Thighs Wide Shut

The Social Network
Turn On, Log In, Cash Out
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Cocky Boston college kids get rich beyond their wildest dreams and hot chicks beyond their wildest wet dreams, thanks to a lil backhandedness and most importantly, brains!!  No, we’re not talking about Ben Mezrich’s fun book Bringing Down The House about the M.I.T.ers who beatdown Vegas, and the not-so fun movie adaptation 21 starring Kevin Spacey, but we ARE talking about another Mezrich work, and it too apparently involves Spacey. Ben’s Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal has been given the big screen treatment (Spacey as Producer), with overly whip & whit-smart dialog by Aaron Sorkin, and the unnecessary for this material directing greatness of David Fincher (who employed Spacey in Se7en).  And the results?  No, it’s not the Citizen Kane of the 21st century, the movie that defines a generation, or even the best of the year (a lil too early to tell, being September and all + there’s Fish Tank and Enter The Void?????), but it’s 3983283484 times the movie 21 was and it’s directed by David Fincher, so therefore it’s beyond beautiful and utterly fantastic (Ben Borings Buttons was an exception to HE RULES!!!!), although it’s no Zodiac, which IS one of the best movies of the past 10+ years, so there!  We will say that it’s probably the bestest internet related movie since the birth of the internets!!  INTERNETS!!!!!

So what’s the story of The Facebook anywayszz?  Is it even all that interesting and worth telling?  As a whole, no, but the real life characters involved and their strained relationships with one another are worth the exploration/exploitation.  There’s the face of the Book, the crafty/shifty Mark Zuckerberg (the always cerebral, and for once spiteful Jesse Eisenberg!), and all those he left in the dust on the way to zillions, who, in turned sued his pants off, like his former BFF and initial investor Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield, of Andrew Garfield Minus Andrew Garfield fame), and his over-privileged business partners of all of 8 seconds who’s ideas he nicked, rowing twins Cameron Winklevoss & Tyler Winklevoss (a perfectly WASPy Armie Hammer pulling double duty, who even met the real twins he played!) and Divya Narendra (Max Minghella).  There’s also the woman (Rooney Mara, the American Lisbeth Salander) who broke Zuck’s heart, and in turn motivated him to think big, and the man who stole his, Napsterer Sean Parker (a decent Justin Timberlake, although wethinks Mark-Paul Gosselaar should be getting all of his roles), who pushed him to think even bigger!

And yet the real stars aren’t the actors, but the mood makers.  Word em ups to Sorkin, and his whirlwind and sirprizngly funny script.  Hear, hear big time to Trent Reznor(!!!!) and Atticus Ross and their haunting, pulsating score.  And the eyes have it for cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth, who makes Harvard’s campus look like the next haunting grounds of… THE ZODIAC!!!  And speaking of Zodiac, is there any active director more on top of his game than Fincher?  Is he 5reals?  Can he figure out a way to direct 10 movies a year????  Seriously, how’d Ben Buttons turn out to be such a missfire?  Can he direct Zodiac again???  No, seriously, can he?  Cause if Social Network walks away with the Best Pic Oscar on February 27th, which wouldn’t be a shocker or undeserved, why can’t/didn’t Zodiac?????  IT DIDN’T EVEN GET ONE NOMINATION!!!!!!!!!  Doesn’t matter, cause they Academy Awards never get it right.  Always a bunch of make up calls or juss too late on everything and everyone.  See Danny Boyle and his Trainspotting vs him and his gold-statuette minted Slumdog Millionaire as a perfect example

ZODIAC!!!!

And oh yeah, nice to see Zodiac alum John Getz as Zuck’s lawyer!!!

and oh yeah,

ZODIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Become A Fan: of these Social hotties!!!

Brenda Song

Felisha Terrell (not Owens)

Caitlin Gerard

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

The Network gets wired at a theater near jews this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Zodiac
Period Piece of Art
Trailer & Mo

Within the very first scene of Zodiac, we are not only introduced to the titular killer and his dirty work, but we are also reintroduced to David Fincher who’s masterful talent has been sorely missed. His last film dropped in the ’02, but Panic Room was a far cry from where he left off before that in the ’99, with the beyond brills Fight Club. So I’ve basically been waitin and waitin for 8 long years for the director who I’ve worshiped above all the cool mid to late 90s directors (Tarantino, Boyle, Jonze, Singer, and yes, even Aronofsky) to deliver the goods. Zodiac not only fulfilled that Fincher bestness void, but also the void of fantab flicks to be released so far in the ’07. While there’s many moons and suns to go before Dec 31st, I still feel confident in naming it one of the best films of the year

Fincher has already shown that’s he jason capel-able of making a thumcredible serial killer flick. I mean, once could argue that Se7en is even more engaing than Silence of the Lambs, but Zodiac isn’t a serial killer movie. Sure, it’s about a serial killer, but it’s more of a spooky Unsolved Mysteriesish journalistic investigation, a neverending one at that since the killer was never caught, into the events that brought northern Cali to it’s knees in the late 60s and early 70s. When I walked out of the theater I wanted to know every single in and out about the case (gawd bless Zodiackiller.com). I hadn’t been so keen in seeking out the truth since Oliver Stone’s JFK mesmerized me beyond belief when I was all of 14 years of age… if only Spike Lee’s complete misfire Summer of Sam had worked the same magic

While I wished that Inland Empire‘s runtime was 3 minutes instead of 3 hours, I wouldn’t have minded if Zodiac was 2 1/2+ days long instead of 2 1/2+ hours. Tits dat good folks. Welcome back Finchy. Never leave me hangin like that again or I’ll have to throw all my love to the other Finchy for good!

Apt MPupil3: Donovan’s beyond bananas bestness ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man‘ [d] which will forever make me think of this film

Deja View: No, Zodiac aint the first time that Jake Gyllenhaal & John Carroll Lynch peered into each other’s eyes. Hell, it aint even the second time! The two first appeared together as father and son in Bubble Boy, followed by The Good Girl, where JCL was JG’s boss at the Retail Rodeo

Killer Looks: Zodiac Watches

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show•

Rental Round Up(dog)

Colour Me Kubrick
[Trailer]

One of the sadest things a Thigh Master has to deal with on a day-to-day basis is the fact that there will never be another Stanley Kubrick film ever. Since his death and the release of this site’s cousin Eyes Wide Shut in 1999, we’ve been slowly dying ourselves. So any time anything Kubrickianishesque gets released, it’s naturally that we get a bit nutty. Luckily for me, these releases have all eased my pain. We totally JOed to the mishmash that was Spielberg’s take on A.I., and we really dig-dug the not so revealing yet intriguing doc Stanley Kubrick: A Life In Pictures, by his bro-in-law Jan Harlan, and on the last go around, at the ’06 Tribeca Film Fest, we went bananas for Colour Me Kubrick (in America, we leave out the ‘u’). To quote ourselves, Colour Me is the loose fictionalization of conman Alan Conway’s amazing mid 90s London exploits as a Kubrick impersonator that not only is hilarious, but is by far the mos humorous John Malkovich (who plays Conway) film to date. We gave it a rating of Breast In Show and will still stand by that. It’s another one of these Magonlia Pic Day & Date Premiere thangies. Shiz opens in theaters and HDNet today, and will be available on DVD next week. Seek it out, like I seek out the truth about the Zodiac killah!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…