Ten 2017 Movies That Rose Higher Than Rose From The Last Jedi

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1) Loving Vincent

LOVE doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about this waking life walk thru van Gogh’s paintings.  this is one for the ages!!

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2) The Lost City of Z

more of an Indiana Jones movie than Kingdom of The Crystal Skull was!!!  AND IT REALLY HAPPENED!!

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3) Mother!

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4) Dunkirk

I was praying that it was going to be a bad movie so I could call it Dumbkirk

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5) The Disaster Artist

Finally, a Seth Rogen movie I can get behind!

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6) Phantom Thread

Style over substance AND style!

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7) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Fart faced McDormand and zany Sam Rockwell overcome themselves to surprise even me!

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8) Maudie

Art with heart

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9) The Trip To Spain

More of these, less of the Fast & Furiouseseses

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10) Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Beyond this world, and apparently beyond the grasp of today’s dumbed-down audiences.  Enjoy the same crap over and over people, cause Hollywood aint going to take a chance anymo on a movie that takes a chance like this one did

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the Friday before the Oscars.  stay pooned!

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Phantom Thread
Fashion Victims
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 130 min

A movie about a frigidity, neurotic clothing designer in 1950s London who hates distractions AND butter doesn’t exactly sound like the most swinging time this holiday season, but there is just SOMETHING so entrancing about PT Barnum Anderson‘s Phantom Thread that makes it the greatest film with the word ‘Phantom’ in it (sorry Jar Jar, Billy Zane and that horrible screen adaption of the Opera with Gerard Butler)!

I cannot even tell you that this is a muss see movie.  It would actually make for a really boring home rental, but for 2ish hours I was udderly mesmerized about the tale of a tailor (with a really dumb name – Reynolds Woodcock), and his muse who he doesn’t seem to be so a-MUSE-d by.  Maybe cause this is rumored to be Daniel Day-Lewis‘ acting swan song, and so we paid extra thought and love to his INCREDIBLE performance, or that we fell hard and felt so bad for his underloved love interest (Vicky Krieps), or that Dan Day’s icy-cold staring sister (Lesley Manville) set the prefect chilled mood for this entire movie.  Or maybe cause the film was made with such attention to detail and care, that we cared so much about all the details.  I wanted to physically be in all the places and settings they occupied and roamed around in.  TAKE ME THERE!!!  And while the clothes they made were really pretty, I didn’t really want to wear any of them, but that’s cause I’m not really into wearing dresses

We often think that David Fincher is keeper of the Kubrick torch, but PT Barnum Anderson may actually be the true torchbearer.  Phantom Thread feels like a Kubrick movie – uninviting and distant, and yet it makes you feel up close and personal, and sew – what more can you ask for in a film?  NEEDLE ME THAT BATMAN!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Thread bares in limited release on Xmas day

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…