Tag Archives: Jacob’s Ladder

Mask No Questions

Sleep No More
The McKittrick Hotel
offical site | tickets
now thru June 25th

A woman hands you a playing card and tells you to walk up a set of stairs.  You follow her instruction, and after reaching the top, all light has disappeared and darkness surrounds you, as you continue to make your way somewhere, but have no clue where.  Things quickly become disorienting and possibly even a bit scary.  Fret not, you’ll soon (or eventually) find your way, even blindly, into the safe confines of the McKittrick Hotel’s red-lit bar, where you’ll soon embark on Sleep No More, an unforgettable one-of-a-kind journey and experience you won’t soon forgot, OR WANT TO!!

Once your card is called, yer briefed on the very brief set of rules – you have to wear a white Venetian/Eyes Wide Shut orgy-like mask at all times, you are not allowed to talk at all times, and everything else is pretty much ON limits, most importantly, touching stuff!  If something is off limits (no photography, OBVS!), someone in a black mask will let you know.  Wait, what the heck is this?  Nothing like anything we’ve or you’ve ever done did before!  So, sharpen those senses, shut yer yap and let the fun unfold, at your own pace!

You get to literally roam free, a true Choose Your Own Adventure, in the ‘hotel’ (named after a location in Vertigo)’s six floors and zillions of rooms.  The rooms are all over the cinematic map – one minute you’ll feel like you’re walking thru Norman Bates’ Victorian home (and hearing Bernard Herrmann’s score), the next, The Shining‘s Overlook hotel, and the next, the psycho wards of Jacob’s Ladder, and the next? Some other heeby-jeeby flick that’s made yer skin crawl

While yer exploring, a play is being staged (Shakespeare’s Macbeth… hence the title), but it’s up to you if you want to follow the story and characters (you can literally follow them as they run around the place), or juss dig through their actual drawers (or candy jars!).  We opted for the latter, but you can do whatever the funk you want.  That’s the beauty of this – it’s what you make of it.  So if you want to have a lame time, you will have one!  Probably not though, since the place/play is quite low on lame-ness

If yer in New York over the next two months, you have to do this.  It’s a piece of theater that’s worth the price of admission, cause it’s nothing like theater.  And please, go in with an open mind, wide set of eyes, a well rested body, and most importantly, someone you don’t want to talk to for 2-3 hours

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Tutu For Cocoa Puffs

Black Swan
Perfection Has It’s Price
AND THE PRICE IS BEYOND AWESOMESZEZZ!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

In the race for American cinema auteur awesomeness, there’s Darren Aronofsky and Ben Affleck David Fincher, and (although Christopher Nolan’s got skillz) that’s it!!!!!!!  It’s a battle we hope that never ends, as the two continually bring it HARDCORE film after film… with a couple minor, yet very inspired eggceptions.  In Finchy’s case, it’s Benjamin Snoozefest and for DA, it’s his budget-restricted messy mess that is The Fountain.  One sorta miss is nothing compared to the 4 unforgettable dynamite productions under his belt.  His latest, Black Swan is that forth flick and it is nothing short of WOWEE ZOWEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s as manic as Requiem, as mystical as Ï€, and as go for broken as The Wrestler.  Black Swan is essentially the same movie as The Wrestler (ending included????), but with a ♀ doin all the abusing to her body for the profession that owns her life – BALLETING!!!!!

And in the race for the White Swan AND Black Swan dual role in Swan Lake in the duality dualtastic Black Swan are three beautiful ballerina brunettes that no man, woman or child would kick out of bed, even if that bed was made of nails and horse poop: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis and Winona Ryder.  Hard Ryder is yesterday’s forgotten news (but in our world’s SHE’S EVERYDAY NEWS CAUSE WE LOVE HER MORE THAN WE LOVE FRIED CHICKEN), Porcelain Portman is today’s shaken AND stirred edition, and kool-eyed kool-whipped Kunis is all tomorrow’s party.  Add worn-in faced Barbara Hershey as Natalie’s no wire hangers‘/they’re all going to laugh at you‘ mum and vicious Vincent ‘married to Monica Belluci’ Cassel as the ringmaster of this black & white with a splash of red crazytownedness circus, and what you’ve got is the f$%king looniest screen trip we’ve adored and been horrified by since Jacob’s Ladder

Swan also gots crotch grabs, crotch grabbing, groping, Mila Kunis’ eyes, Portman’s toenails, Portman’s fingernails, Portman fingering herself, and some of the fiercest acting performances put to celluloid (will we no longer use that word when shiz all goes 100% digital projection?) in 2010 (Portman will win the Oscar, but wee is totes on team Jarvis, and Cassel deserves to win the Supporting one).  Did we have you had ‘crotch grab’?  You should have been had at ‘Aronofsky’

Toidfact: Darren’s father Abraham Aronofsky has appeared in all 5 of his feature films

We’d Dive For This Swan!!:  normal name, above normal hotness…

Janet Montgomery!!!!  although Janet, explain this!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show times like 83838!!!!

Swan is currently laking its chops in limited release!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Carbs Rule Everything Around Me

Rock The Bells
Governors Island
August 28th

Bells were rocked at Rock The Bells, and sometimes they weren’t rocked at all, this past Saturday on Shutter Island.  Was it all a 7 layer dream, or was DiCaprio the killa bee on the swarm?????  What are we talkings about?  Dunno.  It was a hazy shade of a summer day out there on that isle, where we stayed awhile and did Coke in the Coke Den

no silly, it was the kind of Coke that you dranks, not that powdery shit you put up your nose that does nothing but keep you up til 6am and makes yer jaw twitch more than that dude’s head in Jacob’s Ladder

check out these other hot photos of Coked up Bells Rockaszzz

Boy oh boyzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!  Slick Rick was slick AND Rick.  KRS-One was like KRS-2.  Rakim paid us in full.  Jedi Mind Tricks didn’t work on us.  THOSE AREN’T THE DROIDS WE WERE LOOKING FOR!!!  Maybe these two were the ones we were looking for…

Lauryn Hill’s set was an absolute mess, but think that had more to do with the fact that she used a live band to support her jams and that band sounded like scooby DOO-DOO POOP POOP.  Very disappointing, but at least she showed up (late), as opposed to snot at all, like she did in MD yesterday (stop making excuses Talib).  No worries dun sun, cause Tribe Called Quest KICKED IT, YES THEY CANS.  No doubtttles they dids!!!!!!!!!!  5ft assasin wit the ruff neck bidness, and then the Clan took to the stage and we all screamed PROTECT YA NECK, cause our necks were so rockings the bells from THEIR AWESOMENESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!  think we’ve now seen em in concert like 5 times and everytime it’s like water for chocolate and a touch of heaven and a touch of mink!!! WU-TANG 5EVAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!  we skipped Snoop cause West Coast is the durst coast and Nate Dogg wasn’t there and we had to escape Stutter Island before the movie got too out of hand

here’s a gross and phillaic and sugar coated image of me and Joe E Tätä Esq for your indigestion…

DINNER OF CHAMPIONS!!!!!!

Perv-e-us-lee on Bells Del Rock:
2008, La Di Da Di We Like To Party Like It’s 1992-1995

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