instant klassiczzzzz!!!!!!!!!

Animated Albums

[via Vult]

&

Billy Ripken Bombs

[via Mr I]

this might be the single greatestestest set of opening credits mt EVERest and Erebus!!!!! (EAT IT Watchmen!!!!!)

soundtrack by .5 of Daft Punk doesn’t hurt neither
[via PradaShop]

Little Seizures I =

seizure! seizure!!

Happy 51st B-Day to Tennis For Two

the world’s second ever computer game. OXO was the first
[via CBS Sunday Morn/Gizmo]

Law Abiding Citizen
Law(And Everything Else)less
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

If Law Abiding Citizen were released in the lates 60s/early 70s maybe it would have been something special, in a Dirty Harry justice at all costs kinda way, but if you czech yer calendar, you’ll notice it’s 2009, and if you somehow happen to make the mistake of watching this udder hunk of not so modernist junk, you’ll mos likely be czeching your watch over and over, waiting for this wish it was Death Wish revenge fantasy to end

Blame cannot be assessed to director F. Gary Gray, who keeps the punches rolling, a few that will make you jump outta yer seat, but this eye-rolling-a-thon fails largely due in part to the who’s more annoying ham acting between Jamie (should stick to the real life characters) Foxx and Gerard (no ifs, ands or) Butler (although mayor Viola Davis is perhaps the wurstest offender in the thespian dept here), and the man who put all dem putrid words in their mouth, Kurt Wimmer. Wimmer is the pen-man-sinking-ship behind such forgettable duds as Ultraviolet, The Recruit, Equilibrium, Sphere, and will probably get to add the Total Recall why is it being remade remake to that list

And the gist of this mos wonderful story? Butler’s wife and child are murdered, Assistant DA Foxx gets some sorta justice on the perps, but not enuff for Butler’s liking, who ten years later employs his technical stealth know-how to play an overblown game of cat and mouse, killing anyone related to his injustice, all from the comfy confines of a jail cell (yer butter off seeing Bronson, although we don’t really recommend that movie either). So how is he pulling all these strings from behind bars? That answer is the only thing remotely keeping yer eye rolling eyes glued to the film, but how it gets to the answer feels more procedural than an 8th rate CSILaw&OrderNCIS, dressed up with some Dexter splatter patterns. Sounds great, right? Throw in Daniel Simpson Day, the father from The Commitments, Carley Bobby, President Logan, and Regina Hall (someone please give this high-larious Scary Movie scene-stealer some real work), and what you got is… it’s never sunny in Philadelphia. weThinks all peoples who pay to see this should be allowed to make a citizen’s arrest on Wimmer

Magi of The Gif: watching Gerard Butler try to act, and cover up his Scottish accent with an overbitten American one, can be purty painful at times, but without his brand of over the slop topness, one of our mos flavorite animated gifs of balls thyme wouldn’ta been possible

Verdictgo: Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

LAC opens at a theater near jews this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

FCC You Later
Analog TV Transmission

1928 – 2009

lettuce take a qwik and incomplete revisionist look back at the moist tube-ular moments in analog jammin (not including when the Six Million Dollar Man battled Sasquatch… who was played by André the Giant!)

July 2nd, 1928

station W3XK in Wheaton, MD
emits the US’s first broadcast:
a 10 second porn

October 22nd, 1939

John Madden becomes the first color analyst
of a black & white football game
as the Brooklyn ‘Football’ Dodgers beat
the Philadelphia Eagles 23-14
but the end of the game is cut off
by the TV movie Heidi

July 1st, 1941

‘America runs on Bulova time’
becomes the 1st (legal) TV ad to air
but if America had a choice
it woulda chosen the Jhoon Rhee one

November 5th, 1955

Caroline In The City falls for Calvin Klein
who’s mad pissed cause
another Honeymooners rerun is on
[big ups to the massive BTTF timeline
all dough that ep actually aired on 12/31]

August 28th, 1963

MLK has a wet dream, or something

November 24th, 1963

The Lee Harvey Oswald Experience debuts
they kill it, but their tour abruptly ends

February 9th, 1964

The Beatles refuse Ed Sullivan’s request
to change the title of their hit
‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’
to ‘I Want You To Hold My Cock’

July 20th, 1969

Man lands on the moon
and Walter Cronkite becomes a lunartic
the film 2001 still doesn’t make any sense

sometime in 1969

Elvis’ installs 3 TVs into his
Taking Care of Business room at Graceland
so he could simultaneously watch
C-SPAN, BET and C-SPAN 2
NBC, ABC and CBS
that’s even mo genius than
a PB, Banana & Bacon sangwich!

January 3rd, 1972

WGBH logo rox its own electric boogaloo
and turns out to be the bestest of balls thyme

April 2nd, 1974

Robert Opel breaks Cal Ripken’s streaking record
at the 46th Academy Awards and prompts
David Niven to make the best use
of the word ‘cummings’ since ee

April 8th, 1974

two white guys chase
a black guy who juss finished chasing a white guy

September 17, 1978

“Bitching About Stuff with Andy Rooney”
becomes a regular segment of 60 Minutes
(we hope CBS freezes him for future generations)

November 17, 1978

George Lucas rapes peoples’ eyes and ears
with his The Star Wars Holiday Special
it turned out to be more of an abortion
than Maude‘s abortion

November 18th, 1978

drinking Kool-Aid is no longer considered kool or aidful

December 28th, 1984

wrestler David Schultz pummels John Stossel
cause his mustache is so sexy
and he wants a ride
(who doesn’t?)

July 1st, 1985

Dire Strait’s creepy animated music video
for ‘Money For Nothing’ first airs
everyone wants their MTV
and now, no one wants their MTV

January 28th, 1986

America’s heart explodes
tasteless jokes ensue
we laff at these tasteless jokes
and then say, ‘that’s not funny‘
was ‘too soon?‘ invented on this day?

June 5th, 1989

Tank Man gets in the wrong line
for the Beijing premiere of Tank Girl
at the Tiananmen Square Megaplex 18

January 18th, 1990

Marion Barry allows a bitch to set him up for the last time
becomes the butt of many jokes cracked
[sorry, couldn’t find the video]

April 8th, 1990

Twin Peaks pilot scares the crap outta everyone
even more so than the WGBH logo
TV has never been this good, and never will be again

October 3th, 1992

Sinbad O’Connor rips ass & attempts to distract the audience
by ripping a photo of The Pope

June 15th, 1995

OJ replaces Dan Marino as
the spokesperson for Isotoner Gloves

September 11th, 2001

awfulnessss
+
100 Most Memorable TV Moments, according to TV Guide/Land
Television History – The First 75 Years
a U. S. Television Chronology, 1875-1970
Popular Mechanics articles about TV from 1928 & 1929
timeline of the introduction of television in countries
Photos: A Fond Farewell to Analog Television
rabbit ears aren’t history
10 technological facts of TV
long live Remote Control!
& who watches the Watchman?

hat tip to markkrugman for the inspiration, sorta