Thighs Wide Shut

this

and that

FCC You Later
Analog TV Transmission

1928 – 2009

lettuce take a qwik and incomplete revisionist look back at the moist tube-ular moments in analog jammin (not including when the Six Million Dollar Man battled Sasquatch… who was played by André the Giant!)

July 2nd, 1928

station W3XK in Wheaton, MD
emits the US’s first broadcast:
a 10 second porn

October 22nd, 1939

John Madden becomes the first color analyst
of a black & white football game
as the Brooklyn ‘Football’ Dodgers beat
the Philadelphia Eagles 23-14
but the end of the game is cut off
by the TV movie Heidi

July 1st, 1941

‘America runs on Bulova time’
becomes the 1st (legal) TV ad to air
but if America had a choice
it woulda chosen the Jhoon Rhee one

November 5th, 1955

Caroline In The City falls for Calvin Klein
who’s mad pissed cause
another Honeymooners rerun is on
[big ups to the massive BTTF timeline
all dough that ep actually aired on 12/31]

August 28th, 1963

MLK has a wet dream, or something

November 24th, 1963

The Lee Harvey Oswald Experience debuts
they kill it, but their tour abruptly ends

February 9th, 1964

The Beatles refuse Ed Sullivan’s request
to change the title of their hit
‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’
to ‘I Want You To Hold My Cock’

July 20th, 1969

Man lands on the moon
and Walter Cronkite becomes a lunartic
the film 2001 still doesn’t make any sense

sometime in 1969

Elvis’ installs 3 TVs into his
Taking Care of Business room at Graceland
so he could simultaneously watch
C-SPAN, BET and C-SPAN 2
NBC, ABC and CBS
that’s even mo genius than
a PB, Banana & Bacon sangwich!

January 3rd, 1972

WGBH logo rox its own electric boogaloo
and turns out to be the bestest of balls thyme

April 2nd, 1974

Robert Opel breaks Cal Ripken’s streaking record
at the 46th Academy Awards and prompts
David Niven to make the best use
of the word ‘cummings’ since ee

April 8th, 1974

two white guys chase
a black guy who juss finished chasing a white guy

September 17, 1978

“Bitching About Stuff with Andy Rooney”
becomes a regular segment of 60 Minutes
(we hope CBS freezes him for future generations)

November 17, 1978

George Lucas rapes peoples’ eyes and ears
with his The Star Wars Holiday Special
it turned out to be more of an abortion
than Maude‘s abortion

November 18th, 1978

drinking Kool-Aid is no longer considered kool or aidful

December 28th, 1984

wrestler David Schultz pummels John Stossel
cause his mustache is so sexy
and he wants a ride
(who doesn’t?)

July 1st, 1985

Dire Strait’s creepy animated music video
for ‘Money For Nothing’ first airs
everyone wants their MTV
and now, no one wants their MTV

January 28th, 1986

America’s heart explodes
tasteless jokes ensue
we laff at these tasteless jokes
and then say, ‘that’s not funny‘
was ‘too soon?‘ invented on this day?

June 5th, 1989

Tank Man gets in the wrong line
for the Beijing premiere of Tank Girl
at the Tiananmen Square Megaplex 18

January 18th, 1990

Marion Barry allows a bitch to set him up for the last time
becomes the butt of many jokes cracked
[sorry, couldn’t find the video]

April 8th, 1990

Twin Peaks pilot scares the crap outta everyone
even more so than the WGBH logo
TV has never been this good, and never will be again

October 3th, 1992

Sinbad O’Connor rips ass & attempts to distract the audience
by ripping a photo of The Pope

June 15th, 1995

OJ replaces Dan Marino as
the spokesperson for Isotoner Gloves

September 11th, 2001

awfulnessss
+
100 Most Memorable TV Moments, according to TV Guide/Land
Television History – The First 75 Years
a U. S. Television Chronology, 1875-1970
Popular Mechanics articles about TV from 1928 & 1929
timeline of the introduction of television in countries
Photos: A Fond Farewell to Analog Television
rabbit ears aren’t history
10 technological facts of TV
long live Remote Control!
& who watches the Watchman?

hat tip to markkrugman for the inspiration, sorta

we juss mumbled upon the greatestistest wiki site mt EVERest:
Closing Logo Group Wiki
and cause we have nothing better to do
besides seeing movies and seeking out NSFW honeys with gynormus cans
we’ve ranked our mos flavorite 20 logos + others we’ve deemed james worthy

1) WGBH (1978 to Present)
Where To Find It: anything on PBS that’s (probably) good or British or both

[play]

2) Warner Bros. Pictures (1972-1984)
Where To Find It: A Clockwork Orange

[play]

3) HBO Feature/Special Presentation (1983-1999)
Where To Find It: in our (wet) dreams

[play|behind the scenes]

4) 20th Century Fox Film Corporation (1935-1994)
Where To Find It: no better place than the OG versions of Star Wars, Eps IV-VI

[play]

5) Classic Warner Bros. Cartoons (1942-1964)
Where To Find It: anywhere it’s duck or rabbit season

[play]

6) Hanna-Barbera (1979-1990)
Where To Find It: Shirt Tales

[play]

7) Walt Disney Home Video/Entertainment (1978-1986) & (1981-1987)
Where To Find It: any VHS (or BetaMax) tape that came in a huge white case

[play|play]

8) PBS (1971-1984)
Where To Find It: Electric Company

[play]

9) Stephen J. Cannell Productions/Cannell Entertainment (1982-1999)
Where To Find It: The A-Team

[play]

10) Ubu Productions (1982 – present)
Where To Find It: Family Ties

[play]

11) Amblin Entertainment (1982 – present)
Where To Find It: Amazing Stories

[play]

12) ITC Entertainment Group (1973-1989)
Where To Find It: The Muppet Show

[play]

13) DiC Audiovisuel/Entertainment (1987-2005)
Where To Find It: Inspector Gadget

[play|ytmnd]

14) Thames (1969-1989)
Where To Find It: Danger Mouse

[play]

15) NBC (any one that’s in color)
Where To Find It: uh, NBC?

[play]

16) MGM Cartoons (1963-1967)
Where To Find It: Chuck Jones-produced Tom & Jerrys

[play]

17) MTM Enterprises, Inc./Productions (1970-1998)
Where To Find It: The White Shadow

[play]

18) Paramount Television (1969-1975)
Where To Find It: The Brady Brunch

[play]

19) Mark VII Productions/Limited (1953-1971)
Where To Find It: Dragnet

[play]

20) Universal Pictures (1963-1990)
Where To Find It: Back To The Future

[
f=”http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3dctf_universal-cat-people-1982_news” target=”_blank”>play]

honor blackman able mentions:

ABC (1962-1970’s)
Castle Rock Entertainment (1989-1994)
CBS Productions (1966-??)
Children’s Television Workshop (1978-1983)
Classic Paramount Cartoons (all)
Columbia Pictures (1975-1981)
Desilu/Lucille Ball Productions (1966-1967)
DreamWorks SKG (1997 – present)
Emotion (1999-2007)
Focus Features (2002 – present)
Gaumont (all)
Gracie Films (1987 – present)
Imagine Entertainment (1995 – present)
Krofft Productions/Entertainment (1969-1976)
The Ladd Company (1980-1996)
Lionsgate (2005 – present)
London Weekend Television (1971-1978)
Lucasfilm Limited (1997 – present)
Marvel Productions Ltd (1985-1993)
Miramax (1999 – present)
MTV (80s)
Orion Pictures (1981-1996)
Operation Prime Time (1976-1987)
Picturehouse (2005 – present)
Picturemaker Productions (1985-1989)
Pixar (1995 – present)
Rainbow Releasing Productions (1995 – present)
Rankin-Bass Productions (1968-1975)
Ruby-Spears (1981-1992)
RKO Pictures (1929-1958)
Steven Bochco Productions (1989 – present)
Television New Zealand (1980-1982)
TriStar Pictures (1984-1993)
United Artists Pictures (1981-1987)
WCET (Late 1980’s?-????)

and the scariest one of balls thyme:

Lynch/Frost Productions (1990-1992)

which logos razzle your bedazzlers?
pray tell
and praying mantis!!