Thighs Wide Shut

I gay for the bay!

no US city has views like this!!!!

always gotta hit up the touristy sites

I’ve got nothing but love and HAIGHT (that pun will never not be awesome) for this city

where the streets have names, and are curved, for everyone’s pleasure

https://instagram.com/p/8EHvzHm38T/

did the Jewish slaves erect this one too?

the Coppolas own this sweet a$$ building

this Palace is a hotel!

lets try 8 mini beers!!

but will I pass the test????

or get knocked out?

https://instagram.com/p/8EYPrBG38g/

or catch on fire?

https://instagram.com/p/8CwbvFm3-2/

but the drinks aren’t the only thing that be loaded

and who doesn’t want their salad tossed and dressed in front of their own eyes?

https://instagram.com/p/8E8Us8m35Q/

I went NUTS for mini donuts!!!

https://instagram.com/p/8H2wGLm32p/

you can smell this, right?  or at least my farts from it, right???

sorry if the puns feel old, and that I’m phoning it in

but things are on the rise, out there in the Napa Valley

where the wine flows like overpriced restaurants

and where the only storms are castle storming

and all the rooms have views

and all the hills have (my) eyes

what, you think I was going to the SF area and do zero Zodiac zsleuthing???

didn’t find Z, but did go to Lake Berryessa, where those poor kids were stabbed 46 years ago

place was super creepy & quiet… I was actually a little bit frightened

but me & the Mrs survived, and rode another vacation off into the glorious sunset

–

perv-iously

Old Bay Seasoning

A Fine Line Between Love And Haight

San Frandisco – easily America’s greatest non-ranch farts city

if you’ve never been, you might as well leave for Uranus, and orbit your own anus

I mean, where else you gonna see this sight???

ALCATRAZ!!!

bars none, one of the illest places to visit

it water TOWERS over all other prisons!!!

for birdmen and birdwomen everywhere!!!

i mean, if you had to go to one prison, wouldn’t you want to go here????

I mean, they have their own baseballs!!!

speaking of baseballsss

made my first ever visit to Pac-Bell/AT&T/Verizon/Bell Atlantic Park to see mees Nats lose 2 games

where Coke plays catch, and Sully from Monsters Inc is a true San Fran Giant!!!

ok, maybe that was a stretch

at the super dope Musée Mécanique, where they gots ye olde thyme arcade games and erotic movies!

but nothing beats this 7-11 deal

except eating Mexican food and using a corn cob to wipe yer butt

oh Mexican food, why you taste so good, but hurt butts so much??

but my butt was way OK with the House of Prime Rib

but my favorite restaurant on earth isn’t even a restaurant – it’s a chocolatier – See’s Candies

oh San Fran, why are you more beautiful than India Reynolds?

and why aren’t all gates painted orange vermillion like yer golden ones???

and why aren’t all hills this alive???

and why did Paul Stine have to die?

and why do a bunch of yer buildings look like the 70s version of the future (which is my favorite version of the future)????

OK, time to step out, cause this house is full

perv-iously…

A Fine Line Between Love And Haight