Can it be thighmasterly possible that I’ve been
devoid of this fine eatsiery for almost 7 years?

Open up and say YUM!

There aint nothing like throwing down £2.80 in the middle
of the day for beer that tastes great and is MORE filling

and don’t even think about tipping the bartender!

Despite the warnings…

Me and my chum Paul..

continued to make our lungs
blacker than Michael Jackson

This is the famed River Thames

His brother’s name is Joaquin Thames

This former powerhouse station…

…now houses fine modern art.
How mod

Trafalgar Square is the eggzact
center of Central London

And is now almost close to
being rat-with-wings free!
Almost, you bastards

Piccadilly Circus is not a circus
or a pickle or a dilly, yo

It’s juss like Times Square
where no one speaks English

The roads here have no rhyme or reason

And have curves as sweet
as Monica Bellucci

This is what a French person looks like

I hear he prefers Freedom Fries to french fries

This is what a typical English fridge contains

Who doesn’t love the gas-o one
gets from the Old El Paso?

My weekend hosts

Leslie (the greatest actress in the world) & Paulos

And my new bestest friends*

*who by now have probably forgotten my name

Why am I so fat

Or why are they so darn skinny?

This is what vomit looks like in a urinal

Men are so cool

And when the pubs close at 10:30

You have no choice but to party
yer balls off at a club

Would you believe that I hung out with
both Kate Hudson AND Rhys Ifans?

[Jude Law and the Queen Mum not pictured]

What’s Happening Now?

Good Times & nuttin but

What’s next?

Get on the table and
we’ll point at your crotch!

And there’s always time to trim the hedges

Especially when yer phil rissottoxed!

I think it’s time to call it a night

It’s 6AM and I think my brain
gave up on me hours ago

The morning early evening after

And no, I am not a member of the Lampe family

Automatisch for the people

I gave myself a Dutch Oven while spoeltting

Off to Wagamama’s

(which means ‘selfish’ in Japanese)

This is slightly better than
my mum’s matzoh ball soup

So why again do they not have W’mamas in NYC?

This is where kids get vondelled

aka Neverland Ranch

This place used to be called Hooters

But I guess they were forced to change the name

Then goghne to Vince’s pad for the nth time

Be sure to get the audio tour and
listen to how the lady sez ‘Arles’

And how could one forget one of the world’s
best modern art museums, Het Stedelijk

Even my finger’s shadow is handsome

I was too busy to get a hooker

Otherwise, I might have
had to think such thoughts

The day’s winding down
What to do, what to do?

Nuff said

And meet up with our random
Dutch fans like Big Daaaaan!!

Who hadn’t scarfed a pannenkoeken since he was a tyke!
I told him that Holland should revoke his citizenship

Ham & Cheese PANCAKE!

Kosher it is not,
redonkeylonkylicious it is

In any language…

I’m going to die

And they sure love their gummies

They even sell Jessicatandyden!

If I had any room left in my stomach
I would have at least had a slice at

Which is where NYC pizza started, duhvs!
Lest we forget, my fine city was once called New Amsterdam

And the last pic I took probably looks
a lot like what was in my stomach

before I puked my guts out
AND sprained my ankle!