Thighs Wide Shut

quickies!

Monsters University
From Here To Fraternity 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
G | 104 min

Never saw the first one, so for once, seeing a prequel didn’t ‘ruin’ any of the fun, but Pixar = fun, cept when they try too hard or not hard enough.  Anywho, it was cool to hear cartoon Billy Crystal chat it up and become BFFs with cartoon John Goodman.  But fo’reals, why does every animnated movie have to have every single role, top to bottom, filled with celeb voices?  Don’t think kids really care that Helen Mirren is lending her pipes to give Dean Hardscrabble her scrabbles hard.  As for the adults, they don’t give a sh$t either, as Mirren’s voice added nothing, and mainly took away from this otherwise frivolously funned G-rated version of Revenge of The Nerds

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Fill the Void
(Lemale et ha’halalrs)
The Marrying Kind
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
PG | 90 min

Sadly this is NOT the sequel or prequel to Enter The Void.  It’s about some Hasidic Israeli dude (Yiftach Klein) having his wife die during childbirth.  Everyone agrees he needs a new wife.  Everyone knows its gonna be his sister-in-law Hadas Yaron, cause she’s hot, and she knows how to deal with kids and she plays the accordion.  A touching movie with a conclusion that’s a tad too foregone.  Regardless – I give it 19 L’chaims! 

Btw, that  Hasidic Israeli dude is a total fox in real life!!!

Verdictgo: both  Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Monsters roars at a theater near Jews, while Void Fills seats in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Wreck-It Ralph
8-Bit o’ Honey
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 101 min

Wreck-It Ralph may not eggzactly be the gemmiest of the Pixar gems [editor’s note – turns out this ISN’T a Pixar pic, but a straight-up Disney toon!], but I can’t think of another Pixar toon or any toon for that matter that totally & specifically appealed to me and my endless lust of childhood nostalgia.  Sure, Toy Story is the gold standard of such days gone by but never forgottens, but arcades and video games tickle my ye olde fancy much mores so than Mr Potato Head and that Slinky dog could ever (mainly cause Star Wars & GI Joe action figures were my fav toys and they weren’t really allowed to play with Woody & Buzz).  And while the story of Ralph is all over the place AND THE ARCADE, and at times, a bit too much for the eyes, I was STILL totally game for the gaming being gamed!!!!!  It’s true!  Level passed!

And you know how these modern studio cartoons lean heavily on famous actors to voice the characters and it can be REALLLLLLLLY distracting cause you can’t lose yerself in these characters cause all you can hear and think of is the famous person voicing them?  WELL, that is NOT the case with Ralphy as John C Reilly, Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch and Alan Tudyk (AMAZING!) all disappear behind their 8-bit alter egos with such ease that it’s such easy listening!  And even moist incredible of incredibles is the work that Sarah Silverman done does as the Powerpuffy lil girl Vanellope von Schweetz.  We aint a huge fan of the SS, but NOW WE IS CAUSE SHE SO PERFECT AS THE SWEET AND VICIOUS VANELLOPE WHO MAY LIKE BE ONE OF THE MOST FUN FEMALE DISNEY CHARACTERS SINCE LIKE (Miss Bianca?) EVER!  These are truths!

Plus there’s all kinds of awesome video game cameos, INCLUDING THE TAPPER DUDE FROM TAPPER!!!!!  AND EVEN SOME LOVE FOR THE CONTRA SECRET EXTRA MAN CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   But no love for the kid from The Wizard with the Power Glove??????????????????????????????????????????

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Ralph 1-ups itself at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Toy Story 3
Show & Mattel
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

This review is pointless, cause you’ve already seen (and loved) it, but… Toy Story 3 is like Toy Story 1 + 2 + more kids and more toys (Ken, of Barbie fame, is tres bestest), some of them being mean toys, some a little too mean (is Ned Beatty getting payback for getting raped in Georgia?) and one that looks like it came from a Tool video.  Don’t expect the unexpected (same ole story: the toys get into some sorta trouble, other toys come to the rescue, escape plan ensues, everyone will probably live happily ever after), cause #3 is par for the course (cept now in glorious, pointless 3-D!), a course that happens to be one of modern animation’s best.  There is no wrong to be found in this third edition, and yet there seems to be nothing fresh about it either.  But who cares, it’s Toy Story.  They could do a whole toy story about how Woody and Buzz become Nazi sympathizers and it would still make our hearts pitter-patter.  And if you muss know, we did cry at the end, cause we’re giant wusses

The Fisher Price Is Right: ye olde washed-up toys make a big splash in TS3, particularly those from the fine folks at Fisher Price, like the Chatter Phone, and this Little People Parking Garage beauty that makes a brief cameo…

Verdictgo: are we allowed to give it anything but a Breast In Show?

Toy toys with yer heart and yer pocketbook at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…