Thighs Wide Shut

Crayola, old school to new school

Zack Morris reveals all about Zack Morris on Fallon [9-Vult]

Todd Barry’s Receipt Museum [Cover Art Messiah]

Robots in disguise [OviWani]

Bog’s collection of unscratched lotto tickets impresses no one

THAT’S A OUT FLAT LIE, so no discussion necessary

this may be a trap [Shumster]

& we wish they all could be California Beach Feet

or maybe not!

internets to never forgets:

Star Wars Gangster Rap, 2000 version [yearn more]

& while we’re at-at…

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

Star Wars Pool Inflatables

it’s a Trapp

1) I think the British will never care for American football, especially when we sent them the mos boringistest game imaginable. I’m sure that scary-arsed Jason Taylor robot didn’t help our cause much either. I hope the Brits get revenge on our shores by forcing their potato crisps on us, which are far superior than our junk. Anywho, GOD SAVE STAN GELBAUGH!

2) I think the baseball season ended or something, but I didn’t even realize it ever started. Oh well, there’s always next season, which starts next week when pitchers and catchers report to spring training

3) I think the Redskins got raped by the Pats cause they were looking ahead to next week’s game vs the Jets. To hell with trap games, eh? Good thing they didn’t listen to Admiral Ackbar

4) I think this is the worstest set of fooball photochops mt EVERest

5) I think Brad Childress should dress up like Ragnar the Viking for every home game. I mean, he already has the perfect stache for it. And if that doesn’t rally his busted-arsed troops, I think he should go the Mike Tice route and rock a pencil in the ear

6) I think Ben Utecht should have his own treaty like the city of Utrecht

7) I think Sage Rosenfels should rename his two kids Rosemary and Thyme

8) I think when Quinn Gray retires, he should start a Manfred Mann cover group with Quinn Early called The Mighty Quinns

9) I think no two gifts say Righteous Kwanzaa quite like a SD Chargers Whales Vagina tee and Keeley Hazell’s 2008 Calendar, Topless Versh [NSFW, duhvs]

10) and I think Tony Zendejas’ Mexican Restaurant has surpassed Bill & Ted as the most excellent thang to hail from San Dimas

the title of this post is a homage/fromage
to Peter King’s weekly poofest

Spank the good lord that July is over. Sure, it started on a high note, with Sis getting hitched with Smits in tow, but it pretty much all went to shit after that. Yeah, there was the whole job thing, and those nasty crabs I couldn’t get out of my crotch, but nothing typified the month better than last night’s Duran Duran show at the Tommy Hilfiger whored-out Jones Beach. Now don’t get me wrong, the fellaz put on one rockin arsed show last nite, as they also did this past April, but they made one huge mistake than made yer TMaster more irate than Al Iafrate: NOT PLAYING ‘HUNGRY LIKE A WOLF’!?!?!?!? WHAT THE SPORK??? That’s like the Bible not mentioning Jesus!!! I’ll stop myself there, before I become Jim Mora Jr Jr, and start to look forwards, not borewards. For August is already shaping up to be a better month. I mean, there’s NFL pre-season fooball this SATURDAY!!!

• First there was Make Poverty History, then Make Lohag History, and now, Damon A’s Make Doherty History. Where does it end? Chris Makepeace History?

• The fall in NY juss got a lil bit more fun with the announcement of the Across the Pond concert series, featuring the Pixies, Beck, Oasis, Killers, Gang Of Four, Jet, Belle & Sebastian, the New York Dolls, and many mo to come. The shows will be held simultaneously at Keyspan Park in Brooklyn and Richmond County Bank Ballpark in Staten Island, on Rocktober 1-2. [via The Shop]

• One of my 47882356y7778gb5 prayers have been answered: Wild Palms, James Belushi’s best work since Taking Care of Business (aka Filofax), to be released on DVD ROCKTOBER 4th!

• A man has been charged with the Charlotte church murder. If she’s forked the peacelled then who be the one turning down Chicago and Wonderbra?

• A 10th planet has been discovered, but will it be more popular than Pluto Nash, co-starring the Best Albino?

• Cpt Zzzzz really needs to stop hanging out with people who wear monocles

• Peep the vid to Supergrass’ new jazzle ‘St Petersburg’

• The Quarterly List of Admissible and Prohibited (Porno) Titles, prepared by Canada’s Border Services Agency

• Earth.Google.com [via The Thinker]

• Why are there so many spices in the Spice Islands?

• Free passes in various big titties cities to see The 40-Year-Old Virgin

• The Mustache Database

• Random Mario flash animationism [via Paxman]

• World’s Largest Basket

• Ackbar, you never cease to amaze me…

[via Cassons Go Rolling Along]