we were stuffed and no longer Hungray, then decided to Czech out…

Prague

the city is actually called Praha, but is somehow called Prague.  never quite understood why we change the names of places that already have a name, but I didn’t invent English, and am happy that most people in big cities around the globe speak English, so I no complainsz.  also makes ordering McDonalds much easier

yep, McDonalds.  me and the wife broke down and had to try their fried cheese balls.  and Burger King’s too!!!  AND THEY WERE ha-mazing.  not sure why these aren’t sold in America(/Philadelphia), considering we love cheese AND fried things!!!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAFnz-OG33A/

in the same mall eatery there was a place that grabbed our attention

but the finger food didn’t grab out appetite

so American that Bay Watch plate!!!  (it’s about $4)

sadly Czech people don’t speak and spell like Hungarians, so no szósz here :(

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAF8GHfm34o/

but they do have their own fun-named foods

and strange candy that isn’t really all that strange

and unbelievably beautiful and tasty breads

https://www.instagram.com/p/BANrx__G32f/

and some sort of cheese bread thing!!!

and meats meats meats!!! like this meat platter at the lovely Café Savoy!

and four of the best things I ate on my trip (AND IN LIFE!!!!) were from Prague…

cabbage pancakes from Mlejnice!!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAIm4QjG36o/

steak tartare on toast!!!

+ wide noodles in mushroom sauce, both from Vinohradský parlament!!! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BANEi8-G32I/

and even their movie posters are cool cause they’re not in English!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAJk0cJm34f/

where inspiration can be found for one and all, right Wes?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAOmIkQm3yk/

and we made new friends…

like graphic designer Pavel!!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAKj_o-m3yl/

who designed this amazing poster that hangs in my abode!!!!!!!!

and a cartoony creature that now rivals Chip n’ Dale for our hearts…

Krtek / Krteček!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, we done here, Czech please!

and then it juss clicked in my head…

Tony Revolori as lobby boy Zero Moustafa in The Grand Budapest Hotel & Pee-Wee Herman as a bellhop paging himself in his own Adventure are…

Bitched @ Swirth!!!!

–

The Grand Budapest Hotel
Pretty Vacant 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 99 min

I read somewhere recently that ‘at this point in time you either love Wes Anderson movies or you don’t’.  I don’t believe it’s that black & white.  Personally, I love Wes Anderson, but I don’t really love Wes Anderson movies anymore.  After his career apexed with The Royal Tenenbaums, ever since, it’s been nothing but the same sh!t, with slight differences in the ‘plot’ – oh no, it’s love issues, but now it’s with daddy on a boat!  then brothers on a train!  and then there were them two misunderstood kids on an island!  and now it’s longing for the lost love of a hotel’s glory years!  

Wes’ Grand Budapest Hotel feels like his most ambitious film/diorama to date, but the only thing that’s grand is the design.  Grand sets!  Grand costumes!  Grand mustaches!  Grand use of the font Futura!  Don’t get we wrong, Budapest is fun, and mildly funny, and Ralph Fiennes‘ concierge M. Gustave H character may be Anderson’s most fun character since Royal Tenenbaum himself, but as a movie???  It’s not much of a movie.  If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the movie, cept there’s like 11% more F Murray Abraham!!  Come to think of it, I kinda like the F Murray Abraham bits the most, where he, as our other main character, is collecting dust in the current run-down state of the hotel, and reflecting back on the way it used to be  

I, like Wes, long for the past.  I kinda wanted to go visit that Kutsher’s place, to see what had become of the Borscht-belted Catskill ‘grand’ resort, but I think I missed my chance, as it’s scheduled for demolition.  For Wes, he did get to go back, and invented his own grand hotel with his pink and purple paintbrushes, but to what end?  Longing for something not worth longing for.  It’s a hotel that feels pretty vacant.  Who cares if it looks amazing?

Wes, it’s time to hit the reset button.  Try adapting someone else’s work (again, like you brilliantly did with Fantastic Mr Fox).  You could be an even better Baz Luhrmann than Baz Luhrmann, instead of a Wes Anderson imitator

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Budapest is pesty in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…