Hacksaw Ridge
Have No Gun – Will Travel
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 139 min

Sadly this movie is not about Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Luckily it is about a different kind of an American hero – a REAL American hero… Desmond T Doss!

Doss was a dude who fought in WWII… WITHOUT FIGHTING!!! OR EVEN TOUCHING A GUN!!!  This is a true story!!!!  And Mr All(White)-American Mel Gibson tells the story the only way he knows how – blood & guts + hope & faith.  Mel, never change.  NEVER!  OK, change, but don’t

Doss (Andrew Garfield, plus himself) didn’t believe in violence, mainly cause he hurt his brother as a kid, and had a drunk abusive dad (Hugo Weaving, looking A LOT like Homer Simpson… ok it’s a stretch, but I really thought he looked like Homer in this movie)

But MS-Doss REALLY wanted to help the war effort, without the warring part, and so he enlisted in the army, while trying to remain a pacifist.  Obviously the Army wasn’t having any of this sh!t, and his commanding officers (a not awful Vince Vaughn, and Sam Worthington) basically make him eat sh!t and try to get him to quit, but there aint no quit in Doss, and so Doss goes to war as a medic with no weapon

And guess what – all those who doubted him – don’t doubt him no more when he starts saving their lives on the battlefield!

What a story!  But the movie itself wasn’t anything extraordinary, kinda ordinary actually.  Not bad, but not blammmazing.  Still, I’m glad I saw it on Veteran’s Day, and then ate a cheeseburger afterwards.  I am no hero, but I am All-American, and all for America!!! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMrpkeSj9ls/

Eyes Before Thighs: I’m not much of a blue-eyed guy, but Teresa Palmer‘s peepers made me jeepers all over!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hacksaw Ridge is currently playing at a theater near jews & white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Oscar 2015’s biggest moment?  the revelation that THAT GUY is married to a 4 time Academy Award winning costume designer!!!!!

Milena Canonero + Marshall Bell 9 ever!!!

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MB is the fcuking best!

he was an a$$hole PE teacher and the first victim in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

he was Gordie’s a$$hole dad in Stand By Me!!

he was an a$$hole police chief in Johnny Be Good!!!

he was an a$$hole who wants to kill Ah-nold and Danny in Twins, but the opposite happened!!!

WAS NOT AN A$$HOLE, AS HE HOUSED KUATO, IN TOTAL RECALL!!!!!!!!!!

was probably an a$$hole in Air America!

was the title a$$hole vagrant in The Vagrant

http://youtu.be/FMzE78Da2oE

no idea what this movie is, but 99.99% sure he was probably an a$$hole in Payback!!!!!!!

was an a$$hole to bugs in Starship Troopers!!!!!!!

was an a$$hole-ish principal in Hamlet 2

moral of the story – Marshall Bell usually plays an a$$hole in movies, but he is SOOOOOOO amazing at being a movie a$$hole, and his wife has 4 Oscars.  WHAT YOU GOT????????

AND HIS WIFE DESIGNED COSTUMES FOR KUBRICK’S CLOCKWORK ORANGE / BARRY LYNDON / THE SHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST HOLLYWOOD COUPLE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Beaver
Leave It
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 91 min

Mel Gibson is a guy in a deep funk, on the edge of much darkness.  Everyone’s given up on him, and he has nowhere really to go but further down a bottle of liquor.  No, we’re not talking about Mel Gibson the person, we’re talking about the character Mel Gibson plays in pal Jodie Foster‘s The Beaver.  Eager to see this disaster of a man play a disaster of a man put on display?  Of course you and we are.  Who doesn’t love watching a good ole train wreck, or indulging in things/people we can’t stand or that hate us for no good reason other than our control of the banks and the medi (how else do you explain why we relish in watching anything with Hitler in it, or can’t turn away from a Duke basketball game?).  Problem is, the man isn’t a disaster, the movie is!!!

The Beaver comes down to this: can you buy into a character who finds renewed passion for the Christ life with the help of a puppet he’s got his own fingers up in?  If it was played strictly for laughs, with a small slice of heart, it would work, but The Beaver oozes with way too much seriousness and sappiness, and we weren’t buying it for a second.  Maybe if the beaver was voiced by Jerry Mathers, we could suspend our disbelief, but the beav’s voice is Mel’s own, in a super-annoying cockney Australian accent that is so grating that it almost works as an anti-Australian tourism or anti-puppetry campaign.  More like camp-PAIN!!!!  Urgh!!!

So if you can’t buy into the beaver in The Beaver right off the bat, you’ll be stuck rolling your eyes until it’s time to roll out of the theater.  To make matters even worse, there’s a parallel story about Mel’s son (the ever annoying Anton Yelchin), who’s trying everything in his power to not end up like the old man.  By day he writes classmates’ papers for pay, and by night, he’s a whiny little bitch.  His latest client is the school’s arty smarty hottie (grumpy faced Jennifer Lawrence, not saying ‘you seen my daddy‘ 38388 times over this time) and it’s so not at all interesting that we won’t even bother elaborating about them

Writer Kyle Killen‘s story started out as a short one, and then went full blown, and then ended up as one of those Black Listers (best unproduced screenplays), but by the results, it probably should have remained black listed, or maybe just a short story, or juss anything that wasn’t Ordinary People Muppets

Nice Beaver:

via

Verdictgo: even though Mel’s performance is a slight draw here, nothing else is, so Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

Beaver is puppetry of the leanest today in select cities

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

whats racists loves to eats theirs popcorns outs ofs…

eBay: 1974 Atlanta Braves Popcorn Box

mo vintage bags fo sale!

mo mo!

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+ in non-racist foodness: Utz Cheeseball Stadium!!!