to him, but to Six Feet Under‘s Freddy Rodríguez, who’s great work in that film and in Harsh Times, David Ayer‘s directorial debut that basically takes his Training Day script and replaces Denzel with Patrick Bateman, has gots to be recognized. It’s unfortch that both of these films didn’t make much of a splash upon their releases cause they’re far superior showcases of his talents than the blah roles he was given in Bobby, Poseidon and Lady In The Water. But if for some reason, and I sure hope it doesn’t, this acting bit doesn’t work out he could always falls back on The Diaz Family Mortuary

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Rachael Ray montage of Hmmmmms [Nipsy N]

a preggers Nancy O’Bestness, who now heads up a brand new category: MBILF, mother to be that I’d like to f$%k!!

[mora]

•Dragon’s Lair comin to Blu-Ray

the last DeLorean built is up for sale

Roger Waters‘ new ditty ‘Hello (I Love You)’ [d] from The Last Mimzy sdtrk

This Website Stinks: An Unofficial Tony Kornheiser Website, now with 100% less Joe Thighsmann

Anna Nicole Smith Finally Reaches Target Weight

Lost Levels, unused bonus games, more unused sprites & debug mode for Super Mario Bros 3!

Twelve Fantastic McDonald’s Placemats

people who intersleuth for How to look like a sluty wife

& the David Bowie curated Higline Festival, which features the likes of the Arcade Fire, Air, and rare NYC apperances of Daniel Freakin Johnston AND RICKY GERVAIS (!!!!), who is hoping to mcnab Prince for a series finale special of Extras, and, if you didn’t know, is probs-blee the funniestestiest lil fat man on the planet (Stephen Merchant isn’t fat, but he’s fab!)!

Zodiac
Period Piece of Art
Trailer & Mo

Within the very first scene of Zodiac, we are not only introduced to the titular killer and his dirty work, but we are also reintroduced to David Fincher who’s masterful talent has been sorely missed. His last film dropped in the ’02, but Panic Room was a far cry from where he left off before that in the ’99, with the beyond brills Fight Club. So I’ve basically been waitin and waitin for 8 long years for the director who I’ve worshiped above all the cool mid to late 90s directors (Tarantino, Boyle, Jonze, Singer, and yes, even Aronofsky) to deliver the goods. Zodiac not only fulfilled that Fincher bestness void, but also the void of fantab flicks to be released so far in the ’07. While there’s many moons and suns to go before Dec 31st, I still feel confident in naming it one of the best films of the year

Fincher has already shown that’s he jason capel-able of making a thumcredible serial killer flick. I mean, once could argue that Se7en is even more engaing than Silence of the Lambs, but Zodiac isn’t a serial killer movie. Sure, it’s about a serial killer, but it’s more of a spooky Unsolved Mysteriesish journalistic investigation, a neverending one at that since the killer was never caught, into the events that brought northern Cali to it’s knees in the late 60s and early 70s. When I walked out of the theater I wanted to know every single in and out about the case (gawd bless Zodiackiller.com). I hadn’t been so keen in seeking out the truth since Oliver Stone’s JFK mesmerized me beyond belief when I was all of 14 years of age… if only Spike Lee’s complete misfire Summer of Sam had worked the same magic

While I wished that Inland Empire‘s runtime was 3 minutes instead of 3 hours, I wouldn’t have minded if Zodiac was 2 1/2+ days long instead of 2 1/2+ hours. Tits dat good folks. Welcome back Finchy. Never leave me hangin like that again or I’ll have to throw all my love to the other Finchy for good!

Apt MPupil3: Donovan’s beyond bananas bestness ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man‘ [d] which will forever make me think of this film

Deja View: No, Zodiac aint the first time that Jake Gyllenhaal & John Carroll Lynch peered into each other’s eyes. Hell, it aint even the second time! The two first appeared together as father and son in Bubble Boy, followed by The Good Girl, where JCL was JG’s boss at the Retail Rodeo

Killer Looks: Zodiac Watches

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show•

Rental Round Up(dog)

Colour Me Kubrick
[Trailer]

One of the sadest things a Thigh Master has to deal with on a day-to-day basis is the fact that there will never be another Stanley Kubrick film ever. Since his death and the release of this site’s cousin Eyes Wide Shut in 1999, we’ve been slowly dying ourselves. So any time anything Kubrickianishesque gets released, it’s naturally that we get a bit nutty. Luckily for me, these releases have all eased my pain. We totally JOed to the mishmash that was Spielberg’s take on A.I., and we really dig-dug the not so revealing yet intriguing doc Stanley Kubrick: A Life In Pictures, by his bro-in-law Jan Harlan, and on the last go around, at the ’06 Tribeca Film Fest, we went bananas for Colour Me Kubrick (in America, we leave out the ‘u’). To quote ourselves, Colour Me is the loose fictionalization of conman Alan Conway’s amazing mid 90s London exploits as a Kubrick impersonator that not only is hilarious, but is by far the mos humorous John Malkovich (who plays Conway) film to date. We gave it a rating of Breast In Show and will still stand by that. It’s another one of these Magonlia Pic Day & Date Premiere thangies. Shiz opens in theaters and HDNet today, and will be available on DVD next week. Seek it out, like I seek out the truth about the Zodiac killah!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Has it ever been your wet dream for Martika (‘Toy Soldiers’, vid in English OR live in Spanish!), Fergie (Kristen Johnston‘s alias in Black Eyed Peas), Rudy from The Monster Squad and several other youthsters from Kids Incorporated to sing Limahl of Kajagoogoo fame’s ‘The Neverending Story‘ [vid] AND Cyndi Lauper‘s of Cpt Lou offspring fame’s ‘The Goonies R Good Enough‘ [vid, which includes Steven Spielberg in hipster clothing]? Well, shiz happened on Episode 15: ‘The Phantom of the P*lace’ of Kids Inc‘s ’85 season (‘Somebody’s Watching Me’ was also played). I couldn’t find him in the vid below, but there’s a good chance that Mario Lopez/AC Slater was prancin around the set somewhere

The Namesake
Kumar Goes White
Trailer (probably the best I’ve seen all year)

Adapted from the vastly popular Jhumpa Lahiri novel of the same name, The Namesake is the Indian-American equivalent of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I don’t mean that it’s a dopey comedy filled with more stereotypes than a Michael Richards stand-up act, but it’s an exploration of an old world mixing it up in the new world, when second generation children grow up in a society much different than their immigrant parents did, and where each family member must figure out where their cultural identity lies.

Instead of a Windex spraying father and an overbearing mother, we’re invited into the lives of the more down to (planet) earth Ashoke and Ashima Ganguli (both eggceptionally played by Bollywooders Irfan Khan and Tabu), who were brought together by way of an arranged marriage and brought from thier native land to NYC in search of a better tomorrow. In a span of two fast-paced hours, we see the couple adapt to their new surroundings, be fruitful and multiple, and then watch their children as they turn more into everyday Americans than yesteryear Indians. It’s a lot of ground to cover in that time span, which is both the movie’s greatestist asset and weakness. Asset, cause the film never stops being engaging, but a weakness, cause it feels like some bits are glossed over or not even fully explored… that’s probably what made the book such a good read

So I’m sure you’re wondering about the name and the actor who plays him, for heaven’s sake. Well, Mr & Mrs Ganguli temporarily name their first boy Gogol, as in the Russian writer Nikolai, not as in Golgo 13. Hollywood stoner Kal Penn is refreshing in role of the culturally criss-crossed Gogol, but it’s not the kind of performance that you’d say is an absolute breakthrough, as I’m sure many had hope it would. I think it’s still possinle, but he would have keep working in more films like these and less in ones where he’s required to have a BA in Bong-ology. Either way, his future is looking quite bubbly for Kumar

Possible Porno Name: For Taint’s Sake

Mirar Nair: Nair directed the sultry ’96er Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love, which had Rome‘s Niobe gettin busy with the likes of Lost‘s Sayid. And yes, since tits about the KS, there’s plenty of NSFWness to go round!

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): honestly, the trailer was better than the movie, but this thang is fo sho a Jeepers Worth A Peepers•

Music & Lyrics
Tone Definitely Not Worth Running To The Theater For
Trailer

This is like every other lame-brained rom-com you’ve ever seen, cept this one finally pits Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore in the ways of love and Mad-Lib Hollywood screenwriting. I bet Hollywurst is already trying to figure out a way to put Adam Sandler and Sandra Bullock into some sorta wacky boy meets grrrrl situation. Too bad they already used up that time traveling mail box idea! Anywho, Music & Lyrics is about nothing you need to concern yourself with, yet it’s still charming. Charming only cause of its leads and not with the material that they’re working with. This movie is a poopstain, but if you’re forced into it, like yours drooly, there are two things that make it OK to not slit your eyes, repoopulous stizz…

1) the beerlarious video for Hugh Grant’s Wham!ish 80s band Pop! (the em pee 3 can be found b-low)

2) the hotness that is up and coming on my face Haley Bennett

[more fapness can b found on HerSpace & GQ]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges•… which basically means it’s more entertaining than 300

Rental Round Up(dog)

Idiocracy
Trailer

Mike Judge’s his and her stair-a-cool Office Space follow up is and was the breastest rental of ’07/sorta-unreleased movie of ’06! Tis quite a shame that Fox had no faith in the film cause tits mo funny than the last 42 Frat-Pack films that were released! And yes, Earl Mann is da mann! Not only did he provided the VO for Idiocracy but he’s also one of the main voices for NFL films

and oh yeah, The Holiday blows wurster than a Tony Danza talk show. Jack Black tried to be serious, but I don’t think anyone really asked for it. Spreaking of, Tenacious D in ‘The Pick of Destiny’ was outta control bananas for the first 10 minutes. Sadly, the rest of the film was more of a grapefruit

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…