Tag Archives: Todd Solondz

Day For Nightmare

Life During Wartime
Heart & Solondz
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Did you survive Todd Solondz‘ 1998 cringe-fest Happiness?  For a whole decade, we didn’t.  In fact, it had left us so bothersome and icky that we despised it, left it for dead, and got really angry anytime someone brought it up … until our more cynical selves took a recent second look at it.  And the new verdict?  A complete 180 degree turn.  Yes, Happiness is still a boat-load of flinch and wince inducing uncomfortably numbness, but it may juss be the mos beautiful and heartfelt unkind film of our modern cinema age.  How did we get it so wrong?  Had our tastes and refinement not yet reach its fruition during the end of the 20th century?  Did we need to move to NY and became post-9/11 jaded for us to view awfulness in a new light?  These questions are too heavy for a website like this.  Anywho…

With Life During Wartime, Solondz goes back to the same bleak well, one that we never thought in 1000229 zillion billion years was worth revisiting… until we experienced his latest monster creation.   And oh baby, it’s alive!!!!!!!!!!!  Although somehow not as gut-wrenching and damaging to the psyche!!!  It’s probably a good idea that you see Happiness first (but if have and loathe it beyond all belief, maybe you should stop there), as the characters all carry over into Wartime, despite an entirely new set of actors playing em.  Yep, Solondzzzies does it again, playing with our minds and his creations, although not as crazily as he did with Palindromes, where 10 actors of various ages, creeds and sexes all played the same role.  We hated that flick too, but maybe we need to give in a second chance as well.  Sarah Palindrome will never get a second chance with us, ever.  May have sumting to do with her ruining our real last names!!!!  Plus she blows, COCK!!

(qwik note about the paragraph below: we’ll mention the new actor playing each role, as well as the actor who played it originally)

So what is life like during wartime for the Jordan and Maplewood clans?  Joy (Shirley Henderson, a more moaning myrtle version of Jane Adams) is still a wreck and wrecking everyone’s life who she comes into contact with.  Even the ghost of Andy (a literally and figuratively haunting Paul Reubens, standing in admirably for Jon Lovitz‘ sad sack) won’t let her forget about his suicide.  She’s having problems with the problematic Allen (Michael K. Williams, a tad less creepy than Philip Seymour Hoffman), so she heads to California to visit with her blah-blahed actress sis Helen (Ally Sheedy, gettin shallow juss like Lara Flynn Boyle) and to Florida to visit with her ‘cheerier’ sister Trish (Allison Janney, in perhaps her juicest role to date, although we do miss the homely cutie-pie-ness of Cynthia Stevenson), who’s trying to start life anew after hubby Bill (our mos flavorite actor goings Ciarán Hinds, who strips away all the humor Dylan Baker dished out) got sent away for being a pedophile.  Well, his time’s been served and he’s out in the world looking for a bit o forgive and forget-ness (+ a one night stand, with a deliriously delicious Charlotte Rampling), as is the case with all parties involved (eggcept no one else is trying to bag Charlotte Rampling’s character).  Trish has found a nice Jewish man (Michael Lerner, who’s about as Jewish as it gets + the papa of the thighlariously red-scared son played by Rich Pecci) that she hopes will instill some manlihood into her soon to be a man (in the Bar Mitzvah sense) son Timmy (Dylan Riley Snyder, the new Justin Elvin).  Timmy’s the heart & Solodnz of the picture (with the Billy character alls growns up and off to college, Chris Marquette, subbing for Rufus Read).  His pain is real, and his endless questions are realerer.  You juss wanna hug the kid, but that’s probably not the best idea for a confused child of a pederast father.  Will they ever find happiness?  Is it even possible?  Regardless, here’s hoping we get to see what happens to these folks in peacetime!

The Song Doesn’t Remain The Same: there’s the Talking Heads’ ‘Life During Wartime’ and then there’s the song of the same name for this movie, but with different lyrics (actually written by Solondz) and perofrmed by Devendra Banhart & Beck.  either way, we’re happy-ness!

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers, but ONLY if you’ve survived Happiness 1st

Life gets one today in NY today, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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MadamI’mAdam

• What to do this tweakend? Well, if you’re me, you beg and bribe one of yer breastest friends, with Popeyes Fried Chicken thighs and back rubs, into taking you to the secret Beck show. I’m lookin in yer direction MEGBOT! Or should I brown nose a lil and say ‘MegHOT’? C’mon, I got us into that secret Annie show last night at the Try-Becca Grand!! That was almost as rock out with cock outable as when we saw t.A.T.u. perform on Carson Daly!! But for the rest of you squares, esp you NYCers, please do not waste yer time seeing…

Palindromes
ThismovieblowsgoatstaogswolbeivomsihT
Trailer

michael palindromes?

While Alexander Payne makes movies where you can identify with the characters and situations, Todd Solondz is on the other end of that spectrum. Solondz’es movies are filled with painful people, doing painful things, in the most painful situations that we all pray will never ever happen in our lifetimes. What is you forking deal bro? Did mumsy and daddy beat you with a sock filled with walnuts? Did your wicked uncle Ernie fiddle about with you? Out of his three previous flicks, Welcome To The Dollhouse, Happiness, and Storytelling, only that last one was remotely watchable, meaning I didn’t have to take 16 showers afterwards just to feel clean again. I was hoping that trend would continue here, but sadly (more like gladly) that was not the case. Solondz goes right back to ugliness that no one really needs to intake. Here’s the dreadful story this go around: an awkward young teenage girl named Aviva gets pregnant, parents force her to abort, then she runs away to discover… gawd knows what: pedophiles, religious crusaders, abortion doctor killahs, and a Partridge Familyesque collection of handicaps and mentally retarded kids. If that’s not enuff to make you slit yer eyes out w/out even seeing it, how bout the fact that the actress who plays Aviva, changes 7 or more times! First she’s a lil chubby black girl, then a dumpy white girl, then a skinny white girl with red hair, then some other white girl, then a huge-ass black girl, etc. and finally Jennifer Jason Leigh?!?!??? WTF? Egggzactly. Stay home and cut off your ears instead. That would be more enjoyable and you’d still have 10 bones in yer pocket.

Recommended for those who like: torturing themselves, the sound of fingernails on a chalk board, and Lyndie England’s hot bod.

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix any other movie in eggsistance as I guarantee it’ll be better. [repost from Rocktober]

Anywho…

• Word has it that TWO FF bands will be performing at this year’s fantabulos & free River 2 River concert series: The Fab Faux (Beatles tribute band) and nun other den, los Fiery Furnaces. [via Manic Messiah]

• Take a peep at the next Gus van Sant movie I won’t be sitting thru: Last Days. Michael Pitt the ‘actor’ as a quasi-Kurt Cobain? Break out the razors u juss used for Palindromes, cause our eyes will need slitting. How could this be Lukas Haaaasable? [via K-Pecker]

• Wanna more comprehesive review of the MSG Duran Squared show with 98% less OMGs and more words? Click here.


3 fat guys, a phone, and a pizza place

• To hell with Ron Burgandy, and to hello with Ron Mexico, aka Michael Vick and his herpes lawsuit alter ego! [via Badger Dadger]

• Ms Mod previews the new Stripes’ disc.

• The OC is filled with more irony than Michael Ironside reading Kornheiser’s Pumping Irony. Case example: playing Daft Punk’s ‘Technologic’ at Trey’s 21st B-day ecstacy bash, followed by LCrapD Soundsystem’s ‘Daft Punk Is Playing At My House’.

• Be the only person on earth to own a UW-Whitewater Warhawks sweater. Whilst there, u can also find one of the answers to this week’s umpossible crossword… which no one has yet to hand it. Tsk tsk, all over yer floppy disks.

• What was the #1 song on YOUR b-day? Sorry Debby Boone, but you don’t ‘Light Up My Life’. [via 1,2,3, Look @ Mr Lee. 3,4,5, look @ him jive!]

• I promise, THIS is the last Terri Schiavo-related thing I ever post! [via Zach de la Roachclip]

• April Golden Showers Bring My F$%king Urine All Over Your Effing Ooh-Jah!

• Ever wonder what me and the Mrs. do in our free time at Corn Palace? Besides being forced to watch hours upon zours of Cuthy’s highlight reels, 24 high-beam stizz included, we sometimes juss kick it and play Grambs‘ fav, Donkey Kongas! [link help via Juwanamaker/Brawny Man]

when not playing mind games, we play video games!

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