Thighs Wide Shut

wait, who’s that creepy looking old dude who doesn’t look like he belongs in McDonaldland or near children???

wait, who the fred funk is the Professor?

wiki leaked:

The Professor - A bearded scientist-type character in a lab coat. He was introduced in 1971 and served as McDonaldland’s local inventor and researcher. In the ’70s, he was a minor character who rarely spoke. Around the 80s, the Professor was a major character, and was redesigned to include a lightbulb-topped helmet and a mustache. Though the character was dropped during the streamlining of the characters in the mid-1980s, he did appear in McDonald’s Treasure Land Adventure where he invents a rocketship to take Ronald and his friends to Magical Moon and appeared in M.C. Kids. The Professor was voiced by Howard Morris in the 70s and by Andre Stojka in the 80s

we lived for MaccyD’s as a kid, and his name or image doesn’t rung no bells.  not even these commerishes look familiar

WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNCLE O’GRIMACEY IS GOING ON!??!?!?

WHO ARE YOU PROFESSOR????  AND WHERE ARE YOU????  YOU HIDING OUT WITH HITLER AND BARTMAN AND THE ZODIAC AND BIGFOOT AND DB COOPER AND DB SWEENEY???????????

[hat tip to the R-naut]

we’re not super into politics, unless it on involves fat dudes with mustaches, but we do find it kinda super cool that Reufuglican candidate Jon Huntsman Jr‘s Senior‘s company created the clamshell box for McDonalds’ Big Mac!!!

last time we saw styrofoam at a McD’s was round the turn of the century in Amsterdam

last century was so awesomes

so is Amsterdamage

we came for the würst and we were treated to the best… time in Bavaria’s capital of Munich, which we had last (briefly) visited in May of 1998.  enüff with the backstory and on with the picture story!!!

these people truly know how to live life

and yet, they still have to pay for their ketchup

so würst! but who doesn’t love a good ole sausage fest????

or some way too yellow looking fries/frites? that are hactually purty darn delish

gotta give these people some mad platter-tudes.  ALL THIS WAS ONLY 22 EUROS!!!!!!

had at the Schelling Salon, one of Hitler’s favorite haunts, which he was eventually barred from for not paying his tab!!!  EAT IT HITLER!!! OR, HACTUALLY, DON’T!!!!!  speaking of, F$CK YOU HITLER!!!

Dachau was the very first Nazi concentration camp, and you can visit there, and you should!  we recommend Munich Walk Tours, which is led by an English speaking guide

‘Arbeit macht frei‘ my a$$!!!!

and despite all the evil ugliness that happened there

it’s quite a serene & beautiful place

but Dachau aint the only Jewish death site on our trip.  we also headed out to the 1972 Summer Olympic grounds and village, specifically to the famed 31 Connelystrasse address, where the Israeli Massacre all began

recommended reading: One Day In September

recommend viewing: One Day In September

it’s a crying f$%king shame in many respects that this happened, and it darkens and cheapens a gorgeous Olympic site created by the Germans, which was meant to erase all the nasty memories of the Nazified Berlin Olympics from 1936.  look at how amazing the grounds are!!!

it looks like grass, but them be seats!!

and don’t know how to describe these tent covery thingies

but they are so 70s and SO RAD!!!

here’s where Mark Spitz and his killer mustache ruled the worlds

he totally should have sold bottles of his own spits

but don’t worry folks, we did plenty of non-Jewish things

like eat Schweinshaxe (pork knuckles) at the Haxnbauer!!!

and make instant BFFs with locals (we didn’t tell them we’re Jewish)

like Helmut & Marita!!! they loved we so much, they bought us dinner!  and we loved them so much cause they kinda remind we of our parents, cept 100% more German!!!

and now for the random photo section of this post!

look, this is JUST like in European Vacation…

USA destroyed 88% of the city in WWII.  deeply hit was the Residenz

ever wonder what a tiny part of our finger would look like in an grand banquet hall? WONDER NO MO…

der Nazis cut paintings out of the wall to protect them from the bombs

here’s one of the few remaining Third Reich (take the walking tour!) buildings that still be standing

it was home to the Munich conference where Neville Chamberlain was a big wuss. Hitler’s office was up in there too.  the building is now a theater.  Hitler sucks!

know what don’t suck? Munich’s art museums!

there were many more pictures taken, of buildings and sh%t, but there aint no time or room for that.  instead, read these signs of the times, cause other languages that aren’t ours are ALWAYS funny

it’s sirprizing how unhealthy these people are

and yet they DON’T get fat

ok, this has been fun, but time to say auf wiedersehen

and this…

that’s what HE said

Hank Willis Thomas took a bunch of print ads featuring African-Americans and removed the ads.  His resulting Unbranded series is buncredible, and is currently on view on the Brooklyn Museum’s 5th floor

soul good!!

these are always awesomes: Girls Just Want Wanna Have Fun [barely NSFW]

+ more Ronnie fun!