Tag Archives: Joaquin Phoenix

Better Late Than Never

Peace The Forks Out

to

David Letterman On Nighttime Television

rolling stone letterman

letterman leno

murray l;etterman

https://vine.co/v/eA91ixaHem5

letterman pencil

letterman liberace dylan

turkey drop letterman

letterman sits

crispin letterman

miami vice lettermnan

Top 10 Least Popular Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavors – October 18, 1989

10. Oprah Mocha
9. Raspberry Rash
8. Norieggnog
7. Cholesterol Chip
6. Zsa Zsa Gaboreo
5. Tiny Filaments O’Tungsten
4. Uninhibited by Cher
3. Stuff-Found-in-Ben-&-Jerry’s-Pockets
2. Bus Depot Fudge
1. Hitler Ripple

carson letterman

dave cbs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJRswwsKbqg

letterman conan

number 3

happy new year larry bud

barrymore letterman flash

daves mom

dave kids

rupert letterman

davd and paul

paul_shaffer

phoniex letterman

dog horse

keys

ford letterman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzMEPl7KKtE

letterman schaffer

dave kiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX-MzoEGNHc

biff henderson final day letterman'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrVjOUIoo6Q

#ThanksDave

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Pynchon With The Show!

Inherent Vice
California Scheming
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 148 min

Inherent Vice

In a haze and in a daze, Paul Thomas Anderson‘s take on Thomas Pynchon‘s Inherent Vice is well worth toking.  Why?

it’s…

(thankfully not the dis-Master)

Lebowski-y, but smarter(!)(?)

lebowski

and says hello to The Long Goodbye

long goodbye

and is as serious (and seriously silly) as Joe Friday’s haircut

LSDeez nutz

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on

and Eli Cash-y

eli cash

and Paul Avery Zodiac-y

paul avery drinky

and Nathan Thurm-y squirmy

and Shasta-y

shasta

and Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

kat water

waterston vice

and all this equals…

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Vice is nice at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Love Bytes

Her
OS Oh Yes! 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 119 min

her

 is so fcuking creative.  Maybe he needs lotsa time to be so fcuking creative.  And if so, is that why he’s only made four movies since 1999?  And if that so is so, so what?  If he’s gonna keep delivering mind-bending/blowing cinema, then please, take yer jolly a$$ time Spike!  His latest Her is just another grand notch on his ultra-cool, ultra-crazy filmmaking belt.  The difference with this flick vs his other works is that this one’s 111% the vision of Jonze, as he wrote the script from scratch himself

I for one am obsessed with technology.  I can’t keep my fingers off my phone (and my fiancee, but she doesn’t always do what I tell her to do :).  Jonze knows this (not about me, but about all of us), and he sees our relationships with our computers (in the near future) growing even closer, for worse AND for better.  His Her is a new computer operating system unlike anything that came before it, in our reality, and even in cinema’s fantasies.  Before Her, there was the artificial intelligence that was Metropolis‘ Maschinenmensch, 2001‘s HAL-9000, Tron‘s Master Control Program, WarGames‘ WOPR, and in body form, A.I.‘s David.  You can see what direction these movie AIs have been going – less evil, more human-like, more helpful, and more lovable (yet always creepy!!).  Woah, Spike, you just unknowingly made a sci-fi epic, without being at all sci-fi-y!

 is our end user Theodore Twombly, a lonely, thoughtful and misunderstood soul looking for someone to talk to, and to fill the void of his recently lost love life.  When he purchased his new operating system, simply named OS1, little did he know that he was about to embark on another rollercoaster of love and all that comes with it.  OS1, with the voice of , gives herself the name Samantha, and Theodore a new lease on life.  She grows as a learning computer, and he grows closer to ‘her’ with every byte, and they ultimately and completely fall in love with one another.  But can a man fall in love with his computer?  Well, in 2009, a man married a video game character, so why couldn’t this happen?  The love in Her feels true, but remains so unnervingly creepy to us (there’s a scene that cuts to moments of black, which will make you feel beyond awkward), but in this near future landscape, it’s more acceptable than it is frowned upon

Do we want this bad good bad future to happen?  To be honest, I don’t want anything in Spike Jonze’ head to become real, but I want to keep on seeing what he sees, cause only he could make a make-up-less  seem sexier than she did being half-naked in American Hustle

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Clothing Jonzeing: now you can dress like it’s the near future too, with Opening Ceremony’s Her inspired line!

her clothes

Her boots up currently at a theater near jews

(this was the last movie we needed to see before coming up with our best of ’13 list. sorry Phil O Meana & Nebraska, there juss aint time to see you)

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Camp Concentration

SpaceCamp is the single greatest movie about camps about space!!!  it’s true

how? why?

cause…

Joaquin Phoenix was Leaf Phoenix and he becames best friends with a robot named Jinx (a cross between R.O.B. and Johnny Five) who fulfills his wishes of going into space by forcing the NASA computers to send him into space 

 leaf jinx

Lea Thompson was never more adorable (yes, even more so than in Back To The Future and Some Kind of Wonderful)

lea spacecamp

lea space2

it was Tate Donovan’s first true movie role and he looked so good in ugly 80s button-down shirts and he’s so cool and he still looks like this today, and he’s still so cool

tate spacecamp

it proved that Kate Capshaw could actually act and wasn’t juss some dumb chick Steven Spielberg married

capshaw spaccam,p

Tom Skerritt’s mustache and Terry O’Quinn’s ‘hair’

Kelly Preston’s hair and her My Little Pony eye make-up thing goings on

 preston

my lilpreston

Lamar Latrell is STRAIGHT AND IN SPACE!!!!!!!!!!

larry b scott

the movie was actually kinda thrilling and terrifying, and probably most so cause it was made before the Challenger disaster and was released five months after it.  YIKES!!!

spacecamp blyue

but mainly SpaceCamp is awesome cause it represents perhaps the final time when Americans were excited about space and camp and space camps

spacecamp pyramid

and in general, the movie is juss dang fun!

1 Comment

There Will Be Huh?

The Master
No Brains, No Service
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 137 min

I don’t get it, but it sure looked nice!  Especially those sandcastle boobs!

It didn’t have a point, but Philip Seymour Hoffman did have a mustache that made him look like Mike Holmgren, and he did yell a lot, cause that’s telltale sign that he’s acting all hard and things!!

No really, I have zero minus one idea what the movie was about, but Joaquin Phoenix did tell like 2 fart jokes and kinda acted like he was in a post-WWII version of I’m Still Here (which is a betterer, more thoughtfullerrer movie than The Master is ever be or wants to be.  IS TRUE!)

No seriously, what’s the story with that story?  A helpless drunk gets help from a guy who’s full of himself and has a mustache and screams and his son is Jesse Plemons who sorta looks like him, without a mustache, and without the screaming, and in the end, no matter how much yelling goes-es on, it doesn’t help the helpless guy????  And no milkshakes are drankens??

But man, the movie LOOKED amazing!  Yeah, but ‘look’ and ‘being’ are two different stuffs.  Nice try PT Borenum!!  But you didn’t fool us with your foolish tim-foolery!

Yeah, but there were at least three AMAZINGS scenes.  One involved questions and not closing eyes and then closing eyes with more questions.  Another involved the awesomes Christopher Evan Welch questioning methods which is followed by yellings.  The other other was when all of the sudden there were lots of naked womens in a room, and we saw old droopy boobies that were hactually kinda sexy. IS TRUTHS!

Jessica Lange Gang: so we all know that Alison Lohman looks like a young Jessica Lange, but who knew that there was a gal who looks like Alison Lohman…

Brigitte Hagerman!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

The Master bates in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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