John Kreese looks at things

[via What About Blagg?]

and while we’re here…

dude, don’t ever f$%k with

The Kove!!!!

dude’s been in 169 things!!

and he’s always the center of everyone’s attention!!!

and he’s so mad close with Angbradlinlihijia that he shows them things that make them fake smile!!!!!!

and he doesn’t smoke cock, he smokes awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and when he dresses up for Halloween, he’s even less scary looking that he is on normal days!!!

and here’s something for those who’ve missed our photochops!!!

and here’s something for the lizadies, The Kove’s penis!!! [NSFW]

Kove, blessed be you!!!

Moneyball
Straight A’s
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 133 min

Moneyball does cinematic poetry to statistical baseball analysis and management like The Social Network did with internets social networking empire building. The recipe – take a best selling book with a subject matter that might not lend itself to being a compelling thing to watch, throw in some punchy Aaron Sorkin (+ Steven Zaillian) words, a great cast & score, and let the good times roll.  And roll, they do!!!

Moneyball will make you believe that David still has a chance against Goliath.  It will make want to buy an Oakland A’s hat.  It will make you rethink Brad Pitt.  We were pretty much done with star, but for the first time in awhile, he’s acting as someone else (Billy Beane), and not juss being Brad Pitt the movie star in a movie.  It will make you yearn for endless Jonah Hill dramatic work (see Cyrus.  seriously, see that movie.  he was fantastic in it) or for him to have stayed fat forever (he just looks wrong, but good for him).  It will make you want to have a daughter that plays guitar.  It will make you wish that Philip Seymour Hoffman was hatcually a baseball manager.  It will make you swear that Chris Pratt isn’t really a prat.  It will make you aware that Bennett Miller (Capote) might really be quite good as this directing thing

But there’s gotta be some bad, right? OF COURSE!  WE CAN EVEN FIND BAD IN POPEYES FRIED CHICKEN (their lack of biscuit sangwiches).  Here’s the ‘bad’ – no AC/DC’s ‘Moneytalks’, the A’s don’t win the World Series (no spoiler there kids), and it’s kinda long.  Well, so is baseball, so maybe they got it right (they did)

BALK THIS WAY, TALK THIS WAY!!!

Hammer Time: always found this tibit so fascinating…

MC Hammer got his nickname from his childhood job with the Oakland Athletics.  Eccentric longtime A’s owner Charlie O Finley loved Stanley Kirk Burrell, the talented kid who danced in the team’s parking lot and eventually became a batboy and an errand boy for the club, and the benevolent owner called him ‘Little Hammer’ because he thought Burrell looked like ‘Hammerin’ Hank Aaron. When the Little Hammer picked up the mic, he became M.C. Hammer [via MFloss]

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Moneyball is atop the standings today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Tree of Life
Endless Days of Heaven
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 138  min

What is The Tree of Life?  Is it life?  Is it tree?  Is it of?  Is it Terrence Malick‘s masterpiece above all of his other masterpieces or close to it? Is it 2+ hours of trying to be good/tuff dad Brad Pitt saying ‘hit me‘?  Is it 32 minutes of Sean Penn looking glum and tired, as his walks around cool modern buildings in Texas AND dusty western vistas?  Is it trying to compare wonderful and volatile mother nature vs wonderful and fancy-free mother nurture (Jessica Chastain), who obeys her husband, adores her children and our maker, runs on beds and sometimes floats on air?  Is it playful and mischievous, like their three sons (Hunter McCracken, Laramie Eppler and Tye Sheridan)?  Is it the bestest planetarium footage not seen in a planetarium?  Is it really that sunshiney every 8 seconds? Is it Sunday thru Saturday Evening Post beyond picture perfect looking? Is it really only released in a 2-D version?  Is it the most thoughtful dinosaur movie that isn’t a dinosaur movie?  Is it truly meaningful or is it juss a bunch of phooey baloney or is it both?  Is it poetry in motion?  Is it motion in poetry?  Is it one long montage meditation trying to pass itself off as a movie? Is it even a movie?  Is it over our heads?  Is it the 2001 II we’ve all been waiting for?  Is it American, while feeling and being foreign cause American flicks are barely this ambitious and beautiful anymore?  Is it possible that some other movie could one-up this and win Best Picture?  Is it possible you will hate this cause of its loose narrative?  Is it possible yer an idiot if you boo this?

Is it all of these things?  Is it not?  IS IT???

House As A Life: let the pilgrimages begin!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Tree is miracle growing in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…