Thighs Wide Shut

How did Resident Bush react to Stephen Colbert’s roast-tissere?

What do the new Radiohead tunes sound like?

Who ironically does 2-D(amon Albarn) want to duet with on the next Gorillaz album?

Where can you see a sheetload of beards and ‘staches in the NYC area?

When one sees something odd coming outta Japan, can we still blame Hiroshima? [NSFW via Marwanicur]

&

Why does it always rain on me? [d]

Dude,

To make a long story short, too late [wav], I went to the toon-less Gorillaz show on Sunday, sold my tickets to Wednesday’s show, so I could take in my Nats beating up on the Mets at Chez Ghetto Shea, in sub-zero April conditions, with the dude from Queensrÿche singing the national anthem and Jim Breüer throwing out the first pitch, so anywayz, the guy who bought my Wednesday tickets thought the tickets were for Thursday, so he shows up last night and BAMMM realizes his error. Tough luck. My heart goes out to you kid. But THEN, I’m sittin in my fat condo overlooking the Hudson, doing my laundry, washing my balls, you know, a typical Thursday night, a lightbulb goes off in my head (and I invented the flux capacitor) , and without further ado, I checked ole reliable (c’s list) for any desperate peeps trying to dump their Thursday night Gorillaz tix at the last minute. I contacted the only person who had left a cell # in their posting, cause it was proably too late to catch someone by email, and after haggling with him for all of 8 seconds, like I was Hacksaw Jim Dugan or something, I got him to sells it to me for 20 bones under its face + BS ticketbastard priced value. Turns out these seats were better than Sunday’s, the cartoons did work, Dennis Hopper did read, and once again, Ike Turner did wear something funky AND the Gorillaz did puts on one of the mos enjoyable 70 minutes anyone could have possib-bllyen ever did see. And you won’ts bee leave me, but I actually preferred the toon-less version on Sunday night. It’s the music, not the look. Someone pass that message along to the Strokes. Re-guard-lezzz, 2nd best Gorillaz show I’ve seen this week by far, and mos def bestest spontaneous moment of me’s in the 00’s. Albarn = albest, ad infinitum. Bless your soul

+ I spotted David Gilmour at the show, and possibly someone who looks like Nick Mason, or was it Richard Wright, or was it George Mason?
+ Music Snob turns his stalkin and smooching (?) towards Damon Albest… Lucky bastage

Now I feel kinda embarrassed that I dubbed tATu’s D&M album the tops o’ der year 0-5, not cause it’s tATu, cause they’re better than the Rolling Stones, but cause Demon Days deserved that honor, but not juss for last year, but of this new century, which is by far the wurstest century I’ve ever lived it. Thanks Republicans!!!

But is all the Gorillaz magic dunzo like dumbo drinkin that courvoisier?

Meanwhile, Albarn coconspirator Alex James has apparently been having a pow-wow with Betty Boo. Can you say ‘Wigwam’ by Wigwam [d, vis JJ Binks]… which juss happens to be the fourth breastest song of the week behind Ghostface + Wu-Tang’s ‘9 Milli Bros’ [d], Gnarls Bizzle ‘s ‘Gone Daddy Gone’, and of course, still at #1, WUBBA-WUBBA, ‘Crazy’, (you can find those ‘d’s two posts below, son!)

And

Cuthbest, officially Canandanada’s Patron of Sexy Hair

and

PINDERRR!!!

*hispecially if yer in NYC dat is

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1) Sell A Kidney & Go See The Gorillaz at The Apollo Theater – We caught last night’s show, and we muss say, worth every penny… that my sperm donations coughed up. I mean, when else are you going to go to the Apollo Theater? Sure, the animation screen center-peace was esta roto (that’s ‘broken’ for you non-Nine Inch Nails fans), but I hactually believe that that was a happy accident. Why? Well, I caught the awkward multi-media-a-thon that was the Feb 2002 show at Hammerstein, where the music was pitch-perfect, but the performance was too impersonal. Watching people play in silhouettes, while cartoons play on a giant screen doesn’t make for a most user-friendly evening.

So tonight, when the cartoons were forcibly given the night off, the focus was solely on the musicians, who no longer could hide behind the screen. Sans Dennis Hopper and MF Doom, who’s mask was probably still at the dry cleaners, every guest star from the album showed up to bring Demon Days to life, track by track. AND OH BOY DID THEY!!! Highlights include De La Soul’s Pasemaster Mase’s endless ha-ha-ha laff, Rosie Wilson’s backing vocals outshining Shaun Ryder’s on ‘DARE’ (when I was ass-raping myself), and the kids choir from the Terry Wright Project, who seemed to enjoy themselves more than the subdued crowd (I SAY BOO YOU BLOODY YANKS). Attending this show was indeed an honor, for it is one of only 10 performances of its kind that will ever be staged. Sure, it was only 70 minutes long, but what more could one ask for? Well, since we’re asking, how bout bringing out Del Tha Funkee Homosapien for ‘Clint Eastwood’? Want more? Music Snob goes the distance + pics (like the one knicked above) vis a BV

2) Munch @ MoMA – Dude, 10th best art-ease-it of balls thyme gets a royal treatment in midtown. And if you see this eggzibition, you’ll never have to visit Oslo, Norway, EVER! Unless, of course, you win a Nobel Peace Prize, or something.

3) Biennial @ The Whitney – Not nearly as grand as the three I’ve seen since 2000, but there’s always interestingness abound when the Biennial takes over NY’s third home of art. And although all video art muss be banned, I think everyone has to give Francesco Vezzoli’s trailer for his faux remake of Gore Vidal’s Caligula a peep. I mean, women sucking on strap-ons is never a bad thing, right?

4) Soul Food @ Amy Ruth’s – Smothered fried chicken, mac n cheese, and candied yams… my trifecta of heaveness-ness. It’s up to you whether you want to wash it down with fresh lemonade or the Kool-Aid of the day

5) Re-Watch Last Night’s Sopranos – Cause any episode where Paulie Walnuts is king, is king!!

6) Netflix The Squid & The Whale – duhvs

7) Celebrate College Basketball Tonight – Even dough George Mason is gone, but not forgotten, after tonight, it’s nothing but basebore until NFL preaseason. Wake me up in August, but in the meantime GO NATS!!!

8) Shave Your Grundle – or ELSE!!!

For giving it to me…

Leisure – 1991
‘There’s No Other Way’ [d]

Modern Life Is Rubbish – 1993
‘Villa Rosie’ [d]

Parklife – 1994
‘This Is A Low’ [d]

The Great Escape – 1995
‘Yuko & Hiro’ [d]

Trainspotting Soundtrack – 1996
‘Closet Romantic’ [d]

Blur – 1997
‘Song 2’ [d]

13 – 1999
‘Tender’ [d]

Ordinary Decent Criminal Soundtrack – 2000
‘Dying Isn’t Easy’ [d]

Gorillaz – 2001
’19-2000 (Soulchild Remix)’ [d]

Mali Music – 2002
‘Spoons’ [d]

Think Tank – 2003
‘Crazy Beat’ [d]

Democrazy – 2003
‘I Need A Gun’ [d]

Demon Days – 2005
‘Feel Good Inc’ [d]

¡BONUS!
Chemical World Single – 1993
cover of Rod Stewart’s
‘Maggie May’ [d]

The future is coming on?

Untitled Gorillaz Project (2007)

Super Crazy Ludacris Hologram World Tour (2007-2008?)

Blur Album (Never?)

Interplanetary Domination (TBD)

Happy 38th to the one dude I’d totally go gay for (b’sides Jude, Diego, Mr. Monopoly, and possibly Eddie), who also juss so happens to have the bestest human singing voice on the 3rd rock from the sun cock from the bun. And Damon, like Andy, please don’t ever die

BREAKING NEWS:

Fresh off opening the 48th Annual Grammy Awards alongside Madonna and taking home the Pop Collaboration with Vocals award, GORILLAZ will now receive yet another Stateside honor: the U.S. production of the DEMON DAYS LIVE tribute concerts.

Confirmed for April 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 at Harlem’s famed Apollo Theater, DEMON DAYS LIVE will feature the guest musicians from GORILLAZ’ worldwide multi-million-seller Demon Days recreating ‘Feel Good Inc.’, ‘DARE’ and the album’s other classics live onstage.

Confirmed guest performers joining Demon Days producer/Gorillaz collaborator Damon Albarn in bringing each and every track to life will include De La Soul, Ike Turner, Bootie Brown of the Pharcyde, Neneh Cherry, Happy Mondays’ Shaun Ryder, UK rapper Roots Manuva, with others to be announced.

Tickets for DEMON DAYS LIVE will go on sale Friday March 10 at 11 a.m. EST through Ticketmaster.

DEMON DAYS LIVE is not to be confused with the unprecedented live holographic tour the Gorillaz team and animation house Passion Pictures are currently producing for 2007-2008. The live Gorillaz shows will be a unique cross between live performance and a theme park experience, with the band fully present onstage, rendered in 3 eye-popping dimensions. Crucially, the show will evolve over the life of the tour, like any live performance, will feature stellar guests from Demon Days, and will ultimately bring the unique visual identity created by Jamie Hewlett to a live audience.

[via BV & PS]

What it gonna sound like? D-lode the stellarly recorded MP3s from one of their Manchester shows and hear fo yo self!!