Peace The Forks Out

to

Mr LittleJeans / Pagoda

+

Mercury 7 minus one more 

He(the)Man (who was mad) Fat (but not named) Albert

Foley artist of politics

he was ain’t no Bum

he was everyone’s oily Bud

the Viet-MAN

he was the like Euclid for the blind

some actor

some movie critic

he got this shot

he brought gas to the Pogues

she was like the female Eli Whitney or something

Motown mentor

he was universal

THAT DUDE

some French dude

some Italian dude

some dude who loved the Today show way too much

&

dude on Topps card #1

and somehow we missed this, years ago…

Professor Falkon / the voice of WOPR in WarGames

Sherlock Holmes:
A Game of Shadows
The Final Problem
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 129 min

Don’t know how we thought the first one was passable, cause it spectretro, it was poo-diddly-poo. You take one look at brilliant modern day Cumberpatched Sherlock and juss know that Guy Ritchie doesn’t deserve to do a thang with Arthur Conan Doyle’s foils & foibles!!!  Well, like it or not, he and Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are back in a new misadventure and it’s somehow all passable again.  CRAP!  This crap should be crap, so how is it watchable, again?  Jared Harris as Professor James Moriarty is a very very nice touch, and including Noomi Rapace and Stephen Fry in on the fun kinda adds to the fun, even if their characters are kinda marginalized.  And?  Well, they killed off Rachel McAdams’ character, which also added to the fun, cause her character was les würst.  But isn’t any movie that includes a chess scene between two rivals juss one giant sh$t show?  It is, but one that’s covered in fun.  CRAP!

Verdictgo: very low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Sherkock is currently playing close to wherever you call Holmes 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Due Date
No Planes, No Trains, Juss Automobiles
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Calling Due Date a newish Planes, Trains & Automobiles is no original notion, and no, there isn’t a ‘those aren’t two pillows’ moment, but if you’ve seen P, T & A then you’ve seen Due Date, but that aint necessarily a bad thing.  Decent comedies are tuff to come by in this post-ironic age and another P, T & A is eggzactly the thing we need.  Go Todd Phillips!  Did we hactually juss write that about this no frills director (who gives himself a lame cameo here)?  We did, and we’re sticking to that, for now.  How much you’ll like Due Date squarely falls on how much of a Zach Galifianakis being Zach Galifianakis fan you are.  If yer a mild to HUGE fan, then let the fun begin.  If you aint, then you should probably make a date elsewhere, cause this is a Zach attack!!!!!

Robert Downey Jr has the thankless straightman role of being an a$$hole to Galifianakis, but someone has to do it, so why not have it be done by one of the single greatestestestsst actors alive????  The two get into a world of trouble and a lot of fun on the road, for no better reason other than the script demands that they do.  Sure, some of the journey includes a bunch of dumbness and unrealistic side tracking, but it matters so little when the Bearded one/wonder nets more laughter here than he did in The Hangover. Ed Helms was an equal victor in Phillips’ last joint, but Zach shows he can shine when the spotlight is cast solely upon him.  His schtick seems like it will never grow old.  And if it does, then someone else of Greek decent with a beard will juss have to step up and take his place.  Hopefully that will never happen

The moist sirprizing aspect of Due Date is that it’s got plenty of heart to counterbalance the pot jokes and masturbating dog.  It also has Michelle Monaghan, Jamie Foxx, Juliette Lewis, Danny McBride and RZA as helping hands, and yet, no help is necessary when this is one giant sloppy wet Galifianakiss!!!  He was long overdue for a showcase, and so was we.  Win-win!

Shaven For Nobody’s Pleasure:  what ZG looks like w/o a beard

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Date is Due today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Iron Man 2
Rust Never Sleeps
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Was Iron Man 1 really that awesomes?  Did we all champion it cause it wasn’t juss another piece of crap released in the summertime?  Maybe we overvalued it cause we had no faith in director Jon Favreau‘s abilities and were simply sirprized that it wasn’t a dud?  Looking back, nothing much comes to mind in the memorable moments department (granite, we only saw it once), but wees all know what made #1 work and why #2 even exists: Robert Downey Jr

Well, RDJr is back in the tin can, and besides Gwyneth Paltrow as the salty Pepper Potts, and the character of Lt. Col. James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes (now played by Don Cheadle), everyone else is new (Scarlett Johansson and her boobs! Paul Bettany and his voice! Garry Shandling and his smirk! Sam Rockwell and his deplorable characters we want to hate, yet end up loving! + Samuel L. Jackson not chewing up the scenery, for once!), but not much else here is new.  And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Since it is a sequel, some ante of course has been upped, even if it didn’t need to be.  The action is more explody, more metallic, and some of it downright mental (the Monte Carlo scene was way badass!!), but the cluttered CGI action is its weakest link

The film, like Tony Stark, starts off a little too sure of itself, yet when he gets knocked down a few pegs by a delicious enuff, but could have been even more delicious Mickey Rourke, and starts his climb back up again, that’s when Iron Man 2 excels into ellent territory… even if the ending was a tad blase fair

Iron Man 2 is right on par with 1:  Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux don’t fail Stan Lee’s creations or their audience, it well exceeded our low expectations, it was dang funny and fun, and we’d be happy to see a third one, even if it is more of the same.  They say if it aint baroque, then don’t fix it!  Actually they don’t, but our AP European teacher used that joke and we’ve used it ever since.  Anywho, asking for anything more would require Christopher Nolan and there’s only so many Christopher Nolans to go round

Iron Butterflies: multiple hottttties abound (and gagged)!!!

Helena Mattsson

Katie Cleary

Anya Monzikova

Verdictgo: probably what we should have awarded #1, Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Iron pumps it up at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Sherlock Holmes
Holmes Sliced
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

We cannot squarely place the blame on director Guy Ritchie‘s shoulder for the purty much tame new Sherlock Holmes ‘re-imagining’ cause he had nuttin to do with the plotting (hello/goodbye Michael Robert Johnson, Anthony Peckham and Simon Kinberg). Ritchie’s rock n rolla style applied to one of literary’s greatest characters actually does give the material an edge of freshness, but what kind of case can he present to us if the case he and Holmes were handed was devoid of a mystery (or ANY mystery tat all!!) from the get go, and thus not very worthy of solving. Think the ‘mystery’ had something to do with an occultist murderer (played by Mark Strong), who gets killed and then is brought back to life to do… more murders, for some reason or something??? can you say snooze fest 1891?

Despite it’s paint by numbers Victorianessness, it’s the action and wordplay that keeps this baby purring. And it’s kinda hard not to have fun watching Robert Downey Jr‘s Holmes (a kindred spirit of Depp as Ichabod in Sleepy Hollow) mince words with a perfectly paired Jude Law‘s Doc Watson, as they tackle whatever bad guys lay in their wake. Juss wish the bad guys had something more to them besides juss being bad. Wish Rachel McAdams‘ Holmes love interest character was something more than juss being a bad character. Wish Eddie Marsan was using his gruff to teach driving, again! What, did Santa 5gets to read our wishlist for a Holmes movie?

Holmes ends with a gaping thighs wide open door for further adventures (and maybe some real mystery!), and if the studio is happy with the strong opening BO weekend bucks, then it mos likely will happen, and if it does then we certainly hope that whomever’s piecing it together will try and outdo this lesser From Hell that graced our eyes and disgraced our intelligence

Love sherLockDown: we’ve never seen mo than 7 minutes of a Basil Rathbone joint, sooooo that makes Barry Levinson/Chris Columbus/Spielbergo’s udderly franztastic Young Sherlock Holmes our mos flavorite of Holmes alones!! incidentally, that film starred Nicholas Rowe as the young SH, who would later appear as a bonhead stoner in Guy’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. and while we’re at it, YSH marked the very first movie to incorporate a CGI character, done up by the Pixar folks (!!!!!) when they were still a part of ILM!!

Verdictgo: (try and) forget about the non-mystery mystery + the girl, and you still gots yerself something that’s Jeepers Somewhat Worth A Peepers in an It’s not so Complicated kinda brainless kinda fun kinda way

Holmes is currently sherlocked at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…