Re-Joyce
17. Feb, 2011 
0 Comments
Vanishing On 7th Street
No Outlet
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Were you a teen (or mature child like weeself) of the 80s AND subscribed to HBO?  If so, you’ve probably seen Just One of The Guys and The Heavenly Kid 9328383922 times over, right????  Well how about the the post-apocalyptic-valley girl romp Night of The Comet [trailer]??????  We wacthed that 9328383922 times over too, and it was certainly of its place and time, and we’re sure if we saw it today it would be beyond awful/unwatchable, but still maintain some of its 80s charm.  Wellllllllllllllllllll, director Brad Anderson (Transsiberian and The Machinist) and writer Anthony Jaswinski‘s Vanishing On 7th Street barks up similar empty streets, but without the ‘gag me with a spoon’ attitude and fun, and it doesn’t need any years to pass to show some mold, cause this movie is awful/unwatchable TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure, we were totes mcgotes with this movie for the first 15 minutes, when everyone instantly disappeared off the face of the earth, eggggcept for Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton, John Leguizamo and lil Jacob Latimore, but when these survivors stop wandering round and meet one another at the only bar open in Detroit, on the titular street (duh), this thing turns into a achingly boring stage play that brings out the mos annoying qualities of each actor (Hayden – endless whining, Newton – a long, sad face longer and sadder than it needs to be, and Leguizamo – overly-overly-neurotic). If only the unknown thing that’s making things vanish could have made the rest of the film vanish or like our eyes and ears vanish or like any other stupid vanish joke we could make that will help vanish this movie from our memory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just One of The Girls: so whatever became of Just One of The Guys girl Joyce Hyser? who knows (her most current pics are from 2001!), but we will never 5get her acting skills
Verdictgo: Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous
7th St opens Friday in NY only & elsehwere elsewhen & is already available on-demand, if you so demand it!
and until next thyme the balcony & the girl who dressed like a guy is clothed…
