Thighs Wide Shut

James Stewart ‘Forced To Bed Hookers’

[32 невероятни vis Mets]
Cuthbest a Heeb?

Nextest Big Horror Subgenre: processed food mascots

Sofia Coppola, gots papa’s last name and everyone else’s idears

SpottingTrains

March 2007 is a long time to wait for director Danny Boy-le‘s next joint, Sunshine, so why snot peek a sneak now! I dare u to try and not laff at the Chris Evans bits

The Trainspottingettes

Raymi’s BONER OF THE WEEK

Found: Raising Arizona‘s H.I. McDunnough?

Here to hear Kasabain‘s unofficial England World Cup anthem/kinda busted cover of Bowie’s ‘Heroes’

the only time you’ll ever see a Wonketttetetzzz link on thighs [Lou Maller]

I need a simple solution, I need…

…to plug that can in as many of her orifices as NYC has edifices

Charles Nagy-ing Reminders:

Bonnie Wright > Frank Lloyd Wright, but also = that’s just not wright

Sarah McLachlan saved DMC’s life and she also saves his cover of Ugly Kid Joe‘s ‘Cat’s In The Cradle’ [d]

Andy Rooney & Public Art, see it again, for the humpteenth thyme, truss me, tits wool-worth’s it

Puritan Blister

we knows the Encyclopedia Britannica kid [vid] had one weblog, but a second one, which is more NSFW than NSFW^{34127809032p4}? I always wondered where his mandibula was

Miguel Cabrera thinks he’s Kelly Leak

I’d still like to kiss Jessica Stein

Can’t help you there dept: Camilla Belle getting a foot message

the 6-pack holder, still America’s #1 animalphobe

Buy the Original Athena Tennis Girl Outfit

[yep, the Daddle]
The Toaster made out of Toast!

Inflatable Chicken Protector

Hey Schjimi… Gimme a cheese with nuttin [El Grippe]

too hot

Game Over [vid]

The Pit of Carkoon [NSFW]

and it’s Wimbelodon (upon) thyme, YO! And besides INVASION, this can mean only one (more like three) things:

Game
Set
Snatch

[Keeley = mostly sweaty NSFW bestness]

Guess who rides my face and will soon be the face of Vera Wang? No, not Jazil, but said person, spank the lordidly, juss got a release date (8/25) for her Elisha Cuthsplurt über-hotslutness-fest, aka The Quiet. I advise anyone in the NYC area to not go and see it opening weekend as I will be buying every ticket and dropping my pants from scene one til kingdom cum

[mora]
Lucas wants Connery back for Indy 4

I want Lucas gone for 4 Ever

They named the dog Indiana

I went to Indiana

Sometimes I wish I was both gay and famous. Cause cock slurpin or not, every XYer love boobies

Apparently Marvel wasn’t so amused by Ang Lee’s climax featuring Nick Notle as super-electro-blah-blah man either

The Kubrick screenings galore at Queens’ MOMI are nice and all, but who’s coming with me later this year to Ghent, Belgium for the world touring SK eggzibit?

Or how bout to London to see Jennifer Ellison‘s boobs as Roxie Tart in Chicago? Yes, she can sing, or at least she’s been known to, as her song ‘I Don’t Care’ [d | WMvid] kinda proves. But who needs to hear when all one needs to do is leer (and I aint talkin about ‘reading’ in Spanish. yo, and I aint talkin about ‘I’ either, yo!) At least she isn’t traipsing around town, dressed up as a boy wizard…

[mora]
oops

What do David Bowie, Orlando Boo, Coldgayer Chris Martin, the real Harry Potter, Gandolf, Mrs Peel, and Stephen Fry all have in common? They is the latest fantabulous folks to enlist in Ricky G’s follow-up failure to the Office, Extras. Someone let me know when season two airs so I can cancel my HBO subscript

Rumor has it that if you beat the fork outta Dakota Fanning she’ll sing and dance like Elvis

Someone call Father Dowling or even the Coz cause wees got many Mike Skinner girl mysteries abound. I mean, who doesn’t wanna know who the ‘When You Wasn’t Famous’ girl is, or whomever Mrs ‘Fit But You Know It’ is be, since Mr St recently denied that Rachel Stevens waz the fittest who knew about it

Ziyi Zhang to make wangs pang in a live action Mulan?

Why are rock fans so stupid? GN’R UK Edition!

Zach Braff to get Mandy Moore all bombed and stoned, and shit

‘Mr. T is a good dude‘ [Alan J Pakula Shaker]

Carrie Porter loves to take advantage of tools and heads of radios

Welcome to Lily Allen (+ other musical fun) Central

‘Friday Night’ [d]
‘Friend of Mine’ [d]

[LA-HerSpace | MetroDis]
The return of Weird Al, bluntly

Flux Capacitor‘s got 2 tracks from Fiery Furnace brother Matt’s solo stazz. I’ve heard enuff to say that he should dump his sister on the side of the road, or wherever tits con-veen-yant for Alex K to pick her and her boots up

More Paris Hilton songs leak, luckily not complete versions. Is this a modern day Hanoi Hilton torture center? If so, John McCain and meself would like an early check out please

The coolest sdtrk no one’s ever heard of: All This and World War II, featuring Beatles covers by Peter Gabriel, Elton John, Rod Stewart, Keith Moon, and many mandy more. Be sure to try the Frank Valli ‘Day In A Life’ mp3 on for
size thighs

I’ve given up and given in to blog cent-say-shun Beirut. One twirl of ‘Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)’ [d] and you will be too

Enjoy the silence… er, or not!

Tell me you already discovered Party Ben‘s latest mash-up gem ‘Death Cab for Maddy’

And cause everyone loves mash-ups, or mashed potatoes if yer Sir Paul McSmartie [RetroSlice], here are two I’ve been Jaziling all over myself, spanks to P-Blister, which should be a daily visit for anyone with a thIghpod

Nicky T‘s ‘Crazy Wish’ [d]
Lenlow‘s ‘To The Taxmobile’ [d]

I think I’ll pass on the ’80s Puma Pedometers and try my hard-on-est to find these ’90s Apple Logo shoes given out to employees only

[A Tribe Called Viking Quest]
The 1st Annual Scolari Awards

Where is Podunk?

My Pet DMV

Man steals 60 Blockbuster video games – in his pants [Hackerzz]

Jerry Lewis doing his bestest JFK sucking glass imitation

Garindan or Gonzo?

Picture Of The Day

Civil war may break out one day in Michigan over who has the WORLD’s largest cherry pie

the breatest Phriday Photochop that I could never ever create

At least you’re not this guy…

And while we ready ourselves for USA’s first World Cup contest at 11:55am EST, feast yer thighs on the mos perspiring lower third boob showingist Brittie, Keeley Hazell (makes my) nutz (hexplode)

[mora where u came from]

Looks like someone went to hell and back yesterday…

[UMC]
…take me with you!!

Yes, I finally updated the right side of this site. And yes, Brooklyn Vegan has moved inches away from dethroning the World Beard & Mustache Championships for the top spot in my (lynx) heart (sorry Grambs, but u juss don’t post often enuff to keep atop my ATP rankins, all dough, So Dark The Con Of Vanegas is a klassic with a k, but not as classic as the Kostars(Luscious Jackson side project)’s Klassics with a K)! I mean, I check no site more often than the BV, even if he keeps turning down my offers for free bacon cheeseburgers, and without him, I wouldn’t know which bands I’m going to miss at the Siren Fest cause I’ll be too busy trying to work off dem junk food calories at the batting cages. Besides, praying to the guy who really hates foie gras, u’all should give some love to the new links in the cellar, hispecially my boy and king of thighly contributions, Zach de La Roachlip, who doesn’t care for what’s above, cause he’s all about DEATH FROM BELOW

Keanu, ready for the girl of his Reeves! Woooah!

Any Air news is… AIR NEWS!!!

Fiddler tips us to the trailers for Woody Allen’s 2nd adventure in Britannia and the Wicker Man remake mistake. First off, is there anything the Fiddler hasn’t tipped us to these days? And secondly, I’ll cut off yer johnsons, but not nearly as much as the whole One Day In September/Munich shaz, if you don’t Netflix the original Wicker Man, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

What’s the bestest thing Brittany Murphy has appeared in since Clueless? Her and Paul Oakenfold’s ‘duet’, ‘Faster Kill Pussycat’ [vid]. Personally, I think Oaky as found the winning recipe for Murphy tolerance: limit her to 3 1/4 minutes of air time!

Korhneiser, talksin bout Ricky Williams’ defection to Canaduh, and what it sez on the ‘plaque’ of the CFL, ‘Give us you tired, you poor, and your whizzinators, and Lazarus‘ So tell me again why aren’t you DVRing the best darn sports show MT EVERwood?

Skeeter, I hearts you like mad (cow disease spread all over Hitler’s mother’s vagina), but if I can’t get thru Horton Hears a Who!, how the hell am I gonna get thru yer 6,079 worded behemoth of a post?

13 Memorably Unpopular Characters From Popular TV

Child Costume: Toilet!

Taking a dump, in FLIPBOOK mode!!

Catputer!!!

Dungeon Escape!!!!

Photographs of Harry Enfield!!!!!

For Sale: Judah Friedlander’s microwave!!!!!!

“Пока смерть не разлучит нас” похоже устарело:) Японские “трупы” женяться (8 фото)!!!!!!!

and triple peace the fork out goes to Space Ghost, the 19th 5th Beatle, and some Egyptian actress!!!!!!!!

But why the Egyptian actress that no one’s ever heard of besides Anwar Sadat, and not say, ump Eric Gregg? Cause a woman with a silly headpiece is always funnier than a fat guy who’s fat. I think it was Robespierre who said that, and that’s why he’s no longer with us. Stoopid racist French pig who was always wearing ROBES!!

…for next season’s 24

endless Chinese water torture
at the hands of the always Lethal
Al Leong

who has
‘must appear shirtless’
written in to all of his contractsChloe’s outta nowhere
gay ex-husband
becomes the next President

or the new Mrs Miles Papazian

while former President
Richard M Nixon Logan
breaks outta Arkham Asylum

and terrorizes the city
under his new moniker
llon Tandro

while Cuthies
at Soul Man’s insistence
becomes a terrorist porn star

and sez
‘Don’t you want to f#ck me, you capitalist pig?’
ad infinitum

while Cuthies mountainous stalker
Johnny Drama

gets leg implants
and becomes the new 4head of CTU

while Edgar’s Italian mafia
pals avenge his death

while he’s porkin Vito in heaven

while Kiefer
enlists the
Lost Boys sax playa
to help save the world
from Christopher Henderson

who has been resurrected as Robocop
and out to make the world eat maggots

Leon spinks I forgot all about our current and mos luscious jackson of Her Royal Thighnesseses, Camilla Who Rungeth Ma Albert’s Liberty Taco Belle? I didn’t, but you did, you JERKS and JERKETTES! Well, she got into a bit o trouble a few months back and had waz forced to go all underground hiding and shit thru Thighland’s Jehovah Witness Relocation Program. They totally made her ditch her identity and loosen her panties and made her up to look like the Baroness, for her own security, and for my own sick perverted animated porn fantasies with the first lady of Cobra

But she’s back-tion like Action Jackson (if they ever went all sequel on us and stuff), and been busier and bustier than ever, with my doctor ordered 18 daily HJs, tossing out all the bananas from our bags of Runts, and the mos daunting task of dem all, taking Sio Jr and Edgar Jr to Hebrew school. You can’t imagine how much of my DNA dem kids gots. I never wanted to go either, and I complained so much to my rents that they took me out.

Two things that should be important, but really isnaren’t: Bonds on Babe and Marissa Coop flying the coop

Two things no one ever wanted to see together: Cuthbert AND rape

60 minutes well spent that you probsbbsbsly spent elsewhere, like watching crap on CrapTV: 60 Minutes‘s 60 minutes of nuttin but Mike Wallace. I doubt it’ll be this grand when Morley Safer calls it quits

Paris Hilton has delayed the release of her debut album because she wants to include a cover of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy [Menyinc] If we count our lucky starz, maybe she’ll delay it even more than more and cover ‘Ebony and Ivory’ with Perez! Can you say Apocalypse 91 now?

¿¿¿Tommy Hilfiger pummeled Axl Rose??? What? Did Hilf throw Buckethead’s bucket over W Rose’s head, at Rosario’s b-day shabang?

EW operation dumbo dropped The 25 Best Music Websites in their shlumble opinion. I think they’re a bunch of effin carnivores, cause how else could they explain the omission of the single bestest music site on the interwebs/nets/netwebs, Brooklyn Vegan. Bastages!! I bet if they did a Top 25 Thigh-Related sites thingamajig, we wouldn’t even make the top million billion

Flyest semi-undiscovered singer I last mentioned in Rocktober of ’04 but wanted to bring to yer attention 1nce again cause I came all over across her myspace page and she’s still mad fly and I’m totally headICKted to her knees’ beesish song ‘Here With You’: Marie’ Digby

Sites that juss went live, that aren’t really lively: CWTelly, Casino Royal, and Lily Allen

Grading the Career of Tom Hanks’s Hair [Mini Soda Vikings]

The royal tongue

Dirk Loves Hasselhoff

Don Knotts, Richard Pryor Team Up For Madcap Haunting

When THEY were young, which should not be confused with the long lost Great Outdoorer Chris Young

Carnie Wilson, preggers or inhaling bacon again?

Rita Wilson, for those of you with an appreciation…

Duncan aint gots nuttin on this Hinds

Covers will tear us apart

We refuse to link to 10 Things I Hate About Commandments… I’ve had funnier pimples on my a$$. I’ve also had your mother, but only I found that funny

Is it possible to make love to all of des vintage NFL posters? Or would poking a hole for my shlong ruin their value? I dunno, someone call Beckett

The ONLY Chuck Norris animated gif you need to see today [My Man Marv]

The ONLY NSFW animated gif you need to see today

Nipple sucking [NSFW]

Really Bad Tattoos Pts 1, 2, & 3

Ear Wax Candy

ZOOperstars! [Poon]

Waffle House, please take
note

70,000 Beer Cans Found in Ogden Townhouse [DataQue?]

Northwestern Women’s Soccer Team Initiation Includes Pictures of Bondage, Lap Dances, and Simulated Sex Acts [You Sonkin My Battleship]

Ronald hunts McFly, YTMD staz

What’s for dinner?

And from the music video annals of my middle schoolish anus:

ABC’s ‘Iesha’
+
Technotronic’s ‘Get Up’
Roxette’s ‘The Look’ + [d]
Young MC’s ‘Bust A Move’ + [d]
Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch’s ‘Good Vibrations’ + [d]
Peter Gabriel’s ‘Steam’
The Proclaimers’ ‘500 Miles’ + [d]
RHCP’s ‘Under The Bridge’ + [d]
Gerardo’s ‘Rico Suave’ + [d]
Tony! Toni! Tone!’s ‘Feels Good’
Black Crowes’ ‘Hard to Handle’ + [d]
Sir Mix A Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ + [d]
Edie Brickell And The New Bohemian’s ‘What I Am’ + [d]
Billy Idol’s ‘Cradle of Love’
Beastie Boys’ ‘So What’cha Want’ + [d]
Alannah Myles’ ‘Black Velvet’ [d]
Soul II Soul’s ‘Back to Life’ + [d]
Fine Young Cannibals’ ‘She Drives me Crazy’ + [d]
Stereo MCs’ ‘Connected’
any Guns N’ Roses, but in pardick, ‘Garden Of Eden’ + [d]
Boyz II Men’s ‘Motownphilly’
The Belle Stars’ ‘Iko Iko’ + [d]
Cathy Dennis’ ‘Touch Me (All Night Long)’
Lucas’ ‘Lucas With The Lid Off’
U2’s ‘Mysterious Ways’ + [d]
Divinyls’ ‘I Touch Myself’ + [d]
(her boobs single handedly got me thru all of 1992,
pun and no pun intended)
Londonbeat’s ‘I’ve Been Thinking About You’
Ice T’s ‘New Jack Hustler’
Go West’s ‘King of Wishful Thinking’
Martika’s ‘Toy Soldiers’ + [d]
MC Hammer’s ‘Too Legit To Quit’
REM’s ‘Losing My Religion’ + [d]
Michael Penn’s ‘No Myth’ + [d]
Kris Kross’s ‘Jump’ + [d]
Utah Saints feat Kate Bush ‘Something Good’ + [d]
House of Pain’s ‘Jump Around’ + [d]
PM Dawn’s ‘Set Adrift On Memory Bliss’
Dee-Lite’s ‘Groove is in the Heart’ + [d]
Biz Markie’s ‘Just a Friend’ + [d]
The Traveling Wilburys’ ‘End of the Line’
Ice Cube’s ‘Wicked’
C&C Music Factory + F’dom Williams’ ‘Gonna Make You Sweat’ + [d]
Anthrax & Public Enemy ‘Bring the Noise’
TMBG’s ‘Birdhouse In Your Soul’ + [d]
Cypress Hill’s ‘Hand On The Pump’ + [d]
Nelson’s ‘(Can’t Live Without Your) Love And Affection’
Big Audio Dynamite’s ‘Rush’
Wilson Philips’s ‘Hold On’
Partners In Kryme’s ‘Turtle Power’ + [d]
Catherine Wheel’s ‘Black Metallic’ +[d]
Suzanne Vega’s ‘Tom’s Diner’ + [d]
The KLF’s ‘3am Eternal’ + [d]
Bel Biv DeVoe’s ‘Do Me’ & ‘Poison’ [d]
Pearl Jam’s ‘Porch (Unplugged)’ + [d]
and cause I can never get enuff of it
Snap!’s ‘Rhythm Is A Dancer’ [d, again]

I’m sure I’ve missed some, but I’m only human and I have to sleep at some point, hispecially with some French Open and crab eating in my near future. What bout you’alls? What was up yer anus during yer middle schoolish daze, when we didn’t have good taste in music, we hung on Adam Curry‘s every word and cassingles were the Bar Mitzvah DJ’s giveaway of choice?