being married kept me away from the movie theatre/theater, and more at home, glued to the good ole boob tube, and that was way OK, cause TV was pretty fraking good in 2014…

1. Married at First Sight (FYI)

A reality show that made us believe in love AND reality TV again, and it all felt so real.  Sometimes happily ever after is possible, even if it’s manufactred

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2. Ray Donovan (Shotwime)

I am SO gay for Gay Donovan and all of its characters, but mostly gay for Jon Voight as Mickey Donovan – perhaps TV’s greatest supporting character of this century!  Every episode plays like a season finale - packed with more wallop than one could ever wall-down.  WALLOP!!!

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3. American Horror Story: Freak Show (FX)

Scariest sh!t television has ever seen (MAYBE!).  From Twisty the clown (and his super sad backstory) to Finn Wittrock KILLING IT as Dandy Mott to a 3-breasted woman – there’s something for everyone… to make them sh!t their pants!!

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4. Fargo (FX)

Not even Tom Hanks’ lame son could ruin the TV show that did the Bates Motel/Hannibal impossible of 2014 – take a sacred movie and turn it into a brilliant TV show!!!   BILLY BOB THORTON’S HAIR FOR THE WIN!!!

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5. Gotham (Fox)

Batman goes Muppet Babies – and it too somehow works, even if doesn’t make comic book sense.  It’s all about Gordon, but Penguin and Catowman junior rule the city/the show + younger Alfred kicks BUT(ler)!!!

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6. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Boardwalk was usually BOREDwalky, and never lived up to its potential, but finally did in its final season.  Maybe cause they found the perfect teeny Steve Buscemi in Marc Pickering

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7. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

My favorite show of 2013 still packed a punch in its second season, for both the brain AND the funny bone.  A rare double-threat that should threaten all other shows that aren’t informative AND funny!!

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8. True Detective (HBO)

that tracking shot!!!

and those boobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [NSFW]

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9. Tyrant (FX)

Nobody is having more (screen) fun than Ashraf Barhom is as Tyrant Jamal, and no one had more fun watching him do that thing than me.  It’s TV’s most underloved awesome show!

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10. Silicon Valley (HBO)

Was there any doubt that a Mike Judge TV show wouldn’t be cool-whip-smart?  And that cast!!!!!  OMG OMG OMG, that CAST!!!!

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11. 10 Things You Don’t Know About (H2)

Sober history, with perhaps the best sober host ever – Henry Rollins!!

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12. Hannibal (NBC)

(spoiler alert) Mason Verger will eat himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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other solid forms of entertainments: 

Veep – FOUR MORE YEARS!!!!

Homeland – it got back to where it once belonged – deep in our hearts

The Knick – would probably be my #1 show, but I only got to see 3 eps cause who subscribes to Cinemax???

My Grandmother’s Ravioli – Mo grannys, mo awesome!!

Ali G Rezurection – for completists, and people who like to laugh

Bates Motel – a lot of padding, but mother and son know/are best

The Americans  – dude, Keri’s butt!!!

Mad Men – too much Megan, not enuff Bert, but plenty of BURGER CHEF!!!

Modern Family – TV’s consistently funniest show that you somehow don’t find funny

House of Cards – that subway push, that 3some, that other stuff!!

Louie – his screen daughter Jane needs a spinoff show

Get Carter – we got it!

Under The Dome – lost a little luster in season 2, but plenty of clusterfudges to keep us glued

Black-ish – the fall’s only new AND funny show worth watching/that wasn’t canceled

Shameless – was nice to be Justin Chatwin-free for a season

Newsroom – good riddance you overly talkie Aaron Sorkin talkie.  and I don’t care how ‘good’ she looks, cause Olivia Munn is the world’s würstest actress

Top Chef - Katsuji for president

Undercover Boss - over-ly sweet and souful!

Masters of Sex – too much time dedicated to the too many side characters, and their too not so interesting side stories

Selfie – dumb, fun, and sadly, gone too soon

Pizza Masters – wish these fatties were my cousins

Garfunkel and Oates – for the comedy (and Saved By The Bell refs), but not so much for the music & lyrics

Maron – dropped off a bit in season 2, but he made Ray Romano funny!

Penny Dreadful – finally, monsters and creatures with brains

Halt and Catch Fire – sweet dreams, OK reality

Vice – although I don’t remember any of the pieces off the top of me head

Girls – sucks

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+ bone-yes moments

- Adrien Brody as Houdini and his hot screen wife and his weird-faced assistant were beyond best!

- TWIN PEAKS IS COMING BACK!!!!!!!  and here’s what they should do

- Stephen Colbert, we’ll meet again

– you can’t handle the Chelsea Handler goodbye

– Cam dances off against Will Sasso

– the insaneness of Petals On the Wind

- all the grandmother’s on My Grandmother’s Ravioli, but especially 90 year old Thelma Brelesky

– Jill St John as Molly as Robin in the second ever episode of Batman (1966)

– that time ‘Murder She Wrote’ went Psycho

– ABC promo glamour shots

– so long Californication – you were the fcuking WURST

– Pam Mueller > Ferris Bueller

- Tommy Chong dances

– never 5get Jimmy McBride – Boston Cab Driver – MTV Gabber

– Disaster of Puppets

- Drake’s Bar Mitzvah / Hobbit Office / Me

– Once In A Lifetime, Times Four

– Keith L Williams as DJ Pre-K on Selfie

– the mystery of Debra Messing’s green sweater puppies

+

my favorite TV performance of 2014…

Adam Hagenbuch as Ashton Kutcher in Lifetime’s Brittany Murphy movie!!!

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& peace the mork out :(

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perv-iously ’13 ’12 ’11 ’10 ’09 ’07

Travis
Webster Hall
September 23rd

Travis is the best.  Me don’t be needing to tell you how one of their concerts would goesz, considering I saw two of the dudes without the other two dudes and it ended up being third greatestest concert I had ever seen.  They have a new album out. It’s Travis-y lite.  Less rocking, but still solid stuff

here’s the…

Setlist – Mother / Sing / Selfish Jean / Pipe Dreams / Moving / Love Will Come Through / Driftwood / Warning Sign / Re-Offender / Where You Stand / My Eyes / Reminder / Side / Writing To Reach You / Closer / Slide Show / Blue Flashing Light / Turn 

Encore - Good Feeling  / Flowers in the Window (Acoustic) / All I Want To Do Is Rock / Why Does It Always Rain On Me? / Mother (played again for a music video recording) 

anywho, there be two things I really want to make note of…

1) bassist Dougie Payne is married to Kelly Macdonald, who is on Boardwalk Empire.  guess who was at the show supporting Mr Macdonald?  None other than castmates Steve Buscemi and Jack Huston (who makes rubber face man still look pretty).  I’d do all of these people.  so would you

and

2) speaking of Dougie Payne, apparently he’s gone with a more mature hairdo these days, going up with his locks instead of down, and now he looks exactly like a younger, happier version of one of my MOIST flavorite non-speaking 1 second characters to ever appear on The Office – the Michael Scott mnemonically nicknamed ‘Lazy Eye’ fella in the ‘Lecture Circuit‘ episode (couldn’t find the name of the actual actor, so if you are this actor and you are reading this, hello, I love you, now won’t you tell me your name)

 

 

 

CBS Sunday Morning is the #1 show on TV ever (sorry Twin Peaks), and as for 2011…

1. Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable (ESPN)

It’s father’s day, every day, on the funniest show on TV, and it isn’t even a comedy.  Take a look above and tell we that that’s something you don’t want to watch DAILY.  Papi for presidente!!

2. Breaking Bad (AMC)

Every time you think things can’t get more f#%cked up, things goes beyonds more f#%cked up, and it’s f#%cking RAWsome!!!

3. Misfits (E4, England)

Losing Robert Sheehan would seem like a nail in the Misfits coffin, but that was not even close to the case with Joseph Gilgun getting mad rude as Rudy.  Each episode feels like its own season, and that’s a GREAT THING

4. Homeland (Showtime)

It’s everything 24 wasn’t – believable terrorism stuff happening on our shores, and it was all more tense than a KOA campground!!  Damian Lewis deserves to win every award he would be eligible for… and the supporting trio of Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin and Morena Baccarin is third to none

5. American Horror Story (FX)

It broke every TV show rule, and a lot of bones AND boners.  Don’t even know how they’re gonna be able to top this debut season, but we can’t wait to see how they do it

6. Beavis & Butt-head (MTV)

Why did B&B ever go away?

7. Life’s Too Short (BBC2/HBO)

Warwick Davis plays himself, but channels show creator and co-star Ricky Gervais (think how people play the Woody Allen role in Woody Allen movies) in more cringe-inducing situations than Larry David could ever imagine… for dwarves

8. Episodes (Showtime)

They made Matt LeBlanc funny.  A feat and feast that must be seen

9. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)

If you know what goes on in the pic above, you know the show hasn’t gathered even a speck of moss in its 8th, New York-centric, season

10. Ebert Presents At The Movies (PBS)

Honestly, it doesn’t matter who’s in the chair and which direction their thumbs go, it juss matters that there are chairs being sat in and thumbs being moved in a direction.  Never leave, although that may not be the case

11. Children’s Hospital (Cartoon Network)

Name a better 11 minute show on TV… ever?

12. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

MOTHER LOVE THIS SHOW!

13. Ryan and Tatum: The O’Neals (OWN)

You can keep yer Krapdashians, and we’ll stick with the O’Neals

13. The Office (NBC)

Michael Scott left us and Dunder Mifflin on the best possible terms (the Holly proposal even rivals the early Jim & Pam courtship stuff), and the addition of James Spader has helped to soften the blow of his departure.  It all still works, even if it isn’t eggzactly the same

other solid forms of entertainments: An Idiot Abroad (we’re a year behind on this one!) Roseanne’s Nuts (who knew she’s the same off-screen as she was on it!!!), Hung (came into its own this season, only to prematurely ejaculate), Rock Center with Brian Williams (it ROCKS!), Kendra (lockout with yer cock out), Sports Show with Norm Macdonald (unjustly cancelled), Game of Thrones (even though we have zero idea what happened on the show), Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel (thoughts are endlessly provoked), Making & Selling Jeans In America (so long Rasta Monsta), Bored To Death (rarely boring), Enlightened (enlightened we), Louie (although everyone on twitter makes we want to hate it), Modern Family (it’s funnier than Louie), Gossip Girl (we gave up on it 2 years ago, returned, and it’s like we never missed an ep… cause nothing new ever happens, but who cares!), The Big C (Hugh Dancy dancyied like no one was watching), Web Therapy (Kudrow!), Shameless (the kids steal the show from H Macy), and Skins (UK, as in not the US version, obvi)

+ bone-yes moments

how does THIS get cancelled?

- Ricky Gervais should host everything.  Franco & Hathaway should only host diseases

– Todd Haynes’ Mildred Pierce was Mildred FIERCE!!!

– the list may be wrong, but 50 Documentaries To See Before You Die was 260 well worth watched minutes to debate!

– US Skins was meh, but Rachel Thevenard is not!!!

– don’t remember one minute of Too Big To Fail.  does that make it a too small and failed?

– kinda pissed that Miranda Otto & Sarah Bolger show never became a show

- Cinema Verite proved that reality bites, even at the very beginning

–  Elizabeth Hurley sexes up Gossip Girl, but Kaylee DeFer is the sexiest!!!

– Ron Swanson aside, Parks & Rec is not funny, despite what your brain and internets has been telling you

– Ken Burns’ Prohibition was bob-tastic

– wait, Oscar was orange?

– Addison Timlin made Californication semi-watchable

– Colin Hanks single-handedly stinks up an entire season Dexter, and juss stinks in general

- Whatever You Want,Think Belmont! FINALLYYYY!!!

- Entourage thankfully ends, but unthankfully with a wimper, but honestly, who cares, as shlong as it’s gone, 9ever

& fair thee well Colonel Sherman T Potter & Sherwood and of course

perv-iously

’10
’09
’07

John Huston’s grandson Jack is a failing apprentice of the Rick Baker School of Special Makeup Effects

Jack’s uncle Danny knew Jack