Thighs Wide Shut

Lee Daniels’ The Butler
Injustice Is Served, Then Swerved
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 132 min

If The Help met Forrest Gump it would look a lot like Lee Daniels‘s The Butler – an overly eager to please & overly sentimental look at an actual dude who actually butled at The White House through EIGHT administrations, and how the civil rights era unfolded before his (in the form of Forest Whitaker), all those the Presidents’ (John Cusack with a pointy nose! Alan Rickman with a squint! Liev Schreiber on the shitter! Robin Williams being serious! and James Marsden being AMAZINGS AS JFucK!!!!!!) and society’s eyes, with plenty of artistic licences to spare  

The film covers a LOT of ground, and tries to shove every last bit o’ black history into it (who knew that the fictionalized version of the butler’s son – played by David Oyelowo - was involved and attended EVERY single movement & event ever – the Greensboro sit-ins, the Freedom Rides, Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game, MLK’ assassination, Blank Panther meetings, anti-Apartheid rallies, the recording sessions for Michael Jackson’s Thriller), but what it didn’t need to do is waste too much time on the butler’s home life, which it did, which was a waste, which means there’s WAY too much Oprah Winfrey in this movie, and all she does is drink, then play around, then doesn’t, then complains about her butler husband not being around, then happy to have him around, and then meeting Jane Fonda and then whatever dot net  

Still, the movie does what it sets out to do, even if it feels like a whitewashed wikipedia version of the Civil Rights era (strange that white guy - Danny Strong – scripted such an African-American story).  Anywho, props de leon go out to the butler’s butler pals Cuba Gooding Jr, Lenny Kravitz and Colman Domingo who SERVE the film well, even if the film is a lil tooooo self-serving

Robot & Frank
Does Compute
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

Frank (Frank Langella) is a lonely man, left to his own devices, which includes sitting around reading books, and eating crappy food, and having his memory slip by the day.  His children (all bidness James Marsden and earth-toned Liv Tyler) are concerned, so the son drops off a robot helper (installed with Peter Sarsgaard‘s voice!) to whip Frank into shape, keep him sharp, and busy, or it’s off to the old folks home.  Frank aint having it, but this wouldn’t be a movie if he was ‘having it’, but maybe the two can eventually co-exist, even though Robot doesn’t really exist, and maybe they can even become friends!!!!! Man and robot?  Friends??????  MAYBE!!!

Frank does sorta have a sorta friend - Susan Sarandon, who works at the archaic library, and it’s archaic cause it’s the near future and the printed word has become passé, kinda like Frank!  Frank has plenty o’ enemies, like forgetting things, and his kids who won’t let him forget that, and sometimes the Robot, and also progress, like the peoples who want to re-purpose the library into something new and hip and without books!  The face of this progress is a jerky bespectacled young man (Jeremy Strong), and Frank likes him less than he likes having the Robot make him a healthy meal

While Frank starts to get used to the Robot and the help he provides, the Robot turns out to be even more helpful in an entirely different way.  Ya see, Frank is a seasoned cat burglar, but obviously not in mid-season form anymore, but the Robot aint got no rust or dust, so maybe the Robot can help Frank pull off some heists that will stick it to the man!!!!  Yep, this is a movie about some old thief dude who gets a robot to help him rob houses, but it’s also one that’s so sweet (but not too sweet), and so savory (Langella is ammmmmazings)

I love the Robot.  I love Frank.  Pair the obedient bucket of bolts with the crodgity ole man and you have a movie that I juss love love love.  It’s nothing super complex, but it’s simply juss a wonderful film to watch, from start to finish.  You did it Jake Schreier & Christopher D Ford!  Is this the greatest robot movie ever?  No (A.I.?).  Is it the greatest Frank movie ever?  No (Frankenstein?).  Is it the greatest Robot AND Frank movie ever?  YES!!!!!!!!

Robot & Robot: check out Behind the Robots in Robot & Frank, which drops such hot info like how the robot was designed by the same folks who made Daft Punk’s LED helmets, and that there’s actually a person inside the robot – Rachael Ma!!!!!!!!!  we want one, NOW!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Frank does the Robot in NY only today, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…