Tag Archives: Topher Grace

Klan Do Attitude

BlacKkKlansman
Spike-d Punch
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

R | 135 min

A black cop and Jewish cop go undercover as a single white minority-hating male to infiltrate a Colorado chapter of the Klu Klux Klan – and even trick former Grand Wizard and still current a$$hole David Duke into thinking they’re believers.  What a story!  And a true one, as told in entertaining fashion as BlacKkKlansman by the once relevant, then once kinda irrelevant, and now with this movie very relevant Spike Lee!

Ron Stallworth was a real black cop, who really duped the Klan, but a lot of what the movie presents is fiction to pulp up the storytelling.  The activist girlfriend and explosive racial throwdown towards the end?  Made up.  The Jewish guy who played the physical manifestation (who appeared to do most of the actual leg work) of the mouthpiece that Stallworth first presented to the Klan on the phone?  He may not even been Jewish in reality, but I see where Spike is going here with all the embellishment – doubling down on the ‘all power to all people’ to brush back against those seeking only bigotry thry white power – yesterday, today and forever.  But did he have to hammer the message so hard?

We spend about 2 hours enjoying the lighthearted and fun (that’s how it truly felt) tale of Stallworth (John David Washington, who doesn’t really give the character any depth beyond the giant prop afro) and his Jewish partner (Adam Driver, who is not Jewish) + Steve Buscemi’s brother Michael getting cozy with a bunch of actors who are allowed free reign to say a lot of nasty nasty NASTY things about blacks and Jews onscreen (Jasper Pääkkönen – whose performance stands above everyone else’s, and whose umlauts know no bounds + Paul Walter Hauser, who after this and I, Tonya, should just be cast in every movie).  They thwarted and embarrassed the Klan, and everyone in the police department (and the audience) had a good laugh about it in the end!

And then?  Spike Lee was probably upset that no one saw Bamboozled and didn’t get the message of how awful our country is on race, and so he had to tack on baiting footage at the end of white nationalists (with David Duke included) wrecking horrible havoc last year in Charlottesville.  Yes, it’s relevant to the movie that proceeded it, but its tone, its message and delivery all feel sloppy and completely unnecessary.  Come to think of it, the beginning of the film, with a clip of Gone With The Wind, followed by some racist nonsense spewed by Alec Baldwin (as a made up character with the very made up name of ‘Kennebrew Beauregard’) is out of place too.  These bookends may seek to bring focus to the bigger picture, both onscreen and off it, but it ends up muddling the movie, and the message

When the end credits started to roll, a gentlemen in the audience yelled – ‘fcuk America!’  And then when I went to the bathroom, a gentleman who obviously saw the same movie was mouthing to himself – ‘fcuking crackers!’, and I knew he wasn’t talking about Saltines

Yes, it’s OK to be upset and enraged, and we all should be, because the KKK suck and no one should spending so much of their time and energy hating other people, but I feel Spike did more harm than good by being so blatant and provocative.  The same message would have come across if the movie stuck to the fun and lighthearted delivery.  It will all only be worth it if the outrage is matched by something more important – getting people to vote to make actual change

Verdictgo: as entertainment - Jeepers Worth A Peepers | as a political statment – Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Klansmane burns crosses and bridges theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

who wore it best?

Topher Grace as David Duke?

or

Garrick Hagon as Biggs Darklighter

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Say Uncle… BOOOOOOOONMEEEEEE + 3 Other Reviews

Uncle Boonmee Who
Can Recall His Past Lives
(Loong Boonmee Raleuk Chat)

Mumble In The Jungle
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Yes, Apichatpong Weerasethakul‘s Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives is one of the greatesteststest movie titles since 2 Fast 2 Furious, but it is not one of the greatestestesteest movies ever like 2 Fast 2 Furious, despite winning the Palme d’Or at last year’s Cannes and the praises of others who have been singing loud about it. So what’s the big deal? Dunno. Boonmee‘s a spiritual journey, with no real twists or turns or anything resembling what us westerners refer to as a story, juss a lotta lush Thai countryside footage and some interesting stuff that isn’t used nearly enuff… like the catfish that Uncle B might have been in a former life!! Being a catfish doesn’t sound all that interesting, but what if we told you that this particular catfish pleasures women by swimming under their gowns and making them groan??? Yeah, we’d wanna see more of that strange Asian sexual fetish hotness too, but all we get is one scene of fish on fish grime. More like BOO-youu!! Even worser is the under-usage of Uncle B’s long lost son who is now some sorta totally creepy/scary/scary-creepy ghost monkey with glowing red eyes (see pic above/gif below)!!!! No, we do not require an explanation about what the F the ghost monkeys is be, but all we ask is that all the other boring sh#t in this movie get tossed aside so we can have a horror movie about red-eyed ghost monkeys haunting jungles and hunting down people or something!!! LOOK AT THEM EYES!!! They make Jawas look as lame as Wawa employees!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

 

The Adjustment Bureau
Fedorable
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Don’t know about you, but we never really cared all that much for Inception and its udder pretty petty nonsense.  Sure, it was a cool-ass looking and feeling movie, but it was a brainy confusing overload, for something that really wasn’t all that brainy or confusing when you actually thought about it.  9 dreams within a dream may sound crazy, but it’s not, cause we say so.  So, if yer like us, and wanted Inception to be leaner, cleaner and simpler, you’ll probably super-enjoy George Nolfi‘s take on Philip K. Dick‘s short story Adjustment Team, cause it’s like all the fun and mystery of Inception, but without all the overdone hullabaloo.  It’s also one of the better K Dick screen treatments, and in general, an all-around delightful little love story between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.  Wish there were more romantic flicks like this one and less ones like all the other crap that blows smelly farts into theaters every month.  Wish John Slattery could star in something where he didn’t have to wear a fedora.  Wish Anthony Mackie could be my BFF, cause he just looks like such a rad dude, with such a smooth-ass mustache!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Worth A Peepers

 

Take Me Home Tonight
License To Reheat
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Had little expectations going into the 80s throwback flick Take Me Home Tonight, but came out with nothing but a giant smile plastered on our faceses.  Sure, it’s not anything all that ingenious, but it was neither nor ignoramus either!  It’s like a leaner, cleaner and simpler Hot Tub Time Machine, and it’s actually better too, which isn’t saying much, cause HTTM isn’t really all that good, despite what you think or remember.  In TMHT, Topher Grace does his lovable dork thing he was typecast born to do, Teresa Palmer makes us forget that that actress chick from Twilight exists, Anna Faris does nothing, Chris Pratt is stupid, but in a different way, Demetri Martin is kinda good for like twice, and Dan Fogler proves once again that’s he’s the funniest heavy in comedies.  Dear Hollywurst, please give all of Jack Black’s roles to Fogler.  Dear Dan Fogler’s manager, please get him better movies, but not like Gulliver’s Travels… starring Jack Black.  Oh, and any movie that puts Angie Everhart‘s boobs on display is probably something worth watching, or at least JOing to!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

 

Of Gods And Men
(Des hommes et Des Dieux)

Holy Snoozefest!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

In some Muslim country, some priests or monks or something (including Lambert Wilson and Michael Lonsdale) live at a monastery on top of a mountain.  They help the local poor people with medicine, clothing, food, and divine guidance.  Then one day some bad terrorists Muslim dudes come to the area and the priests/monks have to decide whether to flee or stay put.  This conundrum gets discussed over and over for what seems like 29838238 hours before they decide to stay put, cause giving up on the locals and themselves seems like the wrong thing to do.  Well, apparently staying was the wrong thing to do cause the terrorists show up in the end and kill a bunch of the holy men. Yep, we juss ruined the entire movie for ya cause you deserve to be spared from this borefest.  Even after we learned at the end that this was a true story, it didn’t help to turn it into a good true story

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

 

Boonmee and Gods must be crazy, currently in limited release, while Tonight and Bureau are studio fun rocking out at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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